If a person has no career aspirations, but yet still put's their foot in it, is it still career suicide? And more to the point, in the grand scheme of things, does it matter?
I was at a whole team meeting at work on Thursday, in Birmingham. (West Midlands, UK, not Alabama). Around 200 of us, with some senior managers, some very senior managers and the senior, senior managers - the ones that baffle you with bullshit.
There is a phrase that grates on me. Raising the bar. I think of the high jump event and if you keep raising the bar eventually everyone fails.
Now there is something called performance management. It has two strands. Performance as related to achievement. The bar can be raised on achievement if better tools and processes are provided - like giving the high jumper a jumping pole.
Then there's performance as related to annual performance marking. If the marking of good means you hit all your targets, that's not raising the bar. If Good comes to mean hitting all your targets, doing a bit extra and smiling at the same time - then that's not right.
after 9 hours, not enough tea to drink, not enough nicotine, tiny little chairs to sit on and hearing Raise the Bar too damn many times, my mantra of think, think, think, flipping well failed, failed, failed and I blurted out, hey, you know what happens when you keep raising the bar? Sooner or later everyone fails.
There was a sharp, collective intake of breath and then one of the very senior mangers ripped into me, to paraphrase, if you don't believe in raising the bar, then you're on the wrong team, go find another team to work with. The even more senior senior, most senior in the room manager was even more direct - a clear threat that either I toe the line or find another job.
Oh shit, I felt really scared. Even though several of my peers said privately to me that I had only said what 200 people were thinking. Very nice, but it's not them that stands to show their arse in Burton's window.
So on Thursday I got zero sleep, spoke to a few AAers, finally spoke to my Line Manager, who said he expected to be told to 'have words' with me.
So I thought, and I step 4 and 5'd it. I prayed on it. I read on it, I thought on it. I step 10'd it and came to conclusion that I have nothing to apologise or make amends for, but that I should clarify my position, thank the very senior manager and the even more senior senior, most senior in the room manager for clarifying his position (which i did by e mail) and then hand the lot over.
So it took some time, it took over 15 hours of mental anguish, but eventually, I got to the solution. I do believe that I'm getting a bit quicker at it.
So the answer to my two opening questions I reckon are no and to paraphrase John Wayne, Hell No!
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Bill my bestest slogan? "Don't react!!" I so relate to what you did before, during and after with the after coming after getting into recovery. I had to look at another way of looking at the bs without finding a stick to poke at it. LOL Made yourself a marker did you? Hope it comes out well.
Nobody likes what Captain Obvious has to say. Kudos for keeping it real, at least they know that you've got large cajones and don't take a lot of ****. I tell you what, I never had any ass kissing skills, It just never looked good on me. This perhaps made me a substandard employee which made self employment my best option.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Sunday 7th of February 2010 07:31:26 PM
Bill, Hat's off to you for not drinking. Also, thanks for the inspiration. When faced with a personal crisis you utilized the spiritual tools of AA. That set a fine example for me...thanks! You've got a set of brass ones on you, for sure. You also thought for yourself instead of lining up in the chute like the rest of the cattle waiting for a bolt in the forehead. A 9 HOUR meeting just to say "do better, because you're all we've got and we need more out of you". Freakin' amazing.
Have you done your best? Have you reached down and found a little more to give when you felt like throwing in the towel? I'm sure you have. Turn it over.
I'm not as ballsy as you. I have a sticky note on my filing cabinet just for sales meetings. It says "BA?STFU"
Bad Attitude? Shut The F*** Up.
Besides...sounds like you've got skills. Careers continue even when jobs don't.
-- Edited by Aquaman on Sunday 7th of February 2010 08:55:44 PM
Hey Bill. First off, my hat is off to you. I have done the same thing in my past AND have moved on as a result of it and my HP always had my back. I am not suggesting you actually pull the plug on your current gig until it suits you. Your bosses are only mad because you made their nine hour foolishness show seem foolish. I like your plan and the email you sent. Deep down, the managers pedaling this trype know you are right and about 195 people in that room agreed with you. I am surprised that you did not suggest that everyone in the room be issued jet packs because then it would not really matter how high the f@#$%^& bar was raised, and it would be a whole lot more fun than sitting in a room for 9 hours TALKING about it. Tom
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
We call that the camel management system here, you keep adding loads on, then take one bit off and put a heavier bit on, make sure the camels are working in inclement weather, so that work conditions are not too good so no facilities becomes an options. You take care, think smart. Jobs are not easily got at the moment.
Some of my character defects are Stubborness, Insensitivity and Arrogance. Some of my character atributes are a broad back, a thick skin and self belief. Sometimes the attributes get out of hand and become defects. This was one of those times.
As my sponsor has driven home to me, character defects are character attributes on vodka.
Jobs are hard to come by and sometimes it's best to do a turtle - pull your neck in a bit. As a friend said to me, 'you worked for this lot long enough to know sometimes the corn has to bend in the wind. When the wind stops, the corn springs up again.'
In general, this has been a good employer to me and in return I've done the best I can. I have no desire to tell them to 'take their job and shove it' that's old thinking for me. I need to remember priciples before personalities - it makes it easier to work with 'challenging' people. (There's an improvement, I might have said rsoles in the past). The current style of macho management is difficult to deal with, thankfully I don't have a team working for me that I have to spray this tosh on. we are back in Nappy Management - always on your arse and usually full of sh1t.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Hey Bill, Good decision. Hey It ties in with the Twenty Four Hours meditation and Prayer:
Meditation for the Day
I must rely on God. I must trust Him to the limit. I must depend on the Divine Power in all human relationships. I will wait and trust and hope, until God shows me the way. I will wait for guidance on each important decision. I will meet the test of waiting until a thing seems right before I do it. Every work for God must meet this test of time. The guidance will come, if I wait for it.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may meet the test of waiting for God's guidance. I pray that I will not go off on my own.
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"You're in the right place. That's the door right there. Turn around."
Bill, Once the 12-step program made sense to me I fully expected the rest of the world to practice them, too. I threw a few tanturms when I was the only one in the room who understood humility (yes, I see the irony) and no one else was as committed to the organization as I. I'm still opinionated, but I have tempered my approach a little. All I was doing was offending people, and my message---whether valuable or not---was lost in my delivery. Such situations have become my exercise in turning it over, in getting out of the results. I try to examine my motivation: Do I have another agenda? Am I really want to help, or am I just on the attack? However much I value the 12 steps of AA I understand that practicing them in my affairs was a life-or-death decision for me. Not so for most of the world. To expect others to subscribe to my philosphy is hubris.
-- Edited by murrill on Thursday 11th of February 2010 12:12:51 PM
I got a write up from my boss a few months ago. I ripped into her because the simple fact is that she is a huge slacker and rules by intimidation. I basically stated that she could write me up, but could expect a letter explaining how grossly unsatisfactory her work is. All this got me was about a month of being under the magnifying glass and some serious ass kissing to do to make up for the things I said. I cannot change my boss. They let me keep my job when my drinking was starting to get to the point of being an obvious problem. My sponsor had me read "To the employer" and the message is, I do basically owe my job my all and to do my best at all times and they owe me a paycheck as a result. I cannot rationalize any of my mistakes being tolerated because my boss makes 20 times more mistakes and is a huge hypocrite. Since this realization, I don't feel the need to chime in with coworkers about this boss being intolerable...I don't care that she tells us to get the f**k out of her office, don't care that her mantra is "Everything must be perfect and it's the quality stupid." That's just her whack ass communication and management style. I just do my best.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I got fired 3 times in a row in early sobriety for "knowing more than my boss" lol. I felt powerless over my own mouth. I decided to take unemployment for 6 months and get my business started.
Sobriety + self employment = "We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness, We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it, We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace, we will see how our experience can benefit others, Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change, Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us, We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves."
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Sunday 14th of February 2010 08:20:29 AM
