I am in my mid 20's and have decided i need to take a look at AA. This is my first post. I'm not really sure if I need to go to meetings or not yet and thought maybe the online atmosphere might be helpful. I have for almost 10 years been the "life of the party" among friends. While, I don't have an issue with how often I drink, I have recognized I have a severe problem with consuming too much when I do. Almost a year ago I was arrested for Public Intoxication and a few years before that I wrecked a car while drunk. (No charges were filed on that incident) Lately I feel terrible when I drink, both emotionally and physically...usually very disappointed in my decision. Anyways, I am ready to accept I cannot be a social drinker or a drinker of any sort for that matter. Does anyone have some advice for me as a newbie? Also, any others in there 20's that might have things in common?
Hi Braggheim, Get yourself to a meeting asap! It will only get worse! Don't wait like I did until it was uncontrollable. I felt so much better after I attended my first meeting 10 months ago, your pattern mirrors mine except I waited until I had been hospitalized with alcholic poisoning. Save yourself the pain of withdrawel, depression, guilt and hurting the ones closest to you. Please go to a meeting!
Aloha Braggheim Without question I believe that everyone will relate even those who are just lurking the site. I'm glad you announced and had the first courage to trust MIP. I was 9 years without a drink before proper attendance of AA on a regular basis. I was in Al-Anon for those 9 years as I still am and practiced the same 12 steps and traditions, slogans and the like which helped me get thru the life affect of being born and raised with the disease and marrying that type of spouse. Keep coming back and remember those who are in meetings have tons of sober support. Out side of AA meetings you only have your own thinking and experience which needs to reach the first step. "Admitted I was powerless over alcohol and that my life has become unmanagable." That worked better for me as a member of a group rather than alone. I always drank with me and usually alone. No help there.
A few things you wrote about, 1. That you were not sure Meeting would help, and 2. thought that online support might be able to give you the support you need on this Problem of Drinking too much, and in your Bio, you mentioned you wanted to get a Handle on this, before going forward with a Family.....
Well first things first, you need to get a schedule of AA Meetings in your area. Making a call to the local AA Hotline would give you directions for getting that schedule and offer some assistance on any Newcomers Meetings too.
Face to face AA meetings are where you will get that support, and to answer your question about others being your age range, great question, I believe that if you look up Newcomers Meetings, (and by the way that have a whole bunch of energy to them that other meetings might be lacking in, to a degree) probably has to do with so many young people do attend those Newcomers Meetings almost exclusively in some cases, and usually too, a handful of people that are not new at all, to offer support to any looking for that. You might want to ask a member here, Pinkchip, about this, as he has attended those too, and can tell you about his own experiences with Newcomers Meetings. No Doubt he will be responding to your Post later after work, we see him almost daily.
Sounds like you have taken the 1st Step, "Admitted we were Powerless over Alcohol, and our Lives had become Unmanagable". Try and visualize this site as possible a Stepping Stone to the AA Meetings, and the others things that are suggestions only, that you find a Sponsor, someone that you will get to know who can be you main supporter, and guide to the 12 Steps that are also suggested in this Alcoholics Anonymous Program.
I wish you the very very best, and truly wonderful to see you seeking a Sober Life at this young age.
There are many on this site that began not drinking, one day at a time, that started quite a few years ago, but were in their early 20 when they began.
Hope you come back and tell us what you have found....
Wishing you the very best in your efforts, and thanks for Posting....
Welcome Braggheim. I went to my first meeting at 15. I wasn't ready then. I went to a few more at 17, 18, 20, and not again until 27. That's when my desire to get sober peaked. I still took a couple more years or going to meetings regularly (I was hard case lol) to finally get it at age 29. So you're not early or late, but it sounds like you're right on time.
Welcome Braggheim! Hey, we're both from flat vowel states; Indiana and Iowa! LOL I'm not in my 20's, but according to the fragmented memories I've pieced together, I'm pretty sure I used to be.
I hit 3-5 meetings a week. A meeting is a place to discuss topics relevant to staying sober. It's where we share, in a general way, what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. You are free to express your joys, your concerns, your triumphs and your stumbles. I know that no matter what happens, no matter where I am, there is a family waiting for me.
All I have to do is say those magic words "Hi, my name is Rob and I'm alcoholic" and I am instantly among friends.
Welcome to MIP, Braggheim. I enjoyed the humility, honesty & willingness in your share. The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking & you are certainly amongst friends here. I realised I had to stop drinking at 29 though initially I came to A.A. in curiosity as I thought I could stop by myself. After a couple of months of slips I realised there was more to this than I had previously noted & I began to appreciate how helpful A.A. was for me in my journey.
Getting sober was certainly no walk in the park but it has been a new adventure in living & everything I had hoped for myself in the past but had been unable to achieve because of my alcoholic traits are now beginning to come true for me. You may come to be surprised that besides the dangerous nature of your drinking there are many other positive aspects to quitting while you can. It is a progressive illness & your drinking sounds like mine. I consider myself lucky to be here today because I could have had so many lethal accidents where I seriously injured myself.
I am grateful to be sober today & I wish you the best in your efforts too. As has been suggested I would say, attend some meetings, become familiar with the literature & speak regularly with other alcoholics who live successfully within a program. They will have much to share with you & helping you will help them too. Keep coming back. I'm glad you're here, Danielle x
__________________
Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Congrats on taking the 1st step. I identify with your situation as I started having some bad concequences from drinking. I didn't drink everyday but when I did I could not control it, I came into AA at 24 and now have almost 25 years sober.
Today, I'm very grateful for the great life, friends and support I now enjoy.
This forum can be a great help in your soberiety, but if you want to stay sober and be happy living a sober life you need to go to local AA meetings, get a Big Book, get connected and start working the program.
The problem is not the alcohol or drugs, the problem is "us" and change has to occur.
Change is not always easy, it needs to be the most important thing in our life, but if you are like us life will be "hell" without it.
I hope this helps, feel free to contact me if you like.
Let us know how you progress!
__________________
Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Hi Braggheim, Welcome to MIP! I am in my 30's, but looking back to my 20's, at that point I was a binge drinker, life of the party and when I drank, I always got plastered. The problem is that when I looked back on my drinking history, I never was a social drinker. I was a social get plastered person. The progression to full blown raging alcoholism was slow and it crept up on me as I found a partner who drank like I did and stayed with him for 7 years. The more I drank, the less I coped with reality, the more dysfunctional I became, and it turned into a vicious circle where I could not stop drinking, was drinking on the way home from work (in the car) and drinking every day in the last few months. It ended for me with an eye awakening car crash (also with no DUI). I had a totaled car and could have killed myself and/or others. That was enough to get me started...along with the fact that drinking was making me miserable and no longer working to solve or even help solve any problem. At 25 I did pay all my bills and was moving foward in my life. I put all that growth on hold so that I could drink for another 11 years. So...I don't know if you need AA. Only you can decide that and only I can tell you what my experience has been. I have anxiety and when I drank, I would become the life of the party too. Again, it just took more time until that party turned into me either acting totally crazy in a bar or drinking alone. The newcomer's meetings I have gone to over this year have been great because you don't even have to ask much for support in the way you might at other meetings. People will come up and offer you their numbers and help just from you saying you are new. It is encouraged at newcomer's meetings that you share frequently so that people get to know you and you start becoming part of AA actively from the start. All meetings are good though. Just that at other meetings it is better to listen at first and try to absorb what other people with lots of sobriety time have to say. There is a higher likelihood of finding younger people in newcomer's meetings. Sadly, they do not stick around often times, because the desire for a quieter, non-partying lifestyle is not there for them and it is just a bit at odds with coming to AA meetings (and still trying to go to parties/bars and not drink and/or use). There is always a steady handful of people in their 20s though. Another option is to look for young person's meetings, but I am in AA central here in South Florida and there is still just 1 young people's meeting a week out of like 800 meetings a week in the county. Either way, I came to AA wanting to grow up and had no problem that AA was filled with people older than me. At 36 I was/am at about the average age that people seem to come into AA at. With that said, I am envious (in a good way) of some of the people that came in at your age and now have a decade sober and a quality of life and serenity I am still working for (though things are so so so much better than they were a year ago). So...I would check out a meeting. It does sound like you have indicators that you might progress in your drinking due to the reckless nature things have gone in with your binge drinking. It was that way for me...I almost fell off a building in college. I fell down the steps backwards and hurt myself pretty bad...All these were funny back then, until fastforward to age 36 and I was stumbling around the house every night and nobody was laughing and I was crying. Anyhow, AA is wonderful, no matter what age you are. There is nothing wrong with having a support network of older and wiser peers as you go through life. Eventually, we are all going to catch up with those older than us anyhow...if we are lucky. So...I actually made up my own saying about being the "life of the party." I used to always be the life of the party, but I had to get sober to have the party of my life. It may sound cheezy but it refers to no longer living for the next drunk and trying to just make my life as happy and serene (not necessarily a big party) as possible. In support,
Mark
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I just wanted to thank all of you for the greetings and words of encouragement. Reading some of your replies really helped me to see I DO need to attend meetings. For a long time I never feared seeing drinks or people drinking when I decided not to drink, but it is different today. Admitting to myself that for 24 hours a day every day for the rest of my life I will be an alcoholic really changes my perspective. I know that I will have to make changes to not fail in the future. I've known for a long time that I have great potential in life and that drinking will get in the way of the goals I have for myself, yet I still struggle with it. Coming here was a great help! I will work on finding the right meeting for me locally and keep you posted!
Hi Bragg. My advice is get a schedule of meetings, go to meetings and go often. Get some phone numbers of people to call and actually call them, don't get the heavy phone syndrome. Find someone you like and feel you can trust a meetings and ask them to be your sponsor and let them lead you to a better life.
__________________
Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
