A friend of mine has recently started exhibiting a pattern of alcohol abuse. It started becoming apparent to me nearly 5 months ago. Unfortunately, I live in Virginia, and she lives in New Jersey, so it took me a while to really notice. A few weeks ago, her husband, came to me and told me that her habits are getting worse. He'll find empty bottles in the house. They're not really hidden, because they'll be in the alcohol cabinet, or the recycling bin. She always has a mysterious water bottle filled with "lemonade" wherever we go. She takes rum with her to movies and adds it to the soft drinks. Whenever we hang out and drink, she'll always be in bed by 9. Her husband believes she has some alcohol in the morning and even takes her lemonade-filled-water-bottle to work with her. Her relationships with her family are extremely strained. At my bridal shower, which was 11 - 4 in the afternoon, she was definitely drunk. It was noticeable to the other bridesmaids and guests.
I'm not sure what to do about this. Her husband approached me to talk about it, and look for ideas. I really feel that he needs to speak with his wife first. Or, if he feels a group intervention would be better, we could try that. I just feel so helpless being out of state.
Can anyone offer suggestions about how to talk to a friend?
Aloha Disjointed...A suggestion besides getting all the experience, strength and hope here? Go to the Al-Anon group page. That same step and tradition program is for family, friends and associates of alcoholics. You should suggest it to him also so that you and he both can read all the input from many, many others who are in both of your shoes or have been and one time and now have experience change.
I once had that suggestion also made to me and for that I am extreemly grateful.
Disjointed, The Alanon page and Alanon program are very good suggestions. They will help you both work on yourself which in turn will help you deal with the alcoholic that still suffers. In the meantime; try to detach your emotions from your friends situation. It's your friends problem and only she's going to be able and willing to do something about it.
