4 days sober and really really struggling

Bicyclemechanic · Newbie

4 days sober and really really struggling

Rob84 · MIP Old Timer

Hopefully you are sleeping by now. if not just don't drink tonight, ask God for strength.

Go to a meeting tomorrow and get some phone numbers etc.

There is no justifiable reason to pick up a drink, it makes nothing better and the morning is worse.

95 % of the population doesn't drink because it's Thursday, you're just an alcohlic who is programed to drink.

You're not alone we have all made it though what you are experiencing.

bikerbill · MIP Old Timer

Bicyclemechanic wrote:

I was hoping someone could impart some words to help me get through this very challenging time.

This is the first time I have really tried to stop drinking- I have attended meetings in the past but never stopped getting drunk. I feel that the odds are significantly stacked against me staying sober beyond tomorrow night. One of the hardest problems I am having is that I am trapped in a line of thinking that justifies my drinking because it is thursday night and of course you are supposed to drink on a thursday night. Hopefully sleep will come soon.....

One day at a time my friend. Sometimes it's one hour at a time, 5 minutes at a time. you have enough on your plate today, but it's not more than you can cope with. Don't look at tomorrows plate. When today ends and you go to bed sober again, give thanks for another sober day and a wee pat on the back for yourself. Tomorrow you start again, one day at a time.

here are some things you could do to prevent that first drink - talk to another alkie, go to a meeting, go to bed early, sleep late, eat something sweet, keep yourself full, don't get thirsty, don't go to the bar or the liquor shop / off licence. change where you shop, don't go down the drink aisle in the supermarket. avoid tempatation. Visualise every bottle of alcohol as having a skull and crossbones and the word poison on the label. remember what your last drunk was like - all the way through to when you woke up.

everyone goes to the pub don't they? where i live there are about 80 houses. let's assume that each house has an average occupancy of 2 adults. the local pub can accomate about 40 people tops. It's never packed out, there is never anyone unable to get served. Logic says that no, not everyone goes to the pub. just like not everyone drinks on a thursday.

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

Hey Bicycle,
Welcome. Its great that you are here. It sounds like you are just starting your quest for sobriety and are here rightfully looking for a "lifeline". That is great!!! We are with you. A great place to start is with this book.
http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm
Read "Bill's Story". See if you see any similarities with your life. You can stop with this program! Glance at the 12 steps. Seek out a meeting locally. Ask for help. Get a sponsor. Hang in there and look at the posts here. You will read many inspirational stories. You can do this.

toni baloney · Senior Member

Hi Nicholas,

Well going to ditto what has been said, the life changing events for most alcoholics, is the act of simply ASKING GOD to help you not Drink.

As far as it being Thursday nite, that reminded me of my old and very long "laundry list of reasons"

Good Weather
Bad Weather
Feeling happy
Feeling Sad
argument with husband
getting along really well with husband
Problems at work
Work is going SO well

I could go on and add about 100 more reasons, but I had a "lightbulb" moment when I finally, after Relapsing for 10 years, realized to me that all of the above I had made up, and the ONLY REASON I EVER GOT DRUNK was because I had and have a life threatening disease, called Alcoholism.

Compare it to having Cancer, dont know what stage you are at, but the only treatment for Alcoholism is Abstenance, and we Only have to Ask for His Help, and do this Recovery One day at a time. We can get into remission and use the AA Program and stay in Remission, one day at a time, we do this TOGETHER, never have to do it alone, so please come join us. PLEASE....

So how about going to a meeting and talking about being new, and being really really scared that you might drink, and tell the group why, too.

Want to tell you the story of (lets say her name is Mary) she was a young woman that was with others in a Womans Recovery Home. She was there because the police sent her there. She and some so called friends had been going into major Retailers and stealing thousands of dollars worth of merchandise, for their habit of Heroin, when she tells her story, about being in a jail cell, on a dark, damp cold floor going throuht major withdrawal from heroin, This very large and gruff Jail House Matron came into her cell and said to her, "You get down on your knees and ask God to help you get over what you are experiencing right now, and she continued with it does not matter whether you believe in God or NOT, "Ask HIM Anyway!!!"

When the Jail house Matron left, she said to herself, Ok, I will show her, she does not know what she is talking about......, grumble.... grumble.....

well she did just that, she was on her knees, and said to a God that she did not believe in, Please help me.

And every one in the room that is listening to her, now almost chilled and in tears, as she continued on to say that the Shaking completely stopped, her desire for heroin was gone, and that is how she was able to enter the court system and plead for a Womans Center as opposed to a Prison Sentence.

I was in that Center with her, and as an alcoholic in Recovery would see her over the years, telling her story, and the years went by, she had become a Legal Secretary and was also annoucning an engagement to this fabulous man in the AA Program. That was so very long ago, but this story was meant to show you how we can go from the trenches of hell, out into the sunshine, stay sober, and live for the very first fime.

This is the story of a woman of course, but gender is not an issue in the addiction area, that is my belief.

Wishing you just for today, go to a AA Meeting, ask God for HIS Help, and Repeat this Process, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tues and next Wednesday too. Oops, and forgot to repeat of course next Thursday too.

This is a very hard time for you, i can feel that, but there is Another Way. We have all experienced this other way. And mostly so you know, what someone else has already written, we have ALL experienced what you are going through too.

God Bless you, and sending a Big Hug to you, and again Please Come and Join Us Here too!!!

Toni

Hi, came back to just add a saying that is dear to my heart, and that is:

"at the center of our Pain, is EXACTLY where we will find GOD"

-- Edited by toni baloney on Friday 19th of June 2009 02:19:50 PM

kkotz401 · Senior Member

Have you considered an outpatient treatment program? That might be helpful to you. just try and stay positive. I have found going to church and volunteering helpful.

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

Aloha Bikemech...

I have a small suggestion which is easy to read and almost impossible but
necessary to do. Turn your self over to the program, steps, traditions, slogan,
suggestions. If you have an understanding of a Power Greater than yourself,
"abandon yourself to that higher power as you understand that higher power..."
Memorize these words and use them often..."Can you please help me." Ask
that of any recovering alcoholic with time and let them lead you out until you
can walk on your own. I never used Thursday as an excuse to drink. I only
drank because I could. No other reason was needed and no other reason was
honest. I did drink on Thursdays also. I could have been on a Thursday that
I had my last toxic shock experience. I have never had to crawl by elbows and
ankles into the bathroom to vomit blood, raw alcohol and other internal things
into the shower stall. It was the best I could do and the tallest I could get at
the moment. It could have been a Thursday and it doesn't matter. We have
thousands of excuses to drink and only one not to.

Struggle and don't drink. Let a sober member do your thinking. "Trust God,
clean house, help others." read the book...the big book.

(((((hugs))))) smile

maybee · Newbie

one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time, one week at a time, one month at a time, one year at a time. oh yeah one second at a time sometimes. it's the toughest think i ever had to go through. but with god at your side you can do it. get a sponsor and call them for support. thats what there for. go to a meeting and get some literature to read . you must change your daily routine and thought process right now, if you want to get sober and stay sober. your not a puppet with strings attached so gods not going to make you do it. he has given you the ability to make choices for yourself. its up to you to make the choice. you can do it others have before you. i've done it and did'nt think it was possible after 30 yrs of drinking. good luck.

Dave Harm · Senior Member

The part about one moment at a time is quite true. I drank 24/7 the last two years of my drinking. I slept with a 12 pack by the side of my bed - just in case I woke up in the middle of the night.

My early sobriety was broken down into ten minute frames. "Please Lord, just give me ten minutes.: Then I'd try for the next ten minutes. I loved going to bed at nights, even though sleeping didn't come easy, when it finally came I'd be guaranteed at least six more hours sobriety.

I did the ten minute routine my first two months in the program. As well as out patient counseling and anywhere from 5-10 meetings a week.

It's real easy to think about drinking... but it takes work thinking about sobriety. It can be done...

Good luck,
Dave

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

Hi Bikemech and welcome! AA can be very powerful if you let it and want it. I would just keep saying again and again "I really want to be sober" "I want it." Pray. Drown out the other thoughts with how bad you want to stay sober this time and then put one foot in front of the other and build a program based on how very badly you want to stop drinking and start a new way of life. AA is going to work for you best if you can really really remember always how badly you WANT to be sober. After that, the program will kick in and it will be easier. Don't pay attention to "I went to meetings and that didn't work" thoughts either. Replace with "This time I really WANT it" and that's why it is going to work. I am often told and reminded in meetings that drinking is a symptom of our illness. We all have a disorder of our thinking. We have a disease which tells us we don't have it, that the world is intolerable and we need to numb ourselves to it, and to go ahead and keep killing ourselves. It's the thoughts that determine whether you drink. Stay as positive as you can. You just put up with 4 days of detoxing on your own. That is hell and takes a lot of strength. You can do this, you've already gotten through some of the hardest part. Praying you keep strong and keep coming back!

Mark

Chewie · Member

My first sponsor got me in the habit of going to a meeting every day and not drinking in between. He went so far as to say, "Meet me here at 8 tomorrow, and all you have to do is stay sober until then." Then, after that meeting, it was the same thing: "Meet me at the 10 a.m. meeting tomorrow, and don't drink between now and then." Slowly, I put together a day, then a week, then a month. That's how it starts. But once the fog clears, get to work on those steps or you're dead.