As many of you know I'm in early recovery and have had a hard time the last couple of months. Financial and legal problems, plus my dear wife's medical problems. Bless her heart-- she spent both her birthday and Christmas in the hospital this past month. Thank God she's pretty much OK now, but still disabled of course. I'm still unemployed and we've lost our home but haven't moved out yet. That's the hard part-- we do have a place to go, but it's out of town and we're stressed out over the move.
My character defects are alive and thriving. I've been dreading this move and putting off the inevitable chore of sorting out the junk we've hoarded and packing up what we need to take with us. My wife and I don't always agree on what is junk and what is needed. It would be a big job even if we did always agree. Now it's a matter of days before we are kicked out and my motivation to get going is even lower than ever.
I guess the reality is that I hate losing this house and I hate having to move away and subconsciously I'm in denial about the whole thing. Knowing that doesn't help. I gotta get my ass in gear but I feel like I'm in quicksand.
Incidentally, my sponsor is out of town dealing with family issues of his own. I have AA buddies willing to help me load the rental truck when we get to that point. I'm just having a hard time getting to that point.
Have you prayed about this and asked God for help ? He will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves, but He wont do for us what we can do for ourselves. Sounds like its time to stop the procrastination and get in gear, as tuff as that might be, your stuff isn't likely to get magically packed in boxes
Try to stay as positive as you can and be grateful for the AAers that are willing to come and help you
Hi, I guess your higher power knows you are durable enough to live through all the stuff going on. I have quite a few twenty fours going on and yet today when the stuff heaps up on me I also have a difficult time. I am not buying into the idea that I have a bad or weak program. I know that I do not suffer all that well. That is that...... If I do not drink or use dope I make it through the stuff. May not be pretty but I make it. I trust you can stumble your way through this also. God did not make a mistake with you.
Offering Prayers to you and your beloved wife, have known two people in the last year that have been there with losing their homes.
Unbelievable tough times, will keep you in my Prayers, that you both find some peace where you are going, and i sure understand that reluctance to pack you stuff......anyone would.
Praying that in the middle of this, you will really embrace the AA program, getting to many meetings, placing yourself in the deep middle of AA, and talking about this, it would surely help take some of the pain out of this, and help the most with keeping you Sober, one day at a time.
I started to ask about your sponsor, then remembered he is in the middle of some of his own stuff, do you have other friends to connect with, and talk to them....??
Just keep that venting going a lot, hope you will, and i will be thinking of you and as I mentioned, definitely keeping you in my Prayers, my dear friend.
Remember that you are Loved, by your HP, and by all the others here too, and please write often on the Board as well.
Oh yes, you certainly have my good thoughts and prayers. I might take it as an opportunity to get rid of stuff I did not want. I have tons of stuff to dump. I know moving is a pain and I feel your pain especially with the year you have had but the best of luck, get as much help as you can with it as this really lessens the hassle. I hope all goes well with you.
Jasper, I hate doing stuff I don't want to do and I'm the world's bissect prorastinator. My mom said I was 3 weeks late coming out and nothing has changed since.
I lost a house once...due to mental illness. Sucked. I got thruough it, though, and you will too. I just imagined that I met a lot of Jasper Kent's and of all of them...you're the one I'd trust with my back as we fought for our lives against a pack of hungry coyotes. Yhe other Jasper Kents? Soggy noodles in a dishdrain. Not you, man. Not You.
Hi Jasper, new to this board. When I read your post, I was thinking of my own dilemas right now and how I am "handling" them. Just when I think I am getting nowhere and nothing I do is working, I am reminded of my growth and how I deal with the big issues today. The other day, I was driving to the store with a friend and she was panicking about all the little things and it dawned on me, I don't do that anymore! I sat back and smirked (on the iniside of course) and was grateful. It sounds like you are coping well and sometimes that's all we can do. IG
Aloha JasperK and my feelings and prayers are with you and your spouse. This surely isn't a nice picture and I wouldn't be more than a smidgen willing much less happy about the situation either. Still you have support and "this too will pass". Tis okay to take it with small bites and with level thinking. It surely isn't that the lender has people camped out at their front door to get your house and having you in it might make them feel that they have the best "keeper" until you're gone. I've got a recovering friend in the same situation here who is negotiating that idea with the lender himself. I don't know how its working out but I'll check with him at our home meeting tomorrow morning and let you know...if it is workable for you also. Lenders aren't having too much of a hayday them selves...we're all in the pot together. Great you have backups. In support
Hello islandgirl and welcome to the board. Please make and introductory thread so that you can receive a proper welcoming from our regular members. Hang in there Jasper, it's always darkest before the dawn.
Hang in there Jasper, this difficult time will only be a memory soon, and you will wake up one day to find that it all was not so bad, and that you are satisfied and fulfilled, due to recovery.
((hugs))
joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
You are in my prayers. Just try and remember there is a lesson in everything. You don't necessarily need the house to be happy. You have each other still. Beyond that, you are still blessed and with us all to see how strong you can be. If you can handle all this sober, you (and therefore me) can do just about anything.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I was re reading and what Jerry wrote, I wanted to say that I know a woman that went into Foreclosure, well she got a notice of Default, and that she would be contacted, about the next step, it is in a State clear across the country, so she has lived there, payment free, for over 9 months. The courts are so backed up, like in years almost. Who Knows, But she was talking about negotiating the same thing Jerry's friend is doing, sending them letters, saying she will stay and show the house if they would like.
But on the character defects acting up, that is what I would look out for.
Jasper, there is that wonderful saying, "We don't drink, even if our Ass is falling off", right??? And we are also talking here completely about material things.
Get in close to the Program, and just walk through this Sober, I feel you have the Faith to do this, and on the other side of this Life on Life's Terms TEST, you will feel so very strenghtened by your Higher Power. Some of us have walked through some of those "oh my God, my ass is falling Off", but daily just Prayed to my HP whom I choose to call GOD, to just hold onto me and walk with me through this......
Hugs to you, and please do stay on the Board, vent all you want, and beware of any Resentments, the number one Offender.
This is not an AA saying, but never the less I really like it, "When the going get's tough, the Tough get going!"
Prayer will alway come when necessary. Think of it this way you and your wife have somewhere to go, and it just might be where God my need you most. Take your claws out of yesterday, and make beautiful footprints in the future! A must remind myself it's not always about me...I'am all I think about and then i get depressed.
God can't bless you if you don't do the footwork. Trust you H.P. and do what you can relax and take it easy! Hard to do, but you will find peace I'am sure of it!
-- Edited by tokengirl on Monday 4th of January 2010 10:12:30 PM
The good news is that we just found out we have a small reprieve. Because of Cindy's pneumonia, they're giving us another two weeks to get out. I believe that is doable. I don't feel quite so overwhelmed.
