Back at work

MDC · Senior Member

Back at work

toni baloney · Senior Member

Morning Mark,

Great news, and that Prayer of Help Me in the Morning, and Thank You at night, has worked for some for many years.

If you can continue to not drink, NO MATTER WHAT, then everything, no matter what, is going to be ok.

Hugs, staying away from people that are drinking is a Big Deal, and you are doing just that these days.

Hope you have a decent day,
Toni

toni baloney · Senior Member

Cannot see the Edit Post thing, but I wanted to add, Meetings, are you going, and/or have plans to go today???

Toni

MDC · Senior Member

I know I need to go, All I want to do is climb in bed. This depression is kicking my butt.

toni baloney · Senior Member

When we want to get in bed, pull covers over our heads, making the World go away, is EXACTLY THE TIME TO GO. Promise, you will feel so good about going when you dont feel like going.

Dont think it is about what we want, but rather, what we need in life, right.

Remember Mark, feelings are just feelings, and they are all transitory.

Good to see you here today my friend.
Toni

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hey Mark, It always feels worse then you're the one being rejected (or your perception is that). A while ago you told me that she was a bit humbled and wanted to work things out and you were thinking why bother. At that point you could've been the one "holding the smoking gun" but you hesitated for good reason. You'll feel alot better if you change your perception to this is a mutual decision to end this marriage and nobody dumped anyone. The reality is that we don't own anyone and no one owns us. We have the free will to pick up and leave anytime we want. With that said there no harm no foul about this, it's just something that happens to about 1 out 2 marriages, and probably 7 out of 10 (probably higher) in AA lol.

Don't give in to the depression. You already did that and stayed home from work for a couple weeks, that didn't solve anything and I don't think that your job is going be able to handle another vacation. Just get incredibly busy with meetings and extra curricular activities that don't revolve around drinking.

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

I tried to hold onto my old, sick relationship early in recovery. After 3mths sobriety we let go & put recovery first. It was hard & hurt like hell but for me it was the right thing to do. I had so much to learn & needed the independent space to do this effectively. Both of us had a program & it was still impossible to get on without the resentments & hurts of past behaviours, actions & attitudes. Despite whatever goodness was there also so much water under the bridge. So we let go & got on with our lives.

We both have different relationships today & couldn't be happier. We've made our amends & moved on in peace. It may be harder for you as you have the children to share but all of this will only help you grow so much more. 'Pain is weakness leaving the body'. I like what Dean has said regarding it being more mutual than you realise at times. After you've grown & healed in the coming months, you may well be continually surprised at what you Higher Power has revealed for you.

Keep up the good work, Mark. Your perseverance is inspirational. Good luck in your program. It will bring you much peace. Happy Sober Day today & 1Day@aTime, Danielle x

turninggrey · MIP Old Timer

MDC, You are the MAN! You are really hanging in there. I want you on my wing! Really, listen to the guys above who have been there. My only input is that when you are really tired and think you can sleep, my thing was to go to sleep and get the rest you will need. Of course going to a meeting is always a good thing, but its not like a cult or anything where you must attend to the detriment of your physical well being.
Hang tough!
Tom

jonijoni1 · MIP Old Timer

MD, I have got to give you a big high-5 right now for sticking with this, no matter HOW you are feeling. But self-help won't last, we need help. Turns out that, when we first get sober, all our feelings are magnified. Why? Because we suffocated them and drowned them all in alcohol for so many years. The feeling of being "abandoned" right now becomes the culmination of EVERY time you ever felt that way in your life, but you didn't allow yourself to feel it through, as long as you were drinking.

This goes away, with help. You gotta let yourself have new experiences that will replace and help get through those feelings that are coming up so hard on you right now.

You didn't WANT your wife's help before. Now you want support. Get that support from AA.

Remember, we can't do this alone. Recall a week or so ago, when you were getting ready to go get help at a meeting, but decided to drink instead. If you keep doing the same thing over and over, you will get the same results. Guaranteed. Loneliness, drunkenness, slef pity. The cycle will continue.

Take care, our friend, and know that we care about you so much. Please get to a meeting. If we were all in the same town, we would probably, a bunch of us, come over and drag your butt to a meeting right now (right Dean?). Imagine that we are there to do so, and please get to one!!

Joni