I've been an alcoholic since I was 21 (29 now), although I didn't know it until recently. I thought I was fine as long as I didn't drink everyday, who cared if the weekends I was constantly drunk.
I am married now and my drinking has slowed, but when I do drink I end up doing dumb things and hurting my wife's feelings. It is getting to the point where I need to just stop because of the problems it causes. With some work, I am hoping to make last night my last night of drinking.
I am going to start meetings on Wednesday at my church, can anyone let me know what they are like? I"m a little nervous of the unknown.
Nothing to worry about T...the room will be filled with a lot of people just like you trying to gain and maintain their sobriety, which doesn't only mean being alcohol abstinent. When you drink the person that shows up is hurtful to your wife, yourself and others. Eventually you will want to come to know that person and that will be fine also. Get into the program, all the way in and sit all the way down. Open your mind all the way open and let the language of AA and the Experiences, Strengths and Hopes of the fellowship support your desire to stop and change.
Welcome to the board! I can relate to hurting (everyone's) feelings. I always knew that I could not handle alcohol responsibly and after fighting the inevitable, decided to give it up altogether. All I can tell you is that after a while, you start to enjoy life without it. That may be hard to see at first but trust (us here and all of them in AA), it is true. AA meetings are a little daunting at first, mostly because we feel bad about ourselves, our "problem" and other things. You will find that once you get used to the idea of going, meeting some of the regulars, etc, you will settle in and start to learn about life, yourself, your feelings and much more. Nothing to be ashamed of, scared of, nervous about.....3 million people can't be wrong! Let us know how you are making out and ask LOTS of questions here, we like to help where we can. scott
__________________
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
Congrats on your decision to go to a meeting. Your never late for your first one, I was an alcoholic by the age of 18 and got sober in the rooms at 24.
There are a few of different meeting formats, the most common being either a Speaker meeting, where one person shares their life history and how they got/stayed sober with the group or a discussion format where the chairperson brings up a topic for discussion. A typical meeting will have between 20 and 60 people.
People will/should be eager and willing to help you with soberiety and offer phone #'s etc, helping others is a key component to staying sober.
I woud suggest arriving about 30 minutes early, there will probably be few people setting up, just introduce yourself to them and tell them that this is your 1st meeting and you can meet more people as they arrive.
They may ask for you to introduce yourself as a new person, members usually introduce themseves before speaking as "my name is Rob and I'm an alcoholic" etc, you can introduce yourself as just "Doug and this is my first meeting" or "Doug alcoholic" if you desire.
If asked to share you can do so, or just state that you would like to listen. If you have questions it is best to ask someone before or after the meeting..not during, IMO.
You can also call the AA cental office in your area and tell them you would like for someone from the meeting to contact you, that way you will already have a contact who is expecting you and can guide you through.
Remember there is no shame in having a problem, the only shame is doing nothing about it.
The terror, remorse and fear we experience when drinking sucks, you won't have to live that way any longer.
Take care and let us know how it goes!
__________________
Rob
"There ain't no Coupe DeVille hiding in the bottom of a Cracker Jack Box."
Welcome Doug. I'm new here too and new to AA. This is Day 42 for me, but I felt just like you before I attended my first meeting. I just knew I had to try something.
Since then, I have been given so much help and support to enable me to cope one day at a time.
You will never regret going to that meeting.
Best Wishes
__________________
You never know why the wrong door closes until the right door opens.
Welcome to MIP and congrats on taking this first step into sobriety. Rob mentioned you will hear a lot of peoples' stories both in speaker meetings and in regular ones. You will hear from those that have sunk to lower bottoms than you have. I just wanted to let you know that one ahead of time because the tendency is sometimes to think "Oh ok, I don't have as big a problem as that" and then to go back out until you do have a problem that big. There are other people there that arrived at AA because their weekend drinking became outrageously out of control and stopped them from enjoying life the way it was meant for them. It might take you some time to find those people, and you don't necessarily have to. I would just suggest trying to identify with what makes sense to you and don't try and think too much how you are different. Luckily, I didn't spend much time thinking how I was different because I was drinking every day and my life was totally wrecked when I stepped into AA about 10 months ago. Keep the determination up and you can also find a meeting today, tomorrow, the next day if you want. You will likely hear the suggestion to attend 90 meetings in 90 days and to get a sponsor. You can take that one as you wish also, but it does work better if you do those things.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Traher, Welcome! Enjoy your journey. Sounds like you have the desire to get and stay sober. Keep posting and asking for help. There's a lot of experience on this site.
Hey thanks alot. First meeting is Wednesday at 730p. Really looking forward to it. I've tried quitting before, but after a couple months I'm usually like "well i've done good, I have have one while I watch the game" and one turns to three...four... five... etc; next thing I know my sunday is wasted and i've done something to really upset my wife.
One thing to borrow from Tipsy. His tagline actually resonates with me. "Why do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?" While it's sort of self-debasing. Alcohol makes us act stupid, plain and simple. It's nice to be free from that, even though I still make some bad choices sober but at least I learn from them now. Stay determined and would love to hear how the meeting went.
Mark
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
