helpless feeling

alena · Member

helpless feeling

Cabbageheadchris · Senior Member

Hi Alena, glad that you found us, and welcome to the site.

There is far more to life than drinking as you will find out if you are ready. It won't be long before you are feeling a lot better. I know thats hard to believe at the moment, but it is true.

Three days is a good start, it's a lot better than I thought I could manage at the begining, so stick with it.

Keep on coming back here too, lot's of great people who have all been through the same and are here to help.

Best wishes.

Chris.

GammyRose · MIP Old Timer

Alena, I think I know how you are feeling, but it will pass. Don't drink today, tonight and in the morning you will have another day of sobriety. You've already met Chris and there are so many others here that have been here for awhile who have been down the same road as you. Keep coming back, keep posting, we are here for you.

Have you ever been to AA. If not I would suggest you find a face to face meeting and go, if you already go to AA, keep going.Glad you are here.

(((Hugs)))

GammyRose

wagon · Senior Member

hi i know how you feel and like the others said it shall pass it takes allittle time !

find a aa meeting place i could not have gotten as far as i have without it! there are great peole there to meet and here also. just hang in there and may god blessyou wagon

Dave Harm · Senior Member

Hi Alena,

Everyone here knows the pain, confusion and the loss associated not only with our own use of alcohol, but also how our relationships were built on alcohol. I know what you mean by drinking everyday. I'd wake up in the morning with a beer on my nightstand. Looking back at it now, its easy to see how insane my life had become, but at the time, it all had a strange sense of comfort. It is a very scary place realizing that you can't live life with alcohol, but you can't imagine a life without it.

It will get better. I know you'll hear it a lot, but it is true. Just for today, just for tonight, choose not to drink. If that means you don't go out - so be it. If you need to go out - start making new friends at an AA meeting.

The hard part about early sobriety is our relationships. Sadly, some of them need to end. Literally, for me, it was a matter of life or death. No relationship is worth that pain. Sometimes, we need "to change our playgrounds and our playmates."

Best wishes,

Dave Harm

www.daveharm.com

dadrrb1 · Member

I just wanted to say that the way you feel....like you have lost someone or something, is completely normal. You have given up your partner, that you have been with for a long time. Now its time for the grieving process. Here are the steps to the process....

Denial (this isn't happening to me!)

Anger (why is this happening to me?)

Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)

Depression (I don't care anymore)

Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

The end result is Acceptance. Your ready for whatever comes, and willing to go to any length to remain sober.

I am praying that God will be with you and give you the strength to get through this. Remember that God loves you and there is nothing you can do about it. He will help you!!

Don't drink today, and if you can, go to an AA meeting. Hey, its something to do on Friday night besides drink. Who knows, You might hear something that will help. Scope the place out, and look for a sponsor.

If I can do this, so can you.

dadrrb1 (aka..Robert)

alena · Member

thanks for all your posts,

its saturday morning and no hangover or regrets.it was very hard yesterday without my usual routine!but managed it,may i also add that my partner of 3 yrs had to go on tuesday as well as me making the choice not to drink.my phone was ringing at 2am this morning so its safe to say he has chosen drinking over us!

he has been a drinker for 20+ yrs so dont reckon he will change now and will have to live with his yellow eyes and hep of liver.i personally dont want that for myself nor have my child look back on a drunk mother

i have tryed aa before in my town but slipped back in to my drinking when got back with partner.maybe i will go again but feel ashamed to show my face after starting again.

i can tell there is alot of support on this site and thankyou again. today im going to go shopping and have something to show for my money. love to you all Alena xx

aaqld · Veteran Member

alena wrote:

i have tryed aa before in my town but slipped back in to my drinking when got back with partner.maybe i will go again but feel ashamed to show my face after starting again.

Hi Alena,

You are doing well.

I too found it hard to go back to aa after slipping back to the booze. I felt ashamed. The truth was that my disease was telling me *anything* in order to keep me away from what was good for me.

The disease knows that it will lose power over me if I go to aa meetings, so it gives me lots of reasons not to go. It is cunning, baffling and powerful.

When I went back to the meetings, I discovered that I was welcome, I was not judged and that shame I was feeling did not have a basis in reality. They were glad to see me and glad I made it back.

The heart wants and knows what is best but the head always asks too many questions.

cheri · Senior Member

Hi Alena,

Welcome to the board, and to a life of recovery. It is Sunday evening..how was your first sober weekend? I just got back from a sober wedding and am catching up from being away.

You say you feel ashamed to go to AA meetings because you drank after attending them. Please know that any AA member absolutely will NOT care that you went out and did some more research. The only thing they will care about is that you have made it back alive.

Go to a meeting, reconnect with the people there, get a sponsor. And let us know how you are doing. We care.

Love,cheri