>>When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to
>>take it
>>out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know --take it out
>>on
>>someone you don't know.
>>
>>I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had
>>forgotten to
>>make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying,
>>"Hello"  I
>>politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
>>
>>Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.  I couldn't believe
>>that anyone
>>could be so rude.  I realized I had called the wrong number.
>>
>>I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her.  I had
>>accidentally
>>transposed the last two digits of her phone number.  After hanging
>>up with
>>her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
>>
>>When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an
>>asshole!" and
>>hung up....  I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next
>>to it,
>>and put it in my desk drawer.
>>
>>Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
>>day, I'd
>>call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"  It always cheered me
>>up.
>>
>>When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
>>calling
>>would have to stop.  So, I called his number and said,  "Hi, this
>>is John
>>Smith from the Telephone Company.  I'm just calling to see if
>>you're
>>familiar with the Caller ID program?"
>>He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.  I quickly called him
>>back and
>>said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
>>
>>One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking
>>spot.
>>Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
>>patiently
>>waited for..  I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for
>>that
>>spot. The idiot ignored me.
>>
>>I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window . . so, I wrote down
>>his
>>number.  A couple of days later, right after calling the first
>>asshole (I
>>had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW
>>asshole
>>too. ......
>>
>>I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
>>"Yes, it is."
>>"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
>>"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the
>>car's
>>parked right out in front."
>>"What's your name?" I asked.
>>"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
>>"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
>>"I'm home every evening after five."
>>"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
>>"Yes?"
>>"Don, you're an asshole."
>>
>>Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now,
>>when I had
>>a problem, I had two assholes to call.  But after several months of
>>calling
>>them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be, so I came up with an
>>idea.
>>..........
>>
>>I called Asshole #1.
>>"Hello." ...........
>>"You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.).
>>"Are you still there?" he asked.
>>"Yeah," I said.
>>"Stop calling me," he screamed.
>>"Make me," I said.
>>"Who are you?" he asked. .........
>>"My name is Don Hansen.."
>>He said, "Yeah?   Where do you live?" .........
>>"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my
>>black
>>Beamer parked in front."
>>He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
>>saying
>>your prayers."
>>I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
>>
>>Then I called Asshole #2............
>>"Hello?" he said.
>>"Hello, asshole," I said.
>>He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are, I'll..."
>>"You'll what?" I said.
>>"I'll kick your ass,"  he exclaimed.
>>I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over
>>right now."
>>
>>Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I
>>lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there
>>to kill
>>my gay lover.
>>
>>Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West
>>34th
>>Street.
>>
>>I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.  When I
>>got
>>there, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
>>front of
>>six squad cars, a police helicopter, and the channel 13 news crew.
>>
>>NOW, I feel better - This is "Anger Management" at its very best.
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