I have been wondering, 'Am I an alcoholic if, sometimes I can have just one drink or three, if I water them down alot and fool myself into thinking that I am having a 'good time'. I have been doing this because I find it so hard to never drink and also because I know that if I am very cautious and on guard that I can drink and not get drunk. Maybe if I do this often enough I will learn to control my drinking. I feel that I need AA anyway because it helps me to deal with my own character defects which is usually what causes me to drink in a bad way.'
Am I making any sense? Do I qualify to be here If I dont want to quit completely. I am just theorising. For now I believe that it is better to stay away completely but I was jsut thinking abuot this and wondering if anyone had any input on this topic.
Yup-I played all the games in my head, and tried all the ways to do the controlled drinking too.
I could never absorb the thought of never drinking again.
But --I can deal with "Just for today, I will not pick up a drink" "Just for today"
Used to be an old timer here--hes gone now-but he used to say to people "If you dont think your an alcoholic, Ile buy you a bottle, and you can let me know how you make out."
Well-it may be a pretty hard approach to it, but it made me sit up and listen.
Some of us had to go all the way to the garbage dump, before we accepted fully that alcohol was our problem, and we had no control over it.
Others get off the truck before they loose everything.
All I know is--Playing with fire, gets one burnt.
Your choice--your call.
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Easy Does it..Keep It Simple..Let Go and Let God..
You keep coming back, so I think you want to be here. No one is going to tell you it's ok that you drink, but no one is going to tell you that you can't be here either. That's up to you.
From what others have told me, a good dose of AA ruins your drinking.
"But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink." BB pp 21
Wasn't going to rerply because the others have said it all...However this is a disease (alcoholism) that warps our perceptions to reality. what I am saying is that this insanity continues "until you let go absolutely"
BB page 33
"If we are planing to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that some day we will be immune to alcohol."
What I am saying is that all this work you are doing to not deal with the fact that you are an alcoholic is just keeping you in a vicious circle that will pevent you from being everything that you want to be. It is cunning baffeling and powerful and is nothing to play around with.
I didn't stop until I lost EVERYTHING!!! I would surely hate to see you learn by this.
You need to read how it works...because it does! And the promises(BB PAGE 83-LAST PARAGRAPH) because that will happen as a result-Ask any old timer!
Yes it is not an easy thing to know that we cannot drink again in any form that is why we need to take it one day at a time until we gain our perceptions back and realise that we never needed it in the first place. It takes time, and if only you could say to yourself to try it for a year and work this program and see if there are any results before you drink again you will probably find that you don't need to.
hope that this helps, because the other side of alcoholism is such a wonderful thing and so much better than any chemical high I ever got!!!!! AND THATS THE TRUTH. Keep coming back and ask away just give the program a chance that is all we are saying.
Most people can drink, enjoy themselves, and suffer no ill effects from it. I've always been jealous of these people and spent years and years trying to convince myself that I was one of them.
This isn't my first time being sober. The first time was in the early 90s. Eventually I decided that it might be OK for me to have a beer once in awhile under controlled conditions. I'd go buy a beer or two at the store, bring them back to my house, drink them there, and that was it. I was able to do this for a couple years once or twice a week, and I slowly built up my confidence that I was able to drink without getting into trouble. What I didn't realize was that I was getting into trouble the entire time.
Eventually I graduated from doing this to going to upscale bars where I'd sample imported beer with my friends. Still I wouldn't get drunk, and wouldn't do it often. I figured I was still OK.
Within a couple years I moved to the West coast and didn't really know anybody. I decided I'd go meet some people at the bar. So I'd sit at the bar and what do people do at the bar? They drink. So I drank. And I could say "here is where the real trouble started", but really this wasn't where it started. Where it started was when I told myself that I could just drink a couple beers and everything would be fine. Everything wasn't fine, everything was leading inevitably to this point right here, which had me parked in a bar stool getting completely hammered three or four nights out of the week.
I tried mightily to not do it two nights in a row (one of my early rules); eventually that became difficult. Some days I would wake up and would feel so sick I couldn't work or even get out of bed. I tried to moderate the amount that I drank but really had no control over it.
The rest I don't have to describe for you because you've heard it all before.
But it's a slippery slope... and it was never obvious to me when I was in trouble. I am here because I never, ever want to do that again.
Suzy, I don't have much to add to what everyone else has said.I know you have been to an AA meeting and you have a contact person. When you were at the meeting did you pick up any pamplets. We have a rack in our meeting room, I would suggest you read "44Questions" and there are many other good ones.If they don't have one, ask your contact person. If you can't get one there, I would be glad to mail you some pamplets.
Please keep coming to MIP, because we care about you and your family. You can't get sober for anyone but yourself. But your husband can only make choices that are best for him and your children. It's all up to you and your Higer Power, do you have one?? Step 2 - Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Step 3- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.
thanks for the reminder. Yes I have a higher power or at least I make myself believe their is one, I want one. I have not as such had a spiritual feeling though, I find it hard to feel anything when I hand over, I feel like i am jsut saying the words but I never feell like a load is off as some say it feels to them.
What am I perhaps doing wrong . As I said I really do want to hand over to my higher power and I do but I still feel like I am ultimately responsible so my actions are what count. Wven when I ask God to take control I still tend to do something wrong or hurtful.
Suzy, you are on the right road,you can't rush this. this is a process,and it takes time. When I was first in the program, I said the Serenity Prayer over and over like a mantra.I started to feel some relieve as I said it...
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Have you done the 3rd Step prayer with anyone? The prayer is on page 63 of the Big Book, it is sometimes recommended you do it with a sponsor or someone in the program.Please go to meetings , listen, listen and learn.
You don't have to have a big spiritual moment,it can sometimes just be a feeling of peace, just taking things as they come, one day at a time.Keep it simple and know that your Higher Power is there and cares and can give you the courage to get through the moment and the courage to change.
