I am struggling a lot with anxiety and aggression. It has definitley gotten worse since I quit drinking. I have always been an extremly nervous and anxious person, but the aggression, that has came out of no where. Did any of you deal with those types of things after becoming sober? If so, could you give me some advice? Thank you!
I don't have any advice I'm afraid, but I'm struggling with the same thing. I feel really irritable a lot of the time and angry that I can't sit out on a patio and have a beer now that Spring weather is here.
I didn't have these feelings for the first little while sober. I'm almost at three months now, and I'm wondering if this is the novelty wearing off and where the hard work begins! I've heard about this.
I was diagnosed with a panic disorder a long time ago and when I first got sober it was really overwhelming. I wanted out of my skin and I didn't have alcohol to stop it. I shared about the anxiety in a meeting and with several friends and got some great suggestion. But for me, it was something I had to walk through. At the time I didn't think it was ever going to end, but it did. My panic attacks are almost nil now too. People would just sit with me on the phone or beside me when it was happening. I didn't know it then, but it really helped. I realized, now too, that they may not have understood what was going on with me, but cared enough to just be there.
I don't think I was or am an aggressive person, at least I've never been accused of it. But, I did have some bouts with aggression earlier on. I believe that since you are aware of it, that half the battle. The other part, and sometimes the hardest for me, is doing the right thing while it's happening. My sponsor has drilled and drilled in to me that there is no good excuse for bad behavior. I also believe and this may sound funny, but I believe it was partly due to my body screaming for alcohol and I wasn't giving it any.
I think with me, when the "pink cloud" subsided and I was actually left to cope with life without alcohol, I found it so frustrating. This led to confusion, agression etc. The cunning, bafling and powerful alcohol sits patiently, trying to edge back in, trying to get me to justify a drink. Of course, knowing this is half the battle for me. I choose to just accept this as perfectly normal and know that it will pass. It always does. The rough spots are a test and remind me to keep focused on the big picture. Aggression is me just reacting to situations rather than exercising humility. Slow and steady wins the race.
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Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~Buddha
Hi Crystal, yes i did. I struggled with it for quite a while. Some I would say was due to my body and mind getting adjusted to life without drugs and alcohol and the rest was "growing pains". I believe that I stopped growing emotionally when I began drinking, which for me that was 8 years old. I got "stuck" there and a few other places along the way. When we are getting sober we need to make it to a year, whatever it takes and get through our first 6 steps during that year, in my opinion. I got a lot of relief from completing my 4th and 5th steps. After a year and getting comfortable with your sobriety, then a person can look deeper into the unresolved issues where we got "stuck". Go back and look at them, share it, accept it, forgive yourself and others, and move on. In the mean time, I'd up the meetings, cut out caffeine and sugar, work the steps, and practice relaxation techniques (meditation, deep breathing, yoga, exercise....) and self discipline.
I know the feeling Crystal. I've also been going through some tough times lately as weel. Try to keep things in perspective and not get stressed out. Try painting or some other type of hobby. It will help you get your mind off the tough times.
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You have to live life to the fullest because you don't know what you got till it's gone.
I discovered I had a sudden temper in early sobriety too, Crystal & I was so surprised having thought of myself a sweet, gentle (sulking!) soul for so long & then all of a sudden I'd get so frustrated & angry. Usually cuz something wasn't going my way or we were late & lost driving somewhere in the car. Anything really & I think it was early growing pains because I simply wasn't used to being sober for so long & had to learn new ways of releasing general tension that can build up. I'd certainly been in a pattern before of getting so far like a few days & then needing a blow out in drink. It's not like that today. I'm much more even tempered & have learned to look after myself physically. Yoga & meditation are fantasic for me. I remember the first time I chilled out without drink about 10weeks into sobriety where getting home from two seriously tense days at work & putting my key in the door, cooking some food in itself soothed, calmed & relaxed me. I found in sobriety I started to build these new associations & drink had nothing to do with it any more. It will get better for you. It has for me too :) Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
But, I did have some bouts with aggression earlier on. I believe that since you are aware of it, that half the battle. The other part, and sometimes the hardest for me, is doing the right thing while it's happening. My sponsor has drilled and drilled in to me that there is no good excuse for bad behavior. I also believe and this may sound funny, but I believe it was partly due to my body screaming for alcohol and I wasn't giving it any. 
