Since I finally decided to become sober and stay sober 01/15/08, I have had the best 2 years almost of my whole life it seems. Sure there were times in my life where I did not drink. I drank off and on just for fun in the beginning and settled down when I became pregnant and all was good for a while. I'm not sure what triggered my drinking so heavily and I could sit and ponder that idea forever, blaming this one and that for my failures but ultimaly the choices were all mine. In may of 2008, I enrolled in school, trying to fill the void of the loss of my friend in the bottle and tried to find peace in AA and in my family and for the most part have accomplished everything that I have set my mind to. I have passed all my classes, went through all the 12 steps. I dont get to make much meetings any more but do try and get there as often as possible. The worst thing so far or I guess the most humbling/hurtful thing that has happened recently is that I made a "D' in one of my major classes and that hit me like a ton of brickes. I was defeated and of course I could not get my way(wow) imagine that. Anyway I guess the main thing for me is that stepping back and being able to take a glance at what I did wrong, the work load I was carring was to great and to be able to realize that today and to be able to move on and jump right back on that horse is a wonderful feeling. I can't be beat down anymore, I stand tall, I am proud of me, and my family is so very proud of me. I just wanted to share this with you guys because maybe someone out there (even if this sounds trivial to some) may help them to understand that this program is a program of growing, learning, baby steps for some, leaps and bonds for others. I love this program. I love being able to share to all of you. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and an amazing new year to come. I have grown so much and can not thank all of you enough for the posts that I get to read, because they help me get through situations when needed. Thanks for listening. -Carla
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Don't tell God how big your storm is, tell the storm how big your God is!
Yes, D's can be hard to take, when I was drinking however, I was not even submitting the work that I needed to do, I was so fortunate that I stopped when I did and my supervisor really gave me another chance, well done you, an inspiration to me at this time, I am just five month sober.
Wow.. Sting.. I know that must have hurt but you know Carla I'm proud & pleased with you coming here & sharing your humility with us. Great attitude & putting AA into practice. You show us, Lady!!! Getting back up & learning from your experiences. That's brilliant. Thank you for coming by. Great to see you here. Short & sweet. Now.. Back to the grindstone with you, dear sister. Recovering Love! Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Great share, Carla, thank you love. Yeah, it's good to be reminded that stopping drinking and working a 12-step programme doesn't make me more intelligent, richer, slimmer, more attractive etc. etc. but eventually it MIGHT help me to STOP setting myself up for failure by trying to do TOO MUCH at one time. OH BOY, do I ever identify with THAT!!!
My first sponsor had me write out a 'things to do' list DAILY, and I had to let her know each day what was on the list. Her reaction? 'OH MY GOD!!! That's not a 'to do today' that's a 'Things I'd like to do before I die' and believe me girl, even if you live to be ONE HUNDRED, you'd be unlikely to do it!'
Keep it simple, make a SHORT list of things you need to do TODAY, and if you don't manage to do everything on it, Carry it forward to tomorrow!!!
As Alexander the meerkat would say, 'SIMPLES'
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Serenity is Wanting what you have, not having what you want
Always remember non-alcoholic beers are for NON-ALCOHOLICS
