Hi Tipsy,

What can I say, when my husband once asked me, why and what does it "feel" like when you go  through those mood swings.

I told him, "Imagine be wired to an electric fence, and then someone turns the 220 voltage on"

 Miserable... for us woman too. So at least you are not alone, she feels worse physically that you too.

Prefect time to find a great book, and read it, cover to cover.

Other than this issue, how has everything been going for you??

tonicakes

Tipsy, none of us works a perfect program, but it has been said to me that a relationship will bring out even more...everything you need to work on in yourself. I guess that is why it is relationships that wind up being one, if not the, number 1 reason (other than people being alcoholics in the first place) that people go out. Your girlfriend is the person you have the most opportunity and the most need to practice the principles of the program with (other than yourself of course). If you love her, be quick to apologize when you know you are wrong. Try and be patient because we all have our off days. Try and be grateful and gain perspective always. Compared to being a sloppy fall down drunk and having all sorts of problems in the past, putting up with her moodiness during those 4 days shouldn't be too hard. If it is, double up on meetings on those days to gain strength, but also just to get away from her, be out of the house, and to tap back in to your gratitude. Also, it does seem like you use humor to cover being hurt, so when caustic and sarcastic comments come from you, she is going to let it rip on you every now and then and it's going to really hurt because your jokes are coming from a place of hurt. When you talk, I would try to calmly address some of the things she said that hurt the most, because you don't want to dismiss all of them as "her being on the rag." When you care about someone, you want them to show their assets and caring back to you all the time, but that just isn't reality and sometimes you see their defects as they see yours. Be patient and let her be her own free person just as you are.

Also, don't you think it would throw you off a bit to be bleeding out your genitals and having cramps for 4 days out of the month? Yah.

P.S.
Nothing is more aggravating than the fact that men call everything "PMS", even DURING the "monthly problemo". The "P" means "Pre-" not during. Just one of my little pet peeves, and now I pass. (cramp cramp....)

You know why it's called "PMS" don't you?


Because the name "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken

In Tennessee, most men are smart enough to go camping for a long weekend...If it's ONLY a few days a month, consider yourself lucky. I'd agree it CAN be a great "excuse" to drink. We, as alcoholics, don't need excuses, we drink because it's who we are/were. We drink because we "like" it.

I know my wife wants me to relate to her during this time, I can't. I can't relate to something I haven't experienced. I can relate to many things, including alcoholism, I'm there. If your looking for an excuse to drink, the Titans lost, we have to go to work tomorrow, the sky is blue,grass is green and a million others.

Suck it up, relax, TRY to be supportive...in a few days, it will be business as usual, she will realize how supportive you've been (benefits there too) and you will have one more good, sober month.

(in the future make plans to go camping, hunting, fishing, working...Always keep the car keys, it will help from being left behind. ) None of this is logical, but (no offensive) women tend not to be, they are more emotionally driven.

I've been married nearly 15 years, and I still don't understand, but this is what works for me!

Mark

I smiled and said "Honey, is it that time of the month?"...that was a bad decison...and it got worse when I condescendingly patted her on the back and said "There, there, honey, I forgive you. I know you can't help it. lets get you home and get some Midol into you."...

James, I think you must have known what was coming in saying all this, yes?? If I wanted to wind someone up, this is what I would say lol Have you learned the art in the spiritual tool of unreserved apology & amend yet? You may be pleasantly surprised when this action relieves you of the bondage of your self. Have a chat with your sponsor on your part & get back to us with how you worked your program. I'll be awaiting & impressed when you arrive back out the other side. God be with you while you're walking. Danielle x

I guess I am very lucky. My wife actually gets nicer.

Tipsy McStagger wrote:

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My girlfriend's PMS is driving me to drink.

I'm not kidding around, it's that bad. For 25-26 days a month she's the most lovely, caring and kind person I've ever met. She's so nice she could make Mother Theresa look like a bitch...but all of a sudden she changes and becomes this irrational, argumentative crazy person who I'm afraid to talk to if sharp objects are nearby. I can't describe how difficult it is to live with someone who turns into a lunatic every month.

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What can I say? You lucky lucky man you. You get to live with an angel for 25 odd days a month and for 4 days you get issues. how i wish I was in that position.

Your Girlfreinds PMS isn't driving you to drink, you just see a good excuse there man.

Flip this and be grateful for having a great person to live with most of the time.

 

pinkchip wrote:

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I guess this is one of the few benefits of being a gay male.

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Another benefit would be that if you date someone relatively close to your size you instantly double your wardrobe!

 

Maybe this being gay thing is something to consider

you know, not all women have this problem. paying attention during the dating segment of the relationship could probably reveal this (given enough time as people are usually on their best behavior for the first 3-6 months) and give you the opportunity to keep looking.

Missed this topic. Tee Hee to all. I can laugh now, I'm in the white zone right now. Of course I never let a little bleeding get to me. Although me hubby might say different....

If one more male here calls us "illogical".... or, with his "male-jewel in hand", tries to analyze us while having no frigging clue, I am going to definitely gather up arms and start a war by firing the first shot!!

Enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Men, trying to cleverly explain a woman in the presence of women, is a very irrational and dumb thing to do!!!


LOL

jonijoni1 wrote:

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If one more male here calls us "illogical".... or, with his "male-jewel in hand", tries to analyze us while having no frigging clue, I am going to definitely gather up arms and start a war by firing the first shot!!

Enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Men, trying to cleverly explain a woman in the presence of women, is a very irrational and dumb thing to do!!!

---

Whoa, sounds like someone's retaining.

There, there Joni...it will be all right, just go have a warm bath and in a few days it will all be over










...

 

-- Edited by Tipsy McStagger on Thursday 24th of September 2009 12:48:01 PM