How important are they in the scheme of things? Not important at all. Screw 'em.
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But I got all bent out of shape over 'em anyway tonight. Guess I have a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong way to go.
I mean really. The place I work at got some kick ass onion rings. I ordered 'em again a few days later. This time they sucked. So I said to myself, this is the same kind of crap the owner of this place does all the time. You can't order shit here 'cause you never know what you're gonna get. End of story.
But then tonight someone ordered them and they were the good kind. So I'm like, cool they have the good kind tonight. I ordered some. Guess what? I got the crappy kind. I flipped out.
But at least I didn't flat-out refuse to pay for 'em. I might have done that before. Baby steps. I'm not ordering 'em again.
Of course I thought this was going to be the familiar metaphor about how the journey in sobriety is like peeling away the layers of an onion. Flipping out over onion rings is more novel though lol. I shared recently that in my whole first year and still to a degree, I flip over small stuff the same as if it were large, real, problems. Perspective takes a while to develop, even if you work a good program for a while, time still takes time. You'll mellow out more and things will get better. Hang in there FS..
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
P.S. FS, My 'paranoia' stretched to things like that in early sobriety. I would tell myself, "they've done that DELIBERATELY to upset me.........why me? I HATE everybody....... No wonder I drunk like I did.............".
Oh! Yes Louisa! It's all about YOU they're out to get & irritate YOU !
Yes, looking back, thank God, I have come a long way.........but I really do identify with you and it does get so much better..........just thinking now actually I don't think I've had that thought pattern in quite a few years but I used to have it all the time - while drinking and probably in the first year or so in sobriety...........
-- Edited by louisa on Tuesday 26th of January 2010 09:52:19 AM
FS, I've had them days in the past and I'm still eligible to have them if I get caught up in my own thinking. I can pre-occupy (obsess) over the littlest things that don't mean sh*t. My friend reminds me that as alcoholics we can spend hours devising a plan to polevault over fly sh*t.
Sometimes little things are big problems to us....... my diesase likes to try and keep my mind in a chaotic environment where it has some power. Good to see you writing about it and taken that power away from it.
I still must be very sick, because when I get crap food, I refuse to pay for it. I can understand why you were annoyed. It really irritates the hell out of me when it happens. It sounds like there are two different chefs in that place, one good and one not good. Now I've seen the picture, I am going to put some nibbles on, he he he.
I'm kinda with ya, man. Since taking alcohol off my menu I have higher standards for what is on it. Here in the US Midwest we have this awesome cholerterol-bomb called Fried Cheese Curds. White cheddar cheese curd nuggets that are battered and deep fried, served with marinara or ranch dressing. (in honor of my British friends...I may try them with malt vinegar sometime).
The best ones are beer-battered fresh & on site and then fried, making a giant gooey clump of stretchy, steamy, dairy-land aorta-bomb. Wisconsin Tempura.
The crap ones come frozen in a bag and get deep-fried. They are usually yellow cheddar and the outer-shell isn't soft and seasoned...it's a cruchy hull reminiscent of an over-cooked tater-tot. Tourist Chow.
I always ask the waitron if they're fresh or frozen and it's frozen...I get the baked potato.
No wonder I drunk like I did.............".
