Dear all, Last week, I hit my first deadline in three years, which would not have been possible had I not given up the booze and all the procrastination which went with my alcoholism. I'm not sure how good the work is but it got completed and for this I am truly grateful. On a family issue, a niece has made contact and visited from australia, unfortunately we did not realise that her father is a chronic alcoholic who split when she was quite young. I found it very sad. I was honest about my own alcoholism and explained to her that I felt it was a disease and very cunning and baffling. I am not sure she understood. I went to a meeting today and met with my sponsor and I told her I was devastated, how many lives has this awful disease destroyed. I feel truly blessed that I was lucky enough to get in when I did, I really do not know how I came to the realisation that I needed meetings and needed help. Definitely, my hp looked out for me, over the last five months. I am still on a rocky slope at time, and very prone to cravings, I have started swimming again which helps, but sometimes it worries me because everyone else seems to lose these cravings very early on, I know it stems from the fact that I avoid painful issues, and thought that drink alleviated them, it did not,
Good going LM...Thanks for the update...Having gratitude for my own recovery and compassion for the losses of others use to be a bit tricky but with the program, steps, slogans and more it is doable. Keep coming back..
No, I enjoy the steps, though am only finished two, but am very open to them but I find it hard to accept the damage that alcoholism does, though at times it is very obvious to me and I think I tend to bury my head in the sand sometimes,
It is promised we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will know happiness & we will be free. This is true to my experience. We have a spiritual awakening as The Result of working the steps. Keep on keeping on. You will find there's nowhere & you don't need to hide. Pain is the touchstone of progress & is matched in joy by equal measure. You don't have to take forever with the steps. I noticed a vast improvement in the quality of my life the harder I worked on them & now enjoy stability. It gets better :) Love, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Earlier on, I didn't want to drink and I didn't find myself craving alcohol so much as any kind of escape from my chaotic and anxious thoughts. I just wanted to check out...or possibly as you say, bury my head in the sand. This is normal I think Lorna and, over time you will find more serenity through just living through and conquering obstacles sober. Also you will find peace as stated in the promises when you truly are able to focus on a higher power outside yourself and then hand over the chaos and daily drama. One phenomenon that seem so common in early sobriety is making chaos where there is none. I did this cuz I was used to it and clung to it. It takes a long time and hard work to change it. Sometimes it is painful, but sometimes it is amazing. Keep on trucking Lorna. Don't doubt yourself, you are growing in the right direction, even if times seem tough. Love,
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
