Hi All, Have been getting a lot out of all the posts. Am a bit stressed over the last few days and have to practice handing it over. I am on step 4, but sometimes I vacillate between three and four. I am going through a lot of changes at the moment but am careful to listen to my HP as he guides me through some of the processes, just sometimes I forget to let go of the reins. Am finding the speaker mp3s on this site absolutely brilliant, and I'm hoping to get to a meeting early tomorrow.
You got solid time LM...manage the stress do it at a certain time for a certain amount of time. Sounds crazy but I was taught to manage my stress that way. Schedule it when I wasn't so busy and then feel it for 15 or less minutes. You'll be amazed how easy it becomes to just recognize it and not feed into it over time. I don't do stress well but the managment of it I do real good. ((((hugs))))
Jerry, I really like that idea!! Maybe I should give it a try myself! thx
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Rheinhold Niebuhr
You got solid time LM...manage the stress do it at a certain time for a certain amount of time. Sounds crazy but I was taught to manage my stress that way. Schedule it when I wasn't so busy and then feel it for 15 or less minutes. You'll be amazed how easy it becomes to just recognize it and not feed into it over time. I don't do stress well but the managment of it I do real good. ((((hugs))))
^^^^^^ what Jerry said. Plus when you are postponing the stress ask yourself if there is anything that you can do to change, what you are stressing over, for the better. Chances are that you are stressing over "the things that you cannot change" like Time, Other people's actions, Immovable objects (like traffic lights that are red), Government institutions (one of my favorite), Money (you only get so much of it, but you can only spend less, unless you can make more, but stressing never does either). I give myself a test when I feel stress coming on about something. I say "self, either DO something about it right now or STFU!" And of course the part of me that stresses is irrational and has no plan to make the situation better, has no answer and so the rational side of my brain can then say "Ok you had your chance now be quiet or I'll lock you up in a trunk" lol. Works every time. I do look around to see if anyone is within earshot before I began talking outloud to myself.
Over the years I've paid attention to what invites stress into my life; procrastination, expectations of others, unrealistic expectations of myself, putting myself in positions of reaction rather than proaction, etc. I try to prevent what I can.
Recently in AA I've learned more about stressors that lie beneath the surface; resentments, feelings of control and absence of spirituality.
My other stressors are things out of my control; unexpected demands, "Do-Now" work stuff and things that "get on my nerves" or produce an anger response. All of those things can be sorted out with a deep breath and recitation of the Serenity Prayer and a quick triage of what needs to be Accepted or Changed.
As an alcoholic, I have to be constantly aware of what my responsibilities are, and to not make other people's problems my responsibilities.
Case in Point: My family is inside my circle of care. We need a bigger house & can't afford to do it without some delicate dealing and creative financial wrangling. The bottom line is that I have no control over whether or not we get the house we want. The bank, realtors and seller do. I may have to accept that we will have to adapt to the house we're in. My wife may not be able to accept that. I cannot allow her problem to become my stressor. All I can do is carry as much load as I comfortably can without putting my sobriety in danger; work hard at my job and keep doing the home-improvement tasks required to sell our house when & if the time comes. I Accept the things I cannot change, I will Change the things I can and if I open up my heart and listen...God will lend me the wisdom to know the difference.
Good Luck - and remember that two things are required of you today...breathe in and out...& don't drink.
Thanks all, these responses have been so helpful that I am printing them off and keeping them in front of me, I freak out over government institutions and end up with a big washing machine head going on the spin cycle, desperate,
