The noose does not feel as tight as it did a few weeks ago. Still alone, still very lonely, but I am alive...... and Sober.
We lost a member of our home group, and old timer. In the obituary it said '... and grateful friend of Bill W.' And I had a remember when. I have seen others that said '....cherished friend of Bill W'. I used to think who the frig is this Bill W ? Why is he mentioned at the end all the time with the family ? This guy sure gets around, men and women ! Suffice to say my ignorance at that time, was not filled with bliss.
Tried to skip a meeting a few weeks back on a Saturday night. Figured I would just take it easy as I had hit about 8 meetings already. I just wanted some quiet. Started to channel surf and at 8:00 p.m. on T.V.O. (Ontario's equivalent to Public Television) they are talking about weird shit. Addiction, Alcoholism, etc. The movie for tonight was " Days of Wine and Roses"....... ohhhhhh shit. These movies come in two's, it's always a theme night. "Clean and Sober" was next. No use in hiding from this shit or running, it inevitably catches up to you in one way or another. I tried to miss one hour, and got about 3 hrs in return.
With that I'll pass.....
__________________
I'm proud to say I am an Alcoholic, and my name is Scott.
If the plan for me is divinely inspired, no man shall find fault with where I am today, or how I got here.
Sounds like things have been on the upswing with you. (As in when you mentioned the word "our" homegroup). So happy you have found a place that feels like home to you.
Faith, Hope and Charity, so very akin to Trust GOD, Clean House, and Help Another.
Do you now have a Sponsor, someone to stay in close touch with, and if so, has he started to work the Steps with you?
Hope you will Post more often, if you have the time.
Sending Hugs your way, Toni
-- Edited by toni baloney on Friday 7th of August 2009 05:16:19 PM
Good to see you back, Scott & sounding a little more positive & light in your heart though possibly still lonesome. I hope you'll stay with us & keep posting. It will help you feel less alone, I'm sure. Working the steps will enhance the quality of your life too no matter how hard they may feel right now. The promises come true when we work for them. I'm made up you're still sober. These difficult times will pass & your future will begin to unfold to happier & more fulfilling times. I hope you'll continue to share your E,S&H with us. I do enjoy when you're sharing about your program & I hope you'll be feeling much, much better soon. We know that God's delays are not God's denials! I love that :) Keep coming back, dear one ~ Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Was just thinking about how you are doing, and wanted to share an experience I went through. several years ago, the detail were very very different, but it was a very gut wrenching experience, and I recall waking up every morning, and Praying and sometimes begging God to PLEASE JUST hold onto me, as I walk through this.....and this event went on and on and on.
But today several years later, I can look back and see that All of my Prayers to my God of my understanding did hold onto me.. as I walked through it.
Just Praying that God will Keep you Close, and Keep you SAFE, in HIS Unconditional Love for each and everyone of US.
We are so very blessed, I loved how Danielle put it, God's Delays are NOT God's Denials......She surely has a gift for words that still confound me!
Ok, this CODA portion of the response is now over, sorry Danielle :)
Scott, Please just keep taking good care of yourself.
Sending More Hugs your Way
Baloneycakes
-- Edited by toni baloney on Saturday 8th of August 2009 01:21:29 PM
