Howdy, "I am thinkin' that when someone makes it thier business to bring out all of your flaws, it only means they have deeper darker secrets they are hiding. Sad thing is they forget one day it will all come back and bite them." I have some vivid bite marks left.
When someone else brings out all your "deepest, darkest flaws", they probably don't know the half of them, like we know about ourselves, so walk on by,,, whatever reasons they have for doing it, I know that people who do mean stuff are usually not doing it because THEY feel happy and content with their own lives.... why would anyone happy and content bother with such a thing? So, consider the source, and whatever the inner pain they are experiencing that leads them to do such a tasteless thing.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
That reminds me of when I found out I wasn't such a hot topic of conversation after all. When I was being talked about there wasn't much of an audience seated. LOL How humbling is that.
This reminds me of one of my favorites..."When someone Hurts You".......".IT is on THEM".......
Some young man said that truth to me when I was talking about the pain of being hurt by a trusted friend, and it took a while for me to understand......the truth in that statement
Well I could see in hindsight, always 20/20 that I was not staying in the Topic. I know, it really does not matter.
But when I read your last note, it made me think of something that was actually created by yours truly........many years ago I had that problem, that was a long time ago, what brought it to a screatching halt was this saying, I put before or immediately as I was creating any judgment of any other person, "A Judgement of another is a Prison that I have created for myself".
Howdy, Well Toni , This alky and his Al Anon created a real good prison for themselves. The Judgemental spirit created a new Monster. Self Rightousness. Which was "cunning, baffeling and powerful" in it's presence. We did not know it was happening or that we were making decisions based on it. AS the result my caring bride turned into a mean care giver in her nursing career and got caught on tape and was FIRED. And is being reported the the State Board of Nursing. Now at 60 years old with all the promises offered by this wonderful program we together get to face all the shame, fears of going broke, and so on and on. As she has been the money maker for the last 10 years my shame guilt and remorse is strong. By actively joining in with this strange "putting others down to make my self feel better" thing I have a degree of responsibility in our mess. I own it . All my recovery I have freely confessed my stuff. In the spirit of "if they have the have the capicity to be honest". So I once again do what has worked for me. Obviously I am very much still a work in progress. My sobriety is holding fast in that I ask for the gift of it each day. Drinking, drugging cannot make this any easier to bear. Truely a new understanding of this being a family disease is reaching me. We do affect each other. We affect each other on this site. The program is strong. The Grace offered is real. We hold fast. Bill W. once wrote he believed we were more brothers and sisters in our defects than in our virtues.
And so it goes, Toad
-- Edited by Toad on Friday 4th of December 2009 04:50:43 PM
There is something so very wrong with making assumptions, I was assuming you were referring to some past stuff.
So very sorry to hear about your wife lossing her job.
Just Trust in HIS GRACE, it is always there.
Please do let us know how you are doing, always, not there is ever a good time for this to happen, but in this time of year....not going to finish this sentence..... I will say a Prayer for you and for your wife, everyday. Prayers now going up.
We live and we learn from our mistakes, we are only human, no halos have been seen around here, right.
You have such a wonderful and sound recovery in you, maybe a good time to work the Steps again, think I might be starting to do the same. Always makes us feel so much better, and cleansed.
Love and Hugs to you and your dear wife too.
Your Bud, Tonicakes
-- Edited by Just Toni on Friday 4th of December 2009 05:06:52 PM
Hi, This is the first time we have worked the steps together. It was the fourth step the revealed the hidden monster. Together the fifth step, let us back to forgivness and Grace. I freely cry as I type. No way to describe our gratitude to this program.
