Was thinking or perhaps feeling more just how much the 12 Steps can become so intrisic in our little lives.
Was feeling so very humbly grateful for each and ever one, when we have any problem that life shows us, from our own part or from outside sources.
Yesterday, I was trying to get ahold of a very dear neighbor, a good friend, I had some food that I needed to get to him, it had been way too much for me, and he loves my cooking.
Anyway, when I did not see his van in his driveway, he always tells me if he will be gone over night, ok, going to go directly to what I am trying to say this morning. When I called another neighbor to see if he knew if had gone away over night, he said Oh My God, didn't anyone tell you that he was in the Zacuzzi, and passed away, from causes unknown.....
It was like shock to my system, felt so winded, and then after taking a few calls regarding this situation, got real silent, and stopped the noise, turned off my phone, and immediate went to Step 11, and made a decision to stay IN that Beloved Step for the rest of the day.
And when I spoke of the AWESOME POWER of these amazing Steps, realized, that the Steps in my life, have actually altered my own intuition. Having your own intrisic intuition altered must surely have something to do with GOD interceding in All our affairs and in every aspect of how we do our little lives, well I am speaking of just my own.
I will miss my beloved friend, and what stood out over that was the deepest humbleness to GOD. Always Present, and Always watching and if we just Turn to HIM, can feel that amazing Presence.
Ok, that's it, hope this made some sense, just had to get it out this morning.
Humbly, Toni
-- Edited by Just Toni on Sunday 6th of December 2009 11:48:04 AM
Dang Toni, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I hope he had a full and rich life in the manner that his passing was not something so tragic, but just part of the life cycle. It sounds like you made a difference in his life in a great way and that is also the 12 steps in action for you. Helping others when before when we were using and drinking we (or rather I) didn't give a crap about anyone but me....even though I thought I cared about others, I really wasn't able to do it in the way you described which is just giving of yourself without expectations of reward. Prayers go out to you in grieving your loss, but also gratitude for being the person you are.
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Prayers sent your way Toni and to your friend. Loss is hard on us. I've recently been to two wakes myself for deaths from natural causes and they both had kids my kids age. Both of them gave more than they got. Active in the community and with their kids. It was nice to be able to use my HP(God) to help me through them. It was also nice to have true feelings and not run(drink) from them. A gift of this program.
Sounds like your a great neighbor and friend. Nice to see you back active on the board.
Both of them gave more than they got. Active in the community and with their kids. It was nice to be able to use my HP(God) to help me through them. It was also nice to have true feelings and not run(drink) from them. A gift of this program.