Howdy,
Nothing to be afraid of. Just a new way to live without booze.

Easy Does It,
Toad

Hi and Welcome to MIP

You have done part of the 1st Step--realizing that you have a problem and need to deal with it.

Do you have or have been told about the Big Book--AA's Bible--in it will be the very start to your recovery, especially the first 164 Pages. There are other books and tapes available--but get the Big Book first, then The 12 Steps and 12 Traditions--called the 12 & 12.

All or most of us can help you out--either on this Board or in some cases individual e-mails back and forth.

A lot of us have many years of Sober Time. We have all been there done that and are now living a better life without drinking.

I myself have 71/2 Years, 8 in June.

Aloha glc...a recovering alcoholic in the pacific ocean....well not quite in the ocean at
the moment, that would be kinda hard on my desk top.  You've come here looking like
almost all of us did from the start and the initial find is a whole load of recovering people
willing, able and loving enough to take your hand and help you attempt and start a
journey we also started much the same way as you have.  We didn't know anything
except that maybe we had a problem however that arrived at us.   And here we are
for you.  We practice our recovery is sooo many ways all revolving around a program
that works most for most.  We have a declaration we honestly participate in, "When
anyone, anywhere reaches out for help we want the hand of AA to always be there and
for that I am responsible."    What is it that you need feedback on?    (((hugs)))

-- Edited by Jerry F on Tuesday 19th of January 2010 09:37:43 PM

I would simply suggest keeping an open mind, even if it's only open a crack.  I, like yourself, wanted to avoid A.A. at all costs in the beginning - because I had preconceived notions about what A.A. was.  Those who have not been to A.A. (and even many who have) often hear or see bits of information which lead them to decide in advance that the program is not for them. 

You may attend an open meeting of A.A. even if you do not consider yourself to be an alcoholic, just to observe and get some idea what the program is really about.  You don't need to be worried about being called upon to speak - if that does happen in your first meeting (or first few, if you decide to check out more than one), you can just say "Thanks, I'd like to listen" and that will be completely respected - we've all been there.

Try not to get overwhelmed by all the info that will be coming your way - if you decide to stick around, it will slowly start to make sense.

For some reason it won't let me post a link to the big book online but that is what I googled to find it. Big book online. I found it and started reading and decided AA was the best place for me at this time.
Good luck.

msujmccorm wrote:

---

For some reason it won't let me post a link to the big book online but that is what I googled to find it. Big book online. I found it and started reading and decided AA was the best place for me at this time.
Good luck.

---

Here's the link to the Big book online where you can read it for free.

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

 

I first want to thank everyone for the kind thoughts and words.  I didnt know what to expect but I did not expect so much support...especially from so many people.  I think I had a preconceived notion that people in AA thought things had to be done a certain way.  I guess that goes with my all or nothing thinking.  I am so touched to hear that people truly care about other people and just want to support eachother. 

I have been reading through other posts and I feel like other people are reading my mind.  I guess that means I am in the right place :)

Just a little info about me...I am 29 years old, I am married and a mother to a one year old daughter.  I work full time and I felt like I lived a normal life.  I dont know how things got so out of control but here I am and I feel I am where I need to be.

I know I have a lot of work to do...I dont even know where to start or what to do.  I am going to read the book that was linked and I will take it from there.

Thanks again!

Like Sobrietyspell, I was also 29 when I got sober and my son was 2. I didn't want him to grow up with an alcoholic father like I did. They say that you can't get sober for someone else, but I'd say that you can, you just can't Stay sober longterm for someone else. We do usually come for someone else and stay for ourselves because our self esteem is beat up and we don't see the value that is in us. The program helps to right this perception. Good luck in your new journey.

Welcome to the board. This is the first step toward sobriety. Keep up the good work. I will keep you in my prayers.

Just an update on me...I am doing ok.  The first few weeks were much easier than now.  I catch myself trying to rationalize drinking and bargining with myself.  I had a glass of wine when I went out to dinner with friends Friday night.  It didnt seem like a big deal to me at the time but now I am obsessing about it.  Mad at myself for doing it...and trying to convince myself I am fine because I was able to do it.  Either way I know I need to stop thinking about it and move forward.  So I am still working but some days seem so much harder than others.  Thank you again for your support. 

You don't need to obsess about the glass of wine, just change your sober date.  When i was first trying to quit on my own, I would often have just one drink.  This would of course convince me that I was able to control my drinking. Then maybe a week later I'd have another one, then the next time I'd have two.  It always turned out the same, I'd eventually be right back where I was.

My sponsor has a little test for people who aren't sure if they're alcoholic - he says, go to a bar for 7 days in a row - drink 2 drinks and leave each day.  If you can do that for a week and never have any more at the bar or anywhere else, he says you're probably not alcoholic.  (You could probably try it at home too).  I never needed to take that test, I already knew I'd fail.

--------------

Here's an excerpt from the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" that might interest you..

--------------

Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics.  No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows.  Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people.  The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker.  The persistence of this illusion is astonishing.  Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

We know that know real alcoholic ever recovers control.  All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals--usually brief--were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.  We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness.  Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.

Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic.  Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn't done so yet.

Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves the exception to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic.  If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him.  Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people! 

Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums--we could increase the list ad infinitum.

To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have.  This is particularly true of women.  Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years.  Certain drinkers, who would be greatly insulted if called alcoholics, are astonished at their inability to stop.

If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year.  If he is a real alcoholic and very far advanced, there is scant chance of success.  In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later.  Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic.  We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year.  Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks.

Many of us felt that we had plenty of character.  There was a tremendous urge to cease forever.  Yet we found it impossible.  This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it--this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.

---------------

One other thing:  Attempts to control alcohol use usually mean that it's already out of control.  Normal drinkers don't usually try to control their alcohol use, they don't even think about it at all.  They might get drunk on rare occasions, but they don't usually feel the need to swear off alcohol.

-- Edited by FlyingSquirrel on Monday 25th of January 2010 06:40:55 AM

FlyingSquirrel wrote:

---

One other thing:  Attempts to control alcohol use usually mean that it's already out of control.  Normal drinkers don't usually try to control their alcohol use, they don't even think about it at all.  They might get drunk on rare occasions, but they don't usually feel the need to swear off alcohol.

-- Edited by FlyingSquirrel on Monday 25th of January 2010 06:40:55 AM

---

Ha, this is actually a fantastic point. Thanks. I'm familiar with the passage above that but read it again (can it be read too many times? Pretty sure I know the answer to that). Anyway, thanks for this input and this is an interesting way of putting it that I never heard.