We recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to over come them.
The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spititual--almost incoprehensible. But it is there. I "feel" it. Today I feel that I can help people and that they can help me.
It is a new and exciting feeling for me to care for someone; to care what they are feeling, hoping for, praying for; to know their sadness, joy, horror, sorrow, grief; to want to share thoes feelings so that someone can have relief. I never knew how to do this--or how to try. I never even cared. The fellowship of AA, and God are teaching me how to care about others.
Not everthing is about me. the sooner I learned this I was better off. Get out of the way and be a part of not the whole part. God I was so damn selfish, still can be but not allowing me to get away with that. I just don't find that side of myself acceptable anymore. As a matter of fact- I find it embarasing and pathetic.
It is so true when they say you have to change everything, If I didn't try I would never see how wonderful this program really is. Which keeps me vigilant to my behaviors which keeps me right sized most of the time--for I will never be perfect.
"Teaching me how to care about others" . That's the thing! repeat this 10 times, emphasizing a different word each time....... TEACHING me how to care about others...... teaching ME how to care about others........ teaching me HOW to care about others...... teaching me how TO CARE about others...... teaching me how to care ABOUT OTHERS.
trying to get the program... we don't get it as long as we think it's about 'me' , me first, wrong focus on 'me'. It is not about separating myself from others for this excuse or that one, though as a last resort that might be necessary for some time. It is not about putting my self before others. This is not a 'me' program,,, but this is a 'we' program.
the thing is that we have cared about others in ways that weren't really good for them or ourselves,,, we controlled others, we depended on others, we abandoned others,,,, now we are learning HOW to care about others in ways that are really good for them and for our selves and for 'us' .
thanks very much for posting ,
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Been having a rough time. Trying to stay out of the pour mee's Time to get out of me. Time to go try to help someone. Amazing how much better it makes you feel. Got thru today by the grace of GOD. It's been a real test. It's all about GOD not me. Thanks for AA this site and you people
