I don't get to visit here as often as I would like, but I made it today. I am living back in my little community again. What a journey it has been for the past year. So good to be amongst friends again. Life is pretty good now. I get to see my son on an irregular basis, but that will fix itself in it's own time. Separation agreement was finally signed, so now I can close that chapter of my life. I anticipate being served divorce papers shortly, and will welcome it with open arms. It feels good to be alive, happy, and at peace and I will tell you shortly where I found it. I also joined our local volunteer fire dept. Plans are underway for our local car show/bbq which I will do for the first time in 2 years.
I was always searching for something, me. Trying to figure it all out, making it way too complicated. But I could not settle down because of all the other turmoil in my life. Things just didn't fit together. I couldn't be happy because I was lonely, lonely because I couldn't handle where I was at. And couldn't handle where I was at because I wasn't happy. The cycle begins. Actively reading the Big Book, I saw Part III for the first time (again). Wondered if some people 'out there' would find "Join the Tribe" politically incorrect, and saw parts of me in story after story. Then I read the very last story. And there I was. The man who fantasized greatness, and lost himself in an alcoholic world. Fitting I would see myself in the last story, and then it kind of clicked. Still doubting my HP, but I'm working on it. The hardest thing in this whole process ? It was the loneliness, but gaining that back at a good rate.
Have a good day everyone.
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I'm proud to say I am an Alcoholic, and my name is Scott.
If the plan for me is divinely inspired, no man shall find fault with where I am today, or how I got here.
Yes there is life after divorce and being single and a single parent can be a lot of fun. It was for me. Those 6 years between marriages were awesome. I'd do again if I had to.
It does sound like you are going to any lengths. It sounds like you are handling all of this with as much grace as possible. Most importantly, this is the psychic shift described in the big book that starts us on our journey. The more profound, the better your odds of staying sober. Thanks for this post Jeff.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
