Can't remember ever going to a meeting where the topic was the "Joy" of recovery and then I never say never anymore. That was this mornings topic at the end of our Wed. speaker meeting and HP does use others to get me to consider what I cannot or willnot do by myself. I shared from my own experience and listened to others who did like wise and came away still wanting to hear more. Sooooo I want to hear more!! I turn it over to the MIP fellowship. Done. ((((Hugs))))
We have had unusually heavy snow here in England and I was out walking, well TRYING to *giggle* walk into my local village. It was hard going, but I came to the top of a hill near where I live, everything was covered in beautiful freshly powdered snow, the trees were glistening with it and I just sighed very deeply thinking how amazingly wonderful it is to be sober. It felt heavenly - just surged through me- beautifully, gently and peacefully.
"The joy of living we have, even under pressure and difficulty" - one of my favorite BB quotes. So cool that you want even more joy! I know my biggest joy today will be picking up my 2-yr-old at daycare, and seeing my husband when he walks in the door. I actually really enjoy the people who are in my life on a daily basis - THAT is a miracle. Thanks for this post and getting me to think of the joys in my life, and thanks Louisa for that lovely description of your walk!
Not to rant, but I have to add one more thing that hit me recently. Someone was saying in a meeting one of those old adages about how if they could have asked for anything in their life they would have sold themselves short, etc. I thought it's true, but only half true, and then when I spoke something reallly cool came to me. It's not that it's all cut-and-dry "good" - it's stuff like the freedom that comes from being dumped, or the joy that comes from losing everything. It's the beauty of pain and how much you appreciate not being in pain afterwards, and then how much you almost look forward to the lesson of pain the next time. Basically what I mean is that all the good stuff of being sober is complicated and beautiful, and that in itself is good, not just that all the "right" things happen to you. So it was good to get clarity on that recently!
I feel the joy in the simplicity of life. No more drama. And the joy of the cherished friends, that I have gained since recovery began.
There is also simple joy in all the little things, I live alone, a simply quiet life, and with the help and love of my precious, beloved friends....it keeps my life running like a smooth pond.....not too many ripples....
Laughing now cause it might sound like a commercial, but one of my favorites is the awesome aroma of a wonderful, one cup of fantastic coffee when I wake up to brew it in my little one person European coffee press....haha, see it did sound like a commercial....
For me, to find joy involves only one thing always, to open my eyes and really see that sunlight on a leafs, or a smile from a friend, the list could go on infanitum.....
Having a loving God in my Life, and remaining sober, that is always on top of any gratitude list.....and the air to breath in....
We are all so very very blessed with our Recoveries, feel that one almost everyday, well I do miss some days, and wonder why I am having a less than day.....
Hugs Jerry, and thank you, as usual, for yet another awesome Post from you. Toni
PS. Louisa, I saw on the early news, that England was getting hit with snow in some areas that were topping 15 ft.....is that possible?????
-- Edited by Just Toni on Wednesday 6th of January 2010 06:02:52 PM
Yes, yes, yes, and yes to all the things already listed.
I really appreciate the simple pleasures of everyday life, mostly the little things I was unable to notice before. I'm especially grateful for the joy of freedom. The "freedom from bondage" as it says in the BB.
Ahhhh!!! Joy!!! What a wonderful topic, and I might mention that to the afternoon meeting I am hitting tomorrow on my day off (oplease pray I do not have to get called in!! I need a meeting!)
Joy for me in recovery is being able to sit alone, in solitude, computer and t.v. and phone OFF, and be perfectly content in my own presence, in addition to knowing that my HP is there too. In active alcoholism, it was impossible for me to be alone with my own thoughts, without a drink. Either a drink, a drug or a man had to be occuppying my attention, lest God forbid I have to be aware of the damage and the regrets of my life. I don't have to hide behind, or bury myself in someone or something today. I can be aware and unafraid, without regret or guilt. Not because I am now perfect and never harm myself or anyone else, but because I have a tool for every regret and injury I might cause today. I have a way to be free of guilt, shame and remorse, and a plan and a design for lessening the amount of pain and injury I cause.
If I sit alone, and know today that I hurt someone, I can, in a matter of moments, share it with my sponsor, and attempt to right the wrong where possible. Then I can again capture that serenity and calm that once evaded my moments and years.
Talk about Joy, the joy of living!! I can LIVE now, LIVE happily and contented, no matter what is going on around me. It takes work, but the JOY is worth every bit.
x joni x
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
And from this I learn that joy also is the feeling of being fed after the feeling of need. When the student is ready the teachers arrive. Mahalo (((((hugs)))))
I believe there is joy in recovery. And that the amount of joy I will experience is based on my attitude. For a positive attitude keeps me happy, joyous and free just like our literature talks about. What a beautiful gift Ive been given ... sobriety. And thanks be to God and the life changing program of Alcoholics Anonymous I am happy on a regular basis these days
p.s. Louisa .. I could so relate to your winter wonderland story , thanks for sharing that and reminding me of the awesome beauty of all the seasons.
Toni...I used to scream all the time when I was drinking "Why does life have to be so complicated! I just want things to be simple." I cannot believe that the answer after a year and some in this program is clear to me. Life is just life and it can be simple. I just never had the coping skills, faith, and I was wrecking my brain and ability to cope by drinking. You are right, life can be simple. I was the problem and I was in the way between me achieving/recognizing simplicity. I even carried the chaos into sobriety for quite some time out of habit. So...yes...snippets of simplicity and serenity make me feel joyous. Plus, more shall be revealed!
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I have only been at this for 15 days, but in he midst of a fair amount of fear I am still finding joy in some simple things: sleeping well again, feeling pretty darn good when I wake up and talking more to those around me. That last one was unexpected. Drinking may have been more isolating than I had thought. This stuff is probably obvious to most of you, but it is a bit of joy to me.
On a separate note, thanks to each of you posting here. Reading your posts is quite helpful.
The joy of feeling content. My whole life, long before I picked up my first drink or drug, I always wanted to be somewhere other than where I was. Never realized that the actual place I was trying to escape was myself. Today, because of the miracle of AA and the 12 steps, Im content.
Hang with this family Azul as much as you can for support along with your AA meetings. Congradulations on your sober time. It is the most precious of gifts cause you get to have it and live at the same time. Welcome to the board...
