June 20 The problem of resolving fear has two aspects. We shall have to try for all the freedom from fear that is possible for us to attain . Then we shall need to find both the courage and grace to deal constructively with whatever fears remain. As Bill Sees It p. 61
Most of my decisions were based on fear. Alcohol made life easier to face , but the time came when alcohol was no longer an alternative to fear. One of the greatests gifts in A.A. for me has been the courage to take action, which I can do with God's help.After five years of sobriety I had to deal with a heavy dose of fear. God put the people in my life to help me do that and , through my working the Twelve Steps, I am becoming the whole person I wish to be and , for that, I am deeply grateful. Daily Reflections p.180
Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."
This is one emotion I don't miss. My drinking "daze" was one of constant fear. I feared the morning, the shakes, the withdrawals... I feared walking outside, waiting to be shot by an angry husband. I wasn't a reliable employee, I feared getting fired. I feared phone calls from bill collectors or ladies I couldn't remember. I feared what I did during numerous blackouts.
Fear left when drinking stopped. When the fog lifted... the stories stopped and honesty came into play. It was a wonderful feeling, to walk out the door and not look over my shoulder. It was super to FEEL like a good reliable employee. And it was spiritual to realize there are boundaries which should never be crossed.
I'm not arrogant when I say I don't fear - fear. I have a deep respect for it, but it no longer runs my life. It has a place, just not in my daily routine...