Close Call....

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Close Call....

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

So why not pour the rum out now? It's also a symbolic gesture to your sobriety (that your sobriety is worth more than $10) and good practice for a future occassion involving a close call. Meanwhile I would suggest daily prayers to have the obsession to drink be removed. I did this for a little over 6 months and have never had a serious thought of having a drink since. It works. Glad that you didn't drink and that you are still with us.

Dean

bikerbill · MIP Old Timer

turninggrey wrote:

The wife and kids are off vacationing and I could not go because of work. Things were fine and then a thought popped into my head. Why not just have a rum and coke? No one will know.

someone would know - you!

Almost like since no one is watching, no one will know. I quick went on to another board that I lurk on and saw a thread about "planning your next drink" I responded that I hated drinking and a west coaster who was up at that time popped up to help. I think the internet is great. I never felt that I needed to get the booze out of the house, but I think my dynamics are changing. We have had a bottle of rum in the house for years and I never think about it. Last night, I did think about it--I was saved by the internet!

One of many tools available - don't forget the telephone, the readings, the meetings, going to see people, doing something productive - go scrub the kitchen floor if you have to!

I think I need to get the wife to get the booze out of the house!
No, take responsibility and pour that stuff down the drain. If your wife wants another bottle, she knows where the grog shop is.

You've had a close shave, you might've been planning this for weeks - review the past few weeks and see if you have manipulated the situation to enable a secret drink, you might be surprised.

But for today, well done, you didn't drink.

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Hey Bikerbill, I know the monster is always back there. SPDean, I did not want to pour out the rum because I do not want my wife to think I drank it! Is that crazy? Its been one of those things that did not bother me over the years, but I am leaving for a trip today, and my wife comes home Friday. I already called her this morning and told her about my close call. She has no problem getting rid of it because she is not a big drinker (thankfully) I just want it there so she knows I did not drink it. It will be gone by the time I come back. Yikes. What a crazy disease. I am really thankful to be sober and feeling good this morning!! Eight hours of sleep. No embarrasment. No blackouts. I can find my wallet. Thanks all.

Dave Harm · Senior Member

I had that chance early in my recovery and thankfully I decided that sobriety was worth more then a day of drinking. There is no doubt in my mind that no one would have ever known - except me.

It was the first time that I began to trust myself... and even if no one ever could find out I'd still know...

There is a good saying on our chips "To Thine Own Self Be True."

toni baloney · Senior Member

Your post on Close call..followed by the thought of "just one" made me think of that slogan, that is up on all the walls in every AA room.

Think
Think
Think

As in Think it...all the way through. Every alcoholic I have known, could never settle for one drink, as another saying goes, one is too many, fourty never enough.

Also when you said you did not throw out the Rum, maybe you were too scared to put your hands on that bottle, for fear that it would not go into that glass first????

Glad you made it through that thought. We are not responsible for our first thoughts, we are responsible for what we do with them, and you did exactly what worked for you, finding another to talk about it in the middle of the night. And writing to this MIP Board, that you are very much a part of.

When we communicate a thought of a drink to another alcoholic, on an Internet site, or in a Meeting, it sure does seem to take the Power right out of that thought.

I believe most of us in our first year were visited by that "Just one" suggestion
many times.

That to me is just the Disease rearing it's ugly head, and inviting you back to a life of active alcoholism, and all that goes with it.

Good to see you here, hope you have a great sober day today.

Toni

-- Edited by toni baloney on Wednesday 1st of July 2009 01:30:18 PM

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Thanks Dave and Toni,
I really have to get more rigid with taking time to devote to study and thought and step study.

eastcoastscott · Senior Member

StPeteDean wrote:

So why not pour the rum out now? It's also a symbolic gesture to your sobriety (that your sobriety is worth more than $10)

$10???? Clearly you don't live in Canada!!!! I gave up drinking because I was going broke!!! No, seriously though....My wife is going away for a week with her mother and I have wine in the house. I am honest enough with myself to know if the bottles will "speak" to me. I have failed the test before but am much better with these things now.....even passed the "all inclusive resort" test this past March. AA rocks!

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

It's worthless to me Scott lol. A 1/5 of Bacardi was $5 when I got sober. Cigs were $1 a pack, and domestic beer was $10 a case. Bottom line is when you're alone with alcohol and you have a serious thought about drinking it, pouring it out should be an immediate automatic reflex. Relapse comes at you fast, and often you don't get a second chance to remove yourself from the situation. If it's in your home, it should go down the drain. Then the next time you'll think before you think about having that drink lol.

-- Edited by StPeteDean on Wednesday 1st of July 2009 09:31:49 PM

Jason J · Veteran Member

turninggrey wrote:

Hey Bikerbill, I know the monster is always back there. SPDean, I did not want to pour out the rum because I do not want my wife to think I drank it! Is that crazy? Its been one of those things that did not bother me over the years, but I am leaving for a trip today, and my wife comes home Friday. I already called her this morning and told her about my close call. She has no problem getting rid of it because she is not a big drinker (thankfully) I just want it there so she knows I did not drink it. It will be gone by the time I come back. Yikes. What a crazy disease. I am really thankful to be sober and feeling good this morning!! Eight hours of sleep. No embarrasment. No blackouts. I can find my wallet. Thanks all.

When I read your original post I knew right away why you didn't pour it out, I was thinking I would have done the same thing. Even though my wife would believe me, I would be thinking "but what if she doesn't". Yup, I would have left the house until she got home and find something constructive to keep me busy to avoid drinking it before pouring it out for just that reason. Crazy but that's the way I think too.

I had a good test a couple weeks ago, camping with me and a buddy at a lake far far from home. He knows I don't drink anymore but he rarely drinks and doesn't understand how I drank (he was my only "non drinking buddy") First night he offers me a beer - "no thanks". Later he pulls out a bottle of honey flavored something and wants me to try it, I decline again and he says 'just take a little drink to check it out'. I decline again and he says 'well just put some in you mouth to taste and spit it out". I finally explained that I don't drink that way and one isn't an option and I really don't stop once I start. He still didn't seem to get it but he stopped asking and continued having 2 beers a day and a shot or two. It didn't really bother me and I had a great time fishing, mountain biking and jet skiing. I don't understand how he does it but I know enough not to think I can.

Have a great weekend, I'll be celebrating sober for the 2nd time in my adult life.

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Hey Jason, It's funny that we thought alike on the wife situation. I called her today and told her the "folks on the board" were telling me to dump out the rum, but that I did not want her to think I drank it she laughed. I think the bottle has been in there for 2 years untouched. I was so confident of my sobriety back then, I would actually whip up the pina coladas for her friends and not slip. I must be going through my second childhood now or something like a mid life crisis because the desire seems to be much stronger now than when I first stopped 26 years ago!

angelov8 · MIP Old Timer

Grey, thanks for your post. I just got home from work, where I was left all alone for the first time, with approximately 50 bottles of booze. The "nobody would know" crossed my mind for a second, which was interesting since my husband keeps beer in the fridge at home and I've haven't been tempted at all so far. I got my 30 day chip today and someone there told me when the urge strikes hard to put in my mouth and chew till it's gone, then drink if I still wanted to. Reminds me of a post by Tonibalony about only if in life-inprisonment in China. Anyway, last night I had a dream where I had the glass of vodka in my hand. In my dream I dumped it out. So I just tapped into that memory while finishing up and asked my HP to help. Plus I didn't want to dissappoint myself.
I'm glad you wrote here to keep it in perspective, and remind us that we need to remain vigilant and connected to AA, even after some time has gone by.

bikerbill · MIP Old Timer

turninggrey wrote:

Hey Bikerbill, I know the monster is always back there. SPDean, I did not want to pour out the rum because I do not want my wife to think I drank it! Is that crazy? Its been one of those things that did not bother me over the years, but I am leaving for a trip today, and my wife comes home Friday. I already called her this morning and told her about my close call. She has no problem getting rid of it because she is not a big drinker (thankfully) I just want it there so she knows I did not drink it. It will be gone by the time I come back. Yikes. What a crazy disease. I am really thankful to be sober and feeling good this morning!! Eight hours of sleep. No embarrasment. No blackouts. I can find my wallet. Thanks all.
Thanks for this reply, there are two (or more) sides to things and different ways of looking at it - just realised that the embolment of my reply might have been read as shouting / stroppy - wasn't meant that way, just done to deiffrentiate my replies from your posts.

kkotz401 · Senior Member

Glad things worked out for the better for you.

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

bikerbill wrote:

turninggrey wrote:

Hey Bikerbill, I know the monster is always back there. SPDean, I did not want to pour out the rum because I do not want my wife to think I drank it! Is that crazy? Its been one of those things that did not bother me over the years, but I am leaving for a trip today, and my wife comes home Friday. I already called her this morning and told her about my close call. She has no problem getting rid of it because she is not a big drinker (thankfully) I just want it there so she knows I did not drink it. It will be gone by the time I come back. Yikes. What a crazy disease. I am really thankful to be sober and feeling good this morning!! Eight hours of sleep. No embarrasment. No blackouts. I can find my wallet. Thanks all.
Thanks for this reply, there are two (or more) sides to things and different ways of looking at it - just realised that the embolment of my reply might have been read as shouting / stroppy - wasn't meant that way, just done to deiffrentiate my replies from your posts.
Naw Bill,
I liked your post. I got it. It was helpful.
Thanks,
Tom