Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. I'm all of those things today. Ive eaten a handful of ritz crackers and some coffee. Not the wisest choice but I just dont feel energetic enough to make myself something. Angry....heck yeah! Hubby is working, yet again. Most days I am able to keep my hands off his program and mind my own....but today Im peeved. He is substituting with work and he works so many hours that when he gets home he drops into bed exsausted and has no energy for home-life or AA meetings. He runs his own business so he is able to determine how many hours he works....money isnt an issue so he has no need to work like this. He isnt pulling his weight at home and Im refusing to pick up after a grown man, although that makes me crazy because now the house is a stinking mess. Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Lonely....yup. See above. Tired....yes. No physically, but emotionally tired. Tired of bringing this up to him only to have him say, "Yes I know...you are right....I'll slow down, I'll make changes." And within a month we have the same argument all over again. Insanity seems to be having the same argument over and over and expecting different results. Whats off here? My expectations? Am I wrong to have any? I think its normal and healthy to express your frustrations in a relationship and want the other person to step up and willingly do certain things for the comfort of the other. Simple things like pick up your dirty clothes....put away the laundry I washed for you....take your dirty dishes to the sink. Make the relationship a priority damnit! Ah...I fear I am well on my way to having a fat stinking resentment.
You suggested it to me in earlier support sister so let me suggest in return. Cross the hallway into the other room and check out the ESH there. Its a different perspective of the garden. (((hugs)))
Julie, Thank you for sharing your stuggles with us. I've been there and continue to be there. My sponsor reminds me that it's god way of trying our patience and tolerance. I try to look at my part in my resentment and see if there something that I can change in me. Easier said than done. I typically need to talk with someone about these issues- my sponsor or friends in the program. Than I try to do the next right thing and turn the results over to god. The serenity prayer is something I use too. Accept the things we can't change...... Keep sharing please... Hope today is better for YOU.
