My sister is finally out of hospital,but she is in a strange quagmire of what steps to take next,(much like myself).I feel like a fraud trying to offer sum advice on her drinking when i have my own alcohol demons.i ask myself why offer advice on mowing ones backyard when mine is 3ft tall,am i being a hypocrite.i regret not knowing about my sisters alcoholism earlier but how much value can you put on helping out my sis when i am an alcoholic as well.I have recently spent 2 and 4 1\2 month stints in rehab so i guess i can offer some mediocre advice on where to look for help,sleep problems,just general things like that.I want to be there for her,mainly because no body from my family ever said to me "hey brett i think your drinking a bit much".But i suppose i was an adult then and old enough to make my own path in life,but considering i was the youngest of a family with alcohol abuse history i just wish that someone would have"taken me aside" as such.I suppose to a certain degree i am a little shitty with my sister for becoming an alcoholic in her fiftys,and the fact that historicly only the men had drinking problems in my family.I shake my head with anger and disbelief when i see how both parents and kids(and they are just kids) behave at schoolies.suppling their underage children with alcohol just so they can binge drink. Dont they understand they are enabling them to develope an alcohol problem in the future, if i had my way i would jail every adult suppling alcohol to a minor,no ifs or buts.I remember 6 yrs ago a mate of mine gave my now 20yr daughter a can of jim beam without my knowledge,so i confronted him the next day and he addmited he had done so.I asked him why (no reason was going to contain my rage)and he said"oh 1 wont hurt"so i sat him on his bum, if u know what i mean.We as adults who have supposidly learned by our mistakes are continually giving our young ones the skills and tools to develope a substance problem in later life,its just got to stop.My goal this year is to stop drinking, i know i will, i have had enough.When, how,why, only myself and god know that, but i am determined to breath again.Happy sobriety everyone where ever you are. BRETT.
thanks 4 your reply.we live quite seperate and diverse lives to a certain degree.we will always love one another and support each other but doing it togeather maybe not in our best interests.Thanks Brett.
If you are both doing it at the same time...You will be doing it together. In earlier sobriety I thought I was not of any use to another alcoholic. This is not true. One alcoholic helping another is the crux of AA. Dr. Bob and Bill W. started helping each other when both had limited sobriety time. What you can offer your sister is huge in the way of empathy and understanding. There are no answers for you to share really...just support and caring. Leave the rest up to AA, her sponsor, and her HP. This is a chance for you to get closer to your sister and that is one of the wonders of AA...It says in our literature that our drinking past becomes our asset in terms of helping others instinctually. You are qualified to help any alcoholic....just by being one. You don't need to be her sponsor. I'm sensing a big "protector" sort of vibe from you which is really honorable and mostly an asset im sure, but people have to find things out in their own and God's time and we do God's will just by setting a good example ourselves and by helping another when the opportunity arises and they are ready for it. I can't fully identify with your experience because I am the only alcoholic in my immediate family and can only identify 1 uncle (who was in AA) and now a couple cousins that were/are afflicted by alcoholism. I think I would be pretty angry at alcohol and the disease for messing with virtually my whole family like you describe. That has got to be tough and you help me feel grateful that it is only me thus far in my family. So...in sum, don't sell yourself short on being able to help another....but don't forget that serenity prayer in terms of knowing you can't control the outcomes and what others do with the help you offer to them. Most importantly, I really admire your resolve with regard to your own sobriety. What is now your knowledge of what has been a family illness and disease can now be your strength. In support,
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
So good to see you Post, and the suggestions you have received, well cannot add too much more.
Early recovery has so many ups and downs, and it sure sounds like you are just going with the tide, as long as you can keep yourself in the the little raft of Recovery, and keeping talking here and at meetings, and begin relying on you HP, it all sounds so positive.
