What do you do when you have some (2-3 yrs.) sobriety and then later... feel you are stuck? Things are going good, yet life is not all that. People are crazy, and YET you aren't all that either. Too often a relapse...once it has happened... you can never seem to get sobriety back? Question is: What do you do before relapse happens? Where does that crazy thinking come from? How can one stop it? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Hello Janet! First it is good you are sharing your feelings and you are not alone we have all had feelings like this at some time or another. We all get "stuck"Our literatue tells us that 'we are never forced into relapse'We are given a choice,its never an accident.It is a sign that we have 'A RESERVATION IN OUR PROGRAM"We may begin to slight our program,become complacent,stop making meetings,not calling our sponsors or not being honest with what is really going on with us..Also if we are neglecting 12th step work or not getting involved our program stops!We can revert back to our sickest behaviors even if we are still sober.Our ability to remain open minded disappears.You can begin again by utilizing the basis of our spiritual principles our first three steps.. admit your powerlessness,you come to believe in a HP and make that decision to turn your will and your life over.Complaceny is the 'ENEMY"Make meetings,talk with another person in recovery(hopefully a sponsor)and "get back to work"Thanks for sharing from your heart,it is most important,keep comin back,hope to see you again!!
-- Edited by mikef on Monday 28th of December 2009 10:26:51 AM
__________________
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Aloha Janet...I have just done some real work on this one myself and I have 30+ years in recovery. What do you do when you first feel the trembles and the uneasies...do with more intensity what you did when you first got here. The object? don't drink and you don't have to go crazy over it and scramble all over the place with fear if for today you are not drinking. Fear is the number one emotional trip stone. Switch the feeling of fear over to the practice of caution and go find your starting point in recovery and come back into it without the booze. Steps 1 - 3...the "Trust God" steps are important. Then "Trust Sponsor" if you have one...if not get one this is a guided tour remember. Then "Trust the fellowship" which you have done here.
My recent work on my own sobriety and the power of the disease in my mind was with the difference between Submission and Surrender. Dr. Harry Tiebout in early AA was a real help to the program especially in the understanding of the difference between the subconcious mind and the conscious mind. On one level (conscious) you accept fully that you are alcoholic and can never (not will never) drink alcohol safely ever there is no residual struggle over the idea. On the subconscious level the mind is in doubt and that there will come a day when you can. You don't get to control the subconscious mind. It runs on its own program. You can find feedback on the subject of denial also.
I inventoried how and why I got into recovery and the roots of my denial where there and so my subconscious always had a doubt I was alcoholic.
The stuff MikeF offered are real deterrents to drinking in practice. When you practice the spiritual concepts of this program recovery; sobriety is lifted to higher levels and a sober life not only become desired and possible but a reality not to be lost for any means.
Hope this has helped. If you are kinda sorta maybe thinking you can have one or may be two safely do more work on your recovery and then think about it but not today.
What do you do when you have some (2-3 yrs.) sobriety and then later... feel you are stuck? Stuck where? In boredom? Complacency? Things are going good, yet life is not all that. Ahhhh, no excitement, no drama? Is this seriously what sobriety is all about??
People are crazy,Im either accepting the things (or people) I cannot change or working at changing the things or people I cannot or will not accept. and YET you aren't all that either. Hmmmm, really? You have 2-3 years sobriety and you have nothing to offer the newcomer? Have you done the steps? If so....wonderful, now get out and pass it on to somebody. If not, why not?
Too often a relapse...once it has happened... you can never seem to get sobriety back? Oooooohhhhh, slippery slope here. Are you contemplating relapse? Even a tiny bit? I knew a gal who had a little "slip" just last week.....27 years old and she slipped right into grave. Question is: What do you do before relapse happens?In my experience, the before-the-actual-drinking what happens is our insane thinking returns. We start justifying and rationalizing our poor behaviour. We quit talking to our AA friends. We become less and less transparent in meetings. We become apathetic telling ourselves nothing matters, sobriety sucks. We focus on other people that drive us crazy and cause resentments. We may even get nit-picky with our sposor, not talking to them or letting them in on our thoughts. Where does that crazy thinking come from?From the "committee of idiots" that lives in our brain. My disease is active...all the time, waiting in the parking lot for me doing push-ups, wanting me to join the insanity again. How can one stop it?By bending down and picking up the simple kit of spiritual tools that have been laid at your feet. By going to meetings and sharing in an honest, vulnerable and transparent way. By telling your sponsor exactly what you told us here. By working with another alcoholic who could benefit from your experience.And by getting down on your knees and asking the God of your understanding for guidance and direction. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Hi Janet, great topic! First thing that came to mind is fellowship. If you're feeling like the Lone Ranger then it's time to get more involved with the fellowship. Once I comitted to making friends and engaging them in activities my recovery took on a life of it's own. As alcoholics we are accustomed to being stimulated. To a certain extent we need to learn to be still, learn to enjoy our own company, learn to be a homebody, but we also need to find balance and get out and challange ourselves with new activities, adventures, and friends. This time of year is tough with winter and all. Remember that everthing is new in sobriety. We can engage in activities that used to bore and find a whole new enthusiasm for it. Usually the simplist things like riding a bike, taking a hike, ice skating, animal watching, but also games with others like bowling where the emphasis is more on social then the competition.
Second thing (which should have been first) is excercise. Excercise is the number one treatment for depression, and would certainly lift the spirits of anyone. It releases endorphins, raises the metabolism, reverses aging, release human growth hormone for healing and anti aging. So many things that combine exercise and fun beside just working out. This year I did a kick boxing class and am starting a yoga class when I get back from skiing.
