I moved into a shared house a few months ago. One of the housemates is female and drinks incessantly, a mix of everything, all hours, picks fights with all of the housemates, landlord, and any of her family/friends, etc., then sleeps at all hours. This is worsening week by week at this point. Any suggestions besides paying whatever I have to to get out of the situation? She also got a little dog which barks, growls and chews up anything it touches. This mixed with what appears at this time to be a domineering personality, makes her very difficult to work with. She does have a good heart, but the patience in the house is wearing thin.
And Wecome to the Miracles in Progress Board- little family!
I can only speak for myself, but if I found myself living with an active drunk, one of us would have to leave - like yesterday.
I can put up with folks coming to my house, say on the holidays, bringing their own wine, and make sure that the remaining Alcohol is leaving with them. If anyone actually got drunk in my house, I would gently but clearly just ask them to leave.
I have always been extremely cautious, and feel very comfortable being so.
Hope you find the answer you need for you.
Please keep Posting, and if you can, we would love to hear about YOU. And how and where you are in your own Recovery.
Cherrio, and again, Welcome!
Toni
-- Edited by toni baloney on Saturday 5th of September 2009 08:04:35 AM
Well...saying nothing doesn't help...saying something probably won't if she's in denial. But...there is always the chance that the seed you plant by telling her you think she should get help (and if you tell her in a loving way), will be the seed that grows. If you think she's a danger to herself immenently...that's a different story that might involve trying to get her family involved and getting her into treatment whether she's fully ready or not. Some of us needed several rehabs not fully of our own will before the acceptance set in.
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Hi Swimmer, how about talking to your landlord? If her dog is destroying other peoples' property, and she is disturbing the peace, perhaps (or not) a warning form the landlord will at least urge her to take her drinking elsehwere??
Also, if you could perhaps make a log of these incidents and ask your landlord to do something about it, and he/she doesn't, then you could have a leagl reason to move out without having to pay anything?
Just a couple of suggestions. You did not mention whether you yourself are an alcoholic trying to stay sober, or if you are just here to get some advise from those of us who have "experience in the matter"? Either way, welcome to you!
Joni
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Have you tried confronting her about the situation? That might not be fun but you should probably try and do it. Offer to go with her to an AA meeting. You could also try getting rid of all her alchohol, which would probably make her angry but it might be for the better. Just some ideas. Does she pay her share of the rent? If not I would ask her to leave.
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