I BEEN FIGHTING IT FOR 2 WEEKS NOW AND I AM JUST BORED AND FUSTRATED... I AM BORED IN MY DARK ROOM GOING CRAZY AND MY FRIENDS TXT ME ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN THEY ARE HAVING DOSENT MAKE IT ANY BETTER ALSO MY " GIRLFRIEND '' DOES NOT HELP IF ANYTHING SHE MAKES ME MORE PISSED OFF
I understand the boredom. It's my trigger. If the GF is and issue, what about eliminating the boredom with a new GF? Just a suggestion. I've been married for 15 years and I know both issues, it's tough. Hang in there. You have to do it for you.
Charlie: ditto Carla's question above. AA meetings are key for all of us. In meetings you will find some new sober friends, and relief from your boredom in a safe environment. Call the A.A. hotline in your area and reach out for some help. If you are an alcoholic, a drink will not help the situation. Do you really want to "come to" with a hangover, remorse, guilt and shame?
No doubt. Hit an AA meeting. 99.9 percent of the time I feel better afterwards. I was told when I came into AA...What do you have to change to get sober? Everything. That has mostly held true as my old ways of thinking, the old places I used to go, the old friends I used to have, the old relationship I was in no longer worked for me. To that end, I hang out with sober people now, don't go to bars, don't care to go to bars, don't feel like I'm missing a damn thing because I often have had a great night out with AA friends. If this is not the case, I have meetings and I get to tap into real life and connect with others and what they are going through while sharing my own feelings. I learn how to live and not how to escape life through partying and recklessness. The fun that people have in bars and clubs is great...for them. I long ago reached the point where it wasn't fun for me. It was tragic. I'm not perfect...still got plenty of issues...but the amount of serentity I have largely comes from the above changes that I did make.
Mark
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You sound like you're "white knuckling it"...holding on tight without help or support from other recovering people and looking for reasons to go back out. I agree with the meeting attendance and sober fellowship and then you really gotta want it. None of the other "stuff" is justification for a drink for me today. Meeting this morning was great and the one tomorrow morning is "home" for me. May I suggest you find a "home" meeting to attend regularly before you take the next drink.
Your inner-alkie is trying like hell to have it's way with you. You don't have to drink. Pray some thanks. Meditate on nothing but your breath. Go to sleep. Put this day to bed.
Action, working on a specific program of recovery, by doing something in reference to the advice of others helped me focus on something other than boredom, which was my biggest fear in early recovery. It can be hard. I will say that I am never bored in meetings. I made a point of avoiding contact with people out partying and stayed in touch with sober people, primarily here and with my sponsor. Now I have more fun sober. Never would have thunk it. Life is amazingly better and get's more so all the time. I hope it is the same for you. Sincerely, Angelov
If you want to drink, that's your business, If you want to STOP drinking, that's OUR business. As Carla said earliry - How about that meeting? Have you been to one yet? If not call your local helpline number DO IT NOW!!
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Serenity is Wanting what you have, not having what you want
Always remember non-alcoholic beers are for NON-ALCOHOLICS
I ENDED UP FORCING MYSELF TO SLEEP.... YEA I KNOW I WANT TO QUIT BUT ITS REALLY HARD TOO I CANT GET NEW FRIENDS BECAUSE MOST OF THE PEOPLE I HANG WITH ARE FAM MEMBERS ... BUT THANKS GOD I AM STILL SOBER..
way to go charlie! My experience is that "white-knuckling it" only works for so long though. The only times in my life when I had consecutive weeks or months without a drink was when I was using the tools of AA- meetings, sponsor, prayer, steps. Take care.
-- Edited by Dodsworth on Sunday 8th of November 2009 05:24:45 PM
The family member thing is difficult too charlie..wow. The thing about that is that alcoholism is genetic, so I'm guess you really aren't the only one that drinks a whole lot in the family. There may be some others that want to stop like you and just don't see how. While it is a day at a time program, if you can flash forward just a bit to a happy and sober you after some time has passed....one or a couple of your family members may want to follow suit. I can't say it will happen but I just know from experience that some of them are going to want what you have if you stay sober and in AA. Of course that's not your primary purpose in being sober, but it might help to think about when you feel some pressure from them.
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thanks for the advice going on my 3rd week now.. Sunday i had a beer in my hand but i put it down i seen how stupid people where acting... hope i make it...
The chances of you "making it" are directly tied to the effort you are putting into AA. Do you have a sponsor? Things like picking up a beer and pondering it would be something to discuss with your sponsor so that doesn't happen again. I applaud that you didn't drink it, but you have to think and be careful because next time might be the time that the drink actually goes to your lips. Working step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable. If you truly believe that, in early sobriety, having a beer in your hand and pondering it is like tossing around a live grenade. Evaluate where you were, what tripped off the thought that you should drink, possibly avoid that situation again if you can, share about it in meetings, make sober friends in AA and hang more with them....all things that helped me personally. Going to 90 meetings in 90 days is recommended at the start because it is the most touch and go period (though relapse can and does happen for people at any time). For a year, my life became more about AA than anything else....even though I ventured and did some other things. That is what I needed for me to get sober. Having built up just a little bit of time...just gotta do the same things to stay sober basically....but now it's much easier cuz it's a habit...like autodrive.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I see your desire to stay sober, Charlie & it is heartening. This is a no messing disease. We do whatever it takes to stay sober because that first drink is just never worth it plus I always remind myself it could be my last. I know there is no guarantee I could come round from it. Drink is poison for this alcoholic & I do not want to risk dying any kind of alcoholic death whether that be a lethal bang to my head, choking on my sick before I wake or succumbing to the mental obsession after refusing to put in the work.
Everyday in my early recovery was an effort to immerse myself in the fellowship & tools of AA & my ego willed to resist it when it could. I kept faith in my Higher Power & today this helps in my investment & defense against that first drink. Today I do not have to drink & I am enjoying the business & stimulation in living. This will come for you too. Keep on putting your work in & it gets easier. You're not alone, Charlie. We do this together & your understanding in your own Higher Power will come too. Keep up your faith. Godbless, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
