Granted I'm only 28 years old, but here's my story. I've been told I'm a functional alcoholic before while I was in the Military, and I've also been told that I have a dependency. I'm doing well, but I have MAYBE 1 or 2 beers a week now, IF that..
__________________________________________________ My cousin got me into beer when we were working at a Sheet metal fabrication shop back when we were probably 19. "Man it feels good to have a cold beer after a long hot day of work!" was our motto. FF: 10 years later, I was drinking every day, Every night to help me go to sleep. I don't know how long this went on, since I don't remember. But I've gone through times where I would drink about 15 beers a night. I would black out occasionally, and I've embarrassed myself a number of times during it.
Recently I was drinking about 8 beers a night, every night. I wouldn't get TRASHED, just enough to get a good buzz. I recently picked up a job as a tow truck driver and I was on call 24/7, so I quit drinking cold turkey. That was a little rough for about a week... But I ended up getting laid off when I was out with a foot problem for a week and they hired another driver in my absence.
But my main question as of now is, is it normal to have 2 or 3 a week and that's it? or is this basically a stepping stone and an excuse for my mind to rationalize drinking again? This has happened before and I go right back to drinking 15 beers a night, every night. My father has always been worried about my drinking, but my mother was the one who would tell me. My friend Jason was the one that was criticizing my drinking while he was sitting there sucking down a half a bottle of Vodka while he was getting a tattoo.. AND THEN HE DROVE HOME.. I'm really strict against drinking and driving. He's older than me, so he knows what he's doing.
I just don't see a point on getting drunk anymore. And I'm not a religious person, so I mainly think that things happen for a reason in life.
Something that helped me when I would start to feel 'thirsty' is a glass of tea or a cup of decaf coffee (at night).. But whenever I hear of anything related to drinking, I can handle it, but sometimes I just crave a beer. I still couldn't sleep even if I wanted to.. I was in transit one time returning from a deployment for 36 hours and I slept MAYBE an hour of it. I'm on meds from the VA to help with my sleep issues, but those work when they want to.
I appologise if this is vauge, but it's more of a story with a couple questions thrown in.
Sounds like alcoholism has some grip on you but maybe not in a way that's as traditional as others in the rooms. Regardless, I've heard similar drinking patterns in other people's stories and even in my own. Basically, I would do whatever anyone around me does and if I was with someone not drinking, I wouldn't drink...What got me really started was choosing to be around people that drank all the time and then my on and off again drinking became full on and I couldn't stop. Either way, if you want to quit...it's just that simple. AA is a program to help you grow as a person and that is why it has exploded into a gazillion other anonymous groups. So whether or not it's all about drinking at the start, sooner or later, AA becomes all about you becoming as whole as a person as you can be. You have the patterns to certainly claim a seat if you wanted to, but it's up to you of course.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I'm assuming that since you are on an Alcoholics Anonymous Board that you want the Alcoholics Anonymous answer and not just some opinion as to whether or not you're alcoholic. Here it is:
" If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic."
If you HONESTLY have no problem stopping, I would say no, you are not an alcoholic. My best friend's dad will drink a beer when a friend will come over, or a couple on Saturday. He drinks maybe 5-6 beers a week. But is perfectly fine without drinking at all. I consider him to be non-alcoholic. But, you have to be honest with yourself also. Only you will know if you have a problem. And you are right, a problem can start out with just a few beers a week. So be careful.
I have not had a drink in quite some time, but when thoughts of drinking pop in my head - whether it's in the form of reminiscing about the past through rose colored glasses or just watching a beer commercial, I treat those as alcoholic thoughts. I don't really have any other way of thinking about alcohol. These things remind me that alcoholism is with me, just over my shoulder. I can put some distance between me and my last drink, but my disease will always be just over my shoulder. I can live with that; if it's not over my shoulder where my peripheral vision can catch the occasional glimpse, and I can say "I see you and I know what you are", then maybe it's waiting in ambush in the bushes ahead. That's why I need to go to meetings and say I'm an alcoholic.
If you have the disease of alcoholism, you can't outrun it or whip it or sneak away from it. It will come back around to get in its licks.
I decided I was an alcoholic initially based on my drinking. But what convinced my heart and soul was the fact that since I started taking this treatment for alcoholism and going to meetings and working the steps, my life has gotten nothing but better. Sobriety has been good for me.
Aloha Bear...Your post reminds me of when I first looked for answers. It was a good search and I had lots of help with it also. One of the things available to you is the alcoholism self screening test. Put that in your web search and when it comes up take it in the quietness and privacy of your own home. When you get the answer to your question you'll know what to do then. Be honest with the exam as that is what works best.
And welcome, dont have a real answer for you, other that to say to go online like Jerry suggested, and answering those questions, really might help come to a better understanding of where you are at with your drinking..
Ok, now this is just adding some levity here. When I personally drank beer, long time ago, it was when I thought I was quitting drinking I only liked 80proof and then some when I could find some, and beer felt just like if I was not blacking out, I must be quitting, right? Slurred my words no more, or way less than before. Ok, no more levity out of me. When they speak about "some of us are sicker than others, for many of my first years, I always automatically wanted to, but did not, Raise my hand really high.
The answers will come to you. And you are so young, if you decide to go to an AA Meetings, just to check them out, you might get a good feel for that answer you are looking for, and if you do end up going, I recommend that you try some Newcomers meetings. With a lot of young people, and more than that, those meetings are so FULL of great young energy. Just ask Pinkchip about that, (hope you dont mind my using your name here Pinkchip).
Many on this MIP Board quit at an early age, and have had a good part of life lived without the disease controlling their daily lives.
There is a saying in the rooms, "A pickle can never go back to being a cucumber". So you have to on the inside, decide have I progressed into being a Pickle", or am I still a cucumber.......
I am wishing you well either way, and so wonderful to see you here asking all the right questions.
Please write here and let us know how things are going, after you have done some of that reseach (20 Questions)
Hugs to you, Toni
-- Edited by toni baloney on Tuesday 14th of July 2009 07:32:58 PM
I was reading your story, and thinking to myself, "Damn, this guy sounds like me when I'm older!" lol..
I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm a 22 year old alcoholic. I know the paradise a cold 1 can bring after a long day at work. Now, the question at hand is whether you remain in paradise, or prision.
If you're able to put a couple of em' away and still be a responsible adult, then hey, I'm jealous. But if you're like me, then a couple of em' leads to a few of em', which leads to several of em'. I actually just quite drinking about 10 days ago, and the thought of me drinking now is actually harder than me not drinking. if that makes sense. I used to drink a 40z or 2 a day bro. Mickeys, old english, the strong stuff. now thinking of the taste of them makes me
With the history you've had drinking, my vote is that you are an alcoholic. It's up to you whether you're a smart alcoholic, and know your boundaries, or you deny it, which may lead to some big time problems in the future.
^ Thanx for the help and advise. I used to get the shakes once the sun started to go down.. If I think of having a beer now, I can feel a little bit of the stomach quivers. I think it may be anxiety, but I'm not sure.
I've taken an online questionnaire once and it said I was a dependent. I just needed a good enough reason to STOP drinking.. I've stopped, now I just have to keep it from getting out of hand..
I had 1 the other night and I almost had to hurry up and finish it because I didn't want to look at it anymore. I used to drink by myself every night no matter what night it was. I have some German friends here (German Air Force, stationed near here) and I have out drank them before.. They'd be hitting their hard liquor and heavy beer and I'd be at my steady 15 beer pace of Coors light.
I just really have to learn to control it.
Ok.. writing this is making me thirsty.. Time for a Sierra Mist over a lot of ice and I'm gonna go back to working on my Big computer.. No beer...
oh.. Diet Sierra Mist over Ice is the BEST!! Tastes like lemon/lime water... Not too sweet either. I go through a LOT of that stuff here! It's been over 100 every day... about 105 today again.
-- Edited by Bear350 on Thursday 16th of July 2009 11:55:14 PM
-- Edited by Bear350 on Thursday 16th of July 2009 11:56:03 PM
Hahah! Dude I've been drinking a 2 liter per day! Atleast.
I'm becoming very well known at the grocery store now, instead of the liquor store. lol
Another thing I noticed is if I do think about drinking a beer, I eat something small. Like a quick sandwhich or something. It makes me not want to drink for some reason. I think because you know how beer makes your stomach full? well food make sit even more full, so that kinda helps me out too.
