I live in Florida and my entire family lives in Maryland. My parents did not know how bad things had gotten with my drinking because I hid most of it from them. They were not the ones I called to say I was going to kill myself. They were not the ones who saw me staggering every night. I certainly talked to them drunk a number of times and can't believe they didn't catch on to things then. They did know when I split my head and had to go to the hospital but I lied and said it was not a drunken thing. I only came clean with them after I crashed my car and started going to AA. Anyhow, they knew my 1 year anniversary was coming up. I am still not so great about regularly going to my mailbox to check my mail, as I pay most bills by phone or on the computer... There was a card from my parents in the mailbox that said "Congratulations, We are proud of you! What an accomplishment!" I didn't think they got the whole AA thing. I cried when I saw the card and I am crying writing about this now. I didn't expect it. I guess they did notice that they haven't had to continuously bail me out of financial jams, go through others to get me to do anything, and that I have pretty much taken care of myself for an entire year... My mom doesn't constantly nag me about things I need to take care of cuz I already do them for the most part. It's just a start, but my parents are not my enablers any more and the card kinda hit that home. I do not want to go back to that with all my heart... I suppose further stepwork will help me get over the crap I put them through by refusing to grow up for so long.
Mark
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
AWW MARK!!! Thank you so much for sharing this with us, you got ME crying now too!!! WOW, I am so happy for you darling. And CONGRATS on your first year.
__________________
Serenity is Wanting what you have, not having what you want
Always remember non-alcoholic beers are for NON-ALCOHOLICS
I've hit a plateau. I have 10 months and haven't drank but have stopped going to meetings because I had problems with my sponsor (and various other excuses). I feel alone right now and pray every day to stay sober. However, I know I will re-introduce myself to alcohol if I don't return to meetings. I'm in a quandary because the anger/depression is keeping me from going back and enables me to isolate so I do not make calls. This web site has become my connection. It's a lifesaver.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It's a reminder for me that I can go back to the angry, hostile and reckless drunk that I was. Or I can choose sobriety and a relationship with a Higher Power. It's up to me. Keep going to mtgs! You sound great...
Wow Mark, that is really, really nice. You are so blessed to have your family still in your life. they havent written you off cuz of your past. Im assuming you have made ammends to them if they are due ?
I know ppl and have heard shares at meetings where some drunks dont get their families back. So, you are very fortunate !
Congratulations on staying sober for a whole year , woohoo, good for you ! Keep up the good work.
Mark, thanks for your share. Congrats on the year -- sounds like the promises are being fulfilled for you. By sharing, you're reminding me and other newcomers, I am sure, that it works if we work it. And it will help to keep me out of the pub today.
Yaaaaay Mark's parents, adn yaaaay Mark!!! That is awesome, and definitely worth a sprinkling of "tears o' joy"!!!!
Just keep on doing what you've been doing for OVER A YEAR NOW, 24 hours at a time, one minute at a time, one argument at a time, one laugh and one hug at a time!! Ain't it GREAT to be sober?????
:o)
(((((hugs))))) Joni
__________________
~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Thats great Mark, Thanks for sharing. In NE Ohio they call that "clipping a coupon", meaning positive things that have happened as a result of soberiety other than the promises.
Just wanted to share that my mother never missed sending me a anniversary card for 22 years. Year 23, upon visiting her, she was very sick with cancer and was upset because she couldn't make it out to buy a card, I was just amazed she remembered, she passed a couple of months later.
I know she was really proud that I had turned my life around and was trying to help others, what a great gift.
__________________
Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Wow, Mark, my eyes welled up with tears too. I have watched you take your recovery so seriously in the months I've been coming here. Congratulations on a YEAR! It reminded me of earlier today when I was thinking how my mom hasn't mentioned a word about my sobriety since the first time I told her about it. She noted changes at that time. I had left her a pamphlet about AA to read, because it felt right at the time. (so she might better understand what I am going through) I was feeling miffed that she's never brought it up again. Your post reminds me that people do notice the profound changes in us when we work for it. In after thought it's probably better that she's not commenting on my program of recovery, because in all honesty her approval means a lot to me. It's better to sit back, work things out with the support of the program and be grateful rather than expectant when it comes to congratulations.
I am very lucky they didn't write me off. I know that their enabling had a role in this, but I have never blamed my parents for anything that I am. I did make some amends right off the bat and sort of throughout the year. Like when my mom would call to see if I did certain things and I'd tell her "I got that mom. You don't have to worry." In terms of right off the bat...that came in the form of "I'm so sorry, I screwed up my life again. I'm an alcoholic and here I am asking you guys for help yet again." No step 4 yet, let alone step 9....I am going to get there eventually. Thanks guys for the responses.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Nice share Mark. I remember my father (a practicing alcoholic at the time) going to my first 3 anni celebrations. I asked him to go and he went. I'm working on trying to see my father (deceased) in a more positive light. Enjoy your parents, you won't have them forever.
Mark, Thank you so much for the share. Your an inspiration! I made direct amends to my father (Step 9) about a year ago and it felt great. He's an alcoholic and left the family when I was 4. I was angry and had a resentment for years. He came back into my life at age 12 sober but never did the steps and doesn't pursue AA today. He just made amends to me a few months back. He was sick and fearful that he was dying. I believe fear was the motivator not AA... Another example of the program working in peoples life's who work it.... and those that don't.
Please continue to come here and help keep us sober.
