At one of the groups I belong to we study the 12 Traditions. It used to be just a step study group until one day I realized that the essays in my 12 and 12 on the steps were all highlighted and pages were torn and splattered with coffee rings, but the section on the traditions was completely unharmed. Of course it was. I had never read them. So I asked the group if anyone was having the same problem. Without mentioning any names, it was quickly decided we should delve into the traditions as well.
We were fortunate to have on hand a copy of the Traditions Checklist (which is available for free from the main AA website). Anyway, we were reading the questions from Tradition One and this particular question jumped off the page at me. It's question number 8.
Do I spout platitudes about love while indulging in and secretly justifying behavior that bristles with hostility?
Well, I'd like to say no of course not but then of course that would be dishonest of me. Just the other day I read a post here (the details are irrelevant) and I became a bit upset and without thinking the whole thing through I responded in a negative way. Then I realized what an ass I was, so I tried to delete it. I got a little help from one of my guardian angels. I won't mention his name but he's been going round with a little broom and dustpan and tirelessly sweeping up my messes. appreciate that.
the only consolation I got was finding out that we can all spout platitudes of love and tolerance and still engage in behavior that bristles with hostility when we misinterpet someone's motives.
the rest of that checklist is very helpful in learning how to get along with each other because although I may not always agree with what you say or do, I should always respect your right to say and do it.
so my apology to the concerned party and those readers who got caught in the crossfire. have a great day unless you have other plans.
-- Edited by Wolfie on Monday 8th of February 2010 09:23:02 AM
Great post Wolf. This gets me all the time. I pray a heck of lot, try and considerate of others, but then the next second I can find myself snapping at my son or wife, folks at work, getting gossipy about others, you name it. I think that it's something that we all do sometimes. I realise now that we have the equipment to deal with it now in the programme.
And the part of the BB that I kept forgetting about: "We are not saints." Doesn't mean that we stop trying to be, but we are not. Helps me to tune back into the programme when I get off the wavelength sometimes.
Howdy, Well, Thank you sir. I felt all of what you are referring to. Strangely enough I welcomed the passion and conviction. So as you posted, I respect YOUR right to say and do. Way to often I hold back in fear of people not liking me, the old tape of I can't stand not being liked. Low self esteem. That is odd for a rough and tumble bad ass drunk. I have always trusted this program of Alcoholics Anonymous, all of it, is where I get to practice life. I seem to be required to bring all of me. The good and the not so good. I never figured alkys were so sensitive that some ruffled feathers would hurt them, my experience in the program was quite confront-iv and nobody worried about hurting my feelings. I needed that. I still do. As far as scaring away some overly sensitive newcomer , well if booze and dope haven't "beaten them into a state of reasonableness" and created a "willingness to go to any length," nothing I say or do can sober the person up or run them off. I do not have that kind of power. I am grateful you are here. Toad
A belated Welcome to you...my computer was haywire last week and you cannot do too much typing here, with some of the letters being stuck on your keyboard....:)
I have had for years this little montra in my head "A Judgement is a Prison I have created for myself".....but as a human being, and being very imperfect cannot say I use that montra when I need it the most at times....
But will share that when I have not used it, it does cause a blockage to what I need the Most in my life, and that is a direct conscious contact with my HP, whom I choose to call God.
Takes days to untangle, we are in the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous to continue learning one day at a time, how to live life on Life's terms.
Speaking for myself....I have over 19 years of contineous sobriety and it adds a little more of the "you should know better" bringing me down a little further......
And to think this all came about from one critical judgment of another, ( it had to do with a person on Board). I now feel the forgiveness, I have been Praying for, and now can forgive myself in my humaness...and simply move on and extend myself to anyone that is new and suffering with this Disease we all share.
Again Bernie, Welcome, and wishing you a very Belated Happy Sober 13th year Birthday..
Good to meet you.
Toni
-- Edited by Just Toni on Monday 8th of February 2010 01:57:17 PM
We used to have an old timer whom passed away before I entered the program. His spirit still lives on through our AA group. Others will talk of him & it's like a part of him is still there in the rooms. He'd always say that very saying after speaking in a discussion.:)
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Rheinhold Niebuhr
