So sayeth the (currently drinking and using) wife of someone, today. Of course we all rushed to tell him otherwise, and he knew otherwise. But I could still see some discomfort there. And at the time, I just couldn't for the life of me think what to say.
See, we "macho men" don't want to look weak in front of women, right? And it would be nice to have some kind of snappy comeback to say to those who don't understand.
Well I just thought of one (and I'll tell the guy next time I see him).
Just say, "I suppose if I went to the gym every day you'd see that as a sign of weakness too?"
Because without the gym, he wouldn't be able to keep his body nice and strong. It would soon turn to jello. You don't just go to the gym a few times and then be done with it, if you want to maintain a nice strong body.
Same goes for AA. Just tell that scoffing female that you're maintaining your mental strength and toughness through daily exercise at meetings. Just like you'd be maintaining your physical strength and toughness by going to the gym.
(Don't bother saying anything about spiritual or emotional strength, that's girlie stuff) Just kiddin' of course!
Nobody would say it's a sign of weakness that you have to go to the gym regularly to maintain your physical condition, and it's common knowledge that the brain is like a muscle -- one which can atrophy as quickly as the body.
"I'm going to AA to keep my brain strong. Just a little mental workout."
Going to AA took more strength than anything I have ever done in my whole life. It was also the best thing I've done in my life I would say at this point. Whatever anyone else says about that is a pile of doo doo to me because it's what I think that matters. "They" didn't make me an alcoholic. I did. (yeah i know it's a disease I didn't ask for and all that, but I indulged it and I have to own that). That's why I need meetings and "They" can do and say whatever.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
For myself, if someone's spouse said that to me, I would have followed it with.
"Yep, if I had cancer, I WOULD go almost everyday to get my medication, but hey, if you think thats weak or dumb. Your opinion of me, is ACTUALLY none of my business anyway................................................and now, You'll have good day, really have to get going.
Sort of a comical post, thanks,
Toni
And Glenn, tooo bad you did not say to your wife, you know the really sharp scissors that are stainless steel, top of the line, who knows what you would have found then,
Just full of Baloney today
-- Edited by toni baloney on Friday 17th of July 2009 06:13:45 PM
Would this same woman say the same of chemo for cancer or insulin for diabetics?
When people say such idiotic, selfish and otherwise dumb@ss things to me, i typically say "why do you say that?" or simply ask them to repeat themselves. Usually, forcing them to repeat it and really HEAR themselves say it again is enough to make MOST rude b@stards see how crass the statement was.
I have to admit some 20+ years ago I told my now ex-husband (then boyfriend) that he was weak for having to go to meetings AND that the world was a social place and he would need to learn how to deal with being around drinking situations... while I know this is his story I am a part of it and can tell you that he told his AA support group what I said ---they told him to RUN and FAST away from me as far as he could get.
He tried -- it was very difficult for him to be around me. I know now I only wanted him to stay in my world - the drinking, using world where he was the odd man out- but where I was comforatble.
Luckily I came around to start my own sober journey after hitting a few "jackpots" and watching him get better ---10 mos after he got sober I finally stood up at a meeting and introduced myself too.
Going to meetings is part of the work we need to do. They alwasy make me feel better compared to when I came into the meeting. What about all that time I spent in the bars and discos for the sole reason to get drunk... and now there is no time to go to a meeting?
If going to AA is a sign of weakness, then I guess going to prison or drinking oneself to death are the epitome of strength. I guess some people feel that way. I'll never be as "strong" as my dad who died puking blood at the age of 57 when his liver failed, but I hope to outlive him.
Of course anything you hear like that, you have to consider the source.
Just kiddin' of course! 
................................................and now,