I rarely bring this up at meetings... 1. I don't want to send the wrong message about meeting attendance. 2. Cross talk has been negative.
Over the years of my sobriety, I have attended meetings in different patterns. When I started I made 90 in 90 then attended 1-2 per week for a year. After my first year, with wife, toddler and and baby on the way I started attending 5-7 meetings a week for for several years in a row. Around my 7th year of sobriety, the meeting pattern became 2-3 per week and carried on for several more years.
My attendance became sporadic around the 11th year. Primarily, the family obligations with children activites pulled me in many directions and created time restraints.
So, for the last several years my meeting attendance has been 2-3 meetings a month. I have connection with HP and Prayer and Meditation is in my life. I am in contact with AA friends.
Without all together stopping meetings and having the belief that AA helped me get sober and stay sober, Is a meeting pattern of 2-3 per month terrible?
-- Edited by jab on Tuesday 22nd of December 2009 10:30:23 AM
Howdy, I sobered up in a small town. One meeting a week was all they had. So I had to use the books in between. I was an unsavory,vulgar, scumbag, and the meeting was full of suits. No one could relate to my bottom. So the books became my sponser. I wore out quite a few books. Later in recovery I moved to where there were many meetings. So I tried more than one a week. Messed me up. It was like way to much information. I came to accept that my dependence on my one meeting a week hooked up with my Higher Power and the books was just fine. If it ain't broke don't fix it. Toad .
If it works for you, if you know and are willing to do more when you need to....has any one of us got sober to spend our lives in meetings day after day after day?
3 years in I believe I got sober to live out there. I do maybe 4 meetings a week just now. Sometimes 3. I travel a lot and always know where the meetings are, but I don't always go. I will go to a meeting on Christmas night and New Years Night. I might not need them but they were there for me when I did need them so I'll be there to help them be there for others.
I hear tales from teh long timers about 1 meeting a week in a place where there are maybe 20 a week now. about travelling for a couple of hours on buses to get to that meeting 'cos there were no meetings closer. If they could do it, so can I, but the difference is they had to make do with what they had whereas I have a riches of meetings.
But for me, if I need a meeting, then I'm bloody well going and stuff everything else, 'cos If I drink then I'm no use to man nor beast and everything goes down the toilet again.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Everyone's needs are different. Some people make a life out AA and are very active there. Others get sober 10 years or more and their life gets very full with family and business, hobbies, vacations... and less meetings work just fine. It's the daily routines related to your spiritual program that make the difference. A couple meetings a month are all that I get to. Sometimes a couple months pass and I haven't been to one. But I do maintain a sponsor (same one for 7 years now) we've been friends in AA for 16 years. I've got a several AA friends that I speak to on the phone weekly, then there is my mother (34 years sober) that I speak to weekly, and then there's this place that I spend an hour or two on. So it's all in how you work it. Jab, I have felt guilty in the past and I got over it.
Aloha Jab. I hqad to make the progam my life in order to get and stay sober, have peace of mind and serenity and get my sanity back. What I knew before the program was...alcoholism. I was sick and my life was sick when I got here and this is what has worked for me. Where I came from didn't. What I learned in the Military (lol) didn't. The boy scouts, altar boys, and all the other programs didn't work. The program is how and what I live today and meetings are just a part of that. How I learned to live sober and spritually came from other sober drunks out of the rooms of AA and also from the train wreck family members in Al-Anon. These are my family. Some times I see them in public and we have a great admiration for each other. I always get to see them in meetings and that is also where I do service back to the program. I agree that what works for you is what you ought do. I do know what happens so often when the in between meetings times stretches out longer. In my history with program I have co-founded several meetings and one is now my home group. That meetings is rarely a miss for me and its only one of several each week.
If a few meetings a month works for you, that is okay for you. Each person in AA is different.
Im wondering does any of these few meetings include service work to your home group ? Or maybe you are in an area that new ppl to Ones with 1-5 yrs or so are handling the service area's.
For my first year 6 months of sobriety I went to almost a meeting a day. Then because of work & family I couldn't go that much and it was okay with me. Today with a little over 5 yrs sober I go about 2 times a week and I am comfortable with this.
When I was about 2 yrs sober my sponsor told me that it should be God, Family .... then AA , and in that order. This has worked for me and Im happier than Ive ever been on a regular basis today.
I have a home group that I am secretary/treasurer, and GSR for. I attend several workshops thruought the the year. I attend monthly district meetings. I am most usually on the phone anywhere from 2-5 hours a week with sponsee's. And at least 10-15 hours a week on the internet with AA recovery.
When I pray and ask for Gods guidance , He most generally lets me know what direction to take
Hey Jab!Merry Christmas...yes we are all responsible for our own recoveries and "working ' the process.It must work for you.I will say though if you are questioning 'is it enough" then maybe for you now its not??only you know that for sure!!!....I know for me I not only attend as often as I can for my recovery but also to 'give back" by sharing and doing what service I can and by being part of our 5th tradition...I spent over 22 years not making meetings,still clean/sober but not 'working recovery"was a BIG difference for me!!The progression of recovery is a continuous uphill journey,without effort we start down the hill again,the progression of the disease is ongoing even when we are abstinent!(for me this is very valuable knowledge)I would just suggest you continue to incorporate our third and eleventh step in your daily life and "wait' on the answer and I believe it will be forthcoming...Nice meeting you and I wish you peace
-- Edited by mikef on Thursday 24th of December 2009 10:36:01 AM
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
I would say it's probably all good unless....you feel something missing and were happier during the times you attended more meetings or if you feel like you are moving towards a drink. Beyond that, I do think the purpose of recovery is to have a life, but to never move totally away from AA...which you havent. For me, it is way too early on to cut back on meetings. In year 2 I am at 6 meetings a week still most of the time. I have been trying to be "a part of" and be encouraging to others on this board, but only recently have I gained any ability to really help others in person (in AA that is). Prior, it was mostly about me being a newcomer and just making it to a year and saving my own ass.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Sodding hell!!! These posts suggest that if it works for YOU, then carry on, BUT - just ONE question - You say you stay in touch with other AA's, but are they NEWCOMERS?? We get newcomers to 2 of our regular meetings, and of course THEY need to hear the ES&H from longterm sober members.
I know it does say that this is a selfish programme, but I don't think it means THAT selfish that someone who got sober, by the Grace of God and the fellowship of AA, now just does casual meetings when it is right for THEM.
MY life (after 19+years sober) doesn't revolve around AA, BUT AA does very much revolve around my life. I do 2 meetings a week, minimum, and also do Public Information service. If all the oldtimers reached a point where they could manage on a couple or three meetings monthly, where in the hell would we all be?
With that kinda phillosophy, AA would go to hell in a hand basket.
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Serenity is Wanting what you have, not having what you want
Always remember non-alcoholic beers are for NON-ALCOHOLICS
on different levels, then yes if a person can make it ok on a meeting a month, that's OK for them. But where's the paying it forward element.
there were meetings there for me wjhen I needed them - without a commitment to repay the efforts of others by being there for others, then the fellowship wil shrink and maybe fail, but for me the biggie is I might forget what I owe, where I could go, where I've been and what I've seen.
we do need to be there for the newcomer, in the background but available when needed.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
