Usually, we do not avoid a place where there is drinking--if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, night clubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary parties.
You will note that we made an important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere?" Then go or stay away, whichever seems better. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it.
If you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!
Great advice, and in your first couple years, think about taking another sober person with you. That's the fellowship is for. If I didn't have someone to go with me, I'd ask my higher power to go with me just before leaving for the occasion.
In my first year, I had a family gathering to go to. No one, but my husband, knew what I was trying to do and I found while my husband was an alright source, it might have been a little easier if I'd ask one of us to come along.
I'd been drinking and drunk for so many years, I didn't realize how much liquor was there and I didn't realize how much these people drank. I did make it through with out a drink, but by the end of the gathering I was mentally worn out.
I'm 4 years sober and I find I still, and probably always will, need the support of my fellows.
That would be a no for me...at least for a bit longer. For almost 6 months I have not been to a bar. I did not go to my work christmas party. I did not go to any New Year's party. I just knew for me that I didn't want any temptations and I didn't have ANY desire to be around drunk people. Not sure when this will change and not sure if it should change (at least as far as bars are concerned).
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Smart move pinkchip, way to insure your sobriety. There is no such thing as being too cautious about your sobriety considering that only 1 out of 20 are going to make it. 19 others will make poor decisions and relapse. Some come back, and a lot of others don't.
-- Edited by StPeteDean on Thursday 19th of March 2009 11:00:25 AM
"Therefore, ask yourself, "Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere?"
Great advice for being honest with yourself. It is something I will think about!
Thanks Dean. The 1 in 20 thing is something I have really taken to heart from you. A while back when I wrote about people relapsing, I didn't have as much experience seeing it. The friend I was mainly writing about has now since lost his job, his home, and is back on the streets and I am worried he will be dead soon. So yeah, it is serious business and I/We have to remain vigilant.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
We used to have a regular leader of meetings in the AA club that I got sober in (Unity Club Falls Church, VA). During his opening comments as he started the meeting he would remind us how fortunate we were and how grateful we should be, to be in that meeting by reminding us "Every one of you is sitting in a dead man's chair". I have a sincerely huge amount of gratitude for the 19 people that left so that I can stay sober an in the rooms. His comments prompted me to ask myself regularly "what am I doing, in my program, that's better than that 19 people that will have to leave for me to stay here?" It's like a combination of musical chairs and Russian roulette.
