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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> for the women,ok,you men can look too...
Post Info TOPIC: for the women,ok,you men can look too...
cheri


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for the women,ok,you men can look too...
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My sponsor emailed this to me...thought you all would get a chuckle out of it!


20 ways for women to tell if they've had too much to drink


1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is


2. I truly believe that dancing with my arms in the air and wiggling my butt while yelling "WHOO HOO" is the sexiest dance move around.


3. I've suddenly decided that I want to kick somebody's a** and honestly believe that I can do it too.


4. In my last trip to pee, I looked more like a homeless hooker than the goddess I was 4 hours ago.


5. I drop my 3am sandwich (which i'm eating, although I am not the slightest bit hungry) on the floor, pick it up and continue eating it.


6. I start crying and telling everyone that I see that I love them sooooo much.


7. I get extremely excited and start jumping up and down every time a new song starts to play because "OH MY GOD!! I LOVE THIS SONG!"


8. I've found a deeper, spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.


9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my fifth grade teacher.


10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table, and sing or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.


11.My eyes don't want to stay open so I leave them half closed and think it's exotically sexy.


12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and I'm good at it.


13. I yell at the bartender who cheated me by giving me only lemonade because I can no longer taste the gin.


14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like a hot pocket.


15. I start every conversation with a booming "DON'T take this the wrong way, BUT..."


16. I fail to notice the toilet seat is down.


17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take down moves.


18. I'm tired so I just sit down on the floor and take a quick nap.


19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my pants to cut down the time I'm away from my drink in the bathroom.


20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault I'm having trouble walking straight.  


Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. The best part of recovery for me is the ability to laugh at myself.


Love to all,


cheri



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christine


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Oh dear! The only thing I can HONESTLY add to that list of previous behavior is this:


Suddently and overwhelmingly have the desire and the ability to completely slide down the circular stairway of a 747 in full view of the entire passengers with my skirt somewhere north of my waist.


How wonderful to leave that all in the past, as viewed through a glass door.


thanks for sharing that green view. hugs



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Phil


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Hey Cheri?  I still do some of this stuff sober, and Im not a woman. hehehe  Must be my feminine side. :)


hmmmm    oh well  time to put on my make up and play a Tammy Wynett tape.:) Hugs to yu Gal.


And thanku Ellen. :) Its nice to be missed. There was a time when I wasnt. hehehe  You have a great weekend.


Gammy ole Gal? You are loved.  I have a new freind in Alanon thats getting used to the enmotional turmoils that can affect her, by a newly sober husband. One of the first statements at a meeting was, "Ide like to rip his friggin face off."  hehehe  That statement in itself, sure unloads a lot of anger. :)


Keep Smilin my freinds. Youll drive your enemies nuts. :)


 


 


 



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GammyRose


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Well Cheri, I'm with Phil , I still do some of the same stuff.Purse, where is my purse , it's a really big red one,hard to lose, and don't forget the keys,that are attached to a langard, that lools like a flag, there suppose to be around my neck....hmmmmm.#2 The dance thing, I was at an AA function recently and all of us recovering females were out on the dance floor with our arms in the air wiggling our butts while yelling "Whoo Hoo" and it is still sexy. The guys were all looking at us ,saying things like "if a group of guys got out there it would look weird", Chickens! Come to think of it there were several Al-anon's out there with us, we had a blast. Maybe it's a Texas thing, but somethings will remain the same even when we get sober.


Thanks for the laugh, I can sure relate. I never want to forget where I came from, because some of it I never want to go back to.Tell your sponsor thanks too.


(((Hugs)))


Gammy Rose


 



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Nic


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Ah Cheri!


That was such good value. It had me laughing outloud. I have to admit to shuddering amid the laughter...cos some of those things came whooshing back with very clear flashbacks!


Scary isn't it?... How we delude ourselves at the entertainment (or annoyance) of everyone around us once we turn into those goddesses of grog?


Certainly good to laugh in hindsight.



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miller


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I have to admit, Ive done the hot pocket pillow myself.


I used to suddenly develope a bum knee that caused me to stumble repeatedly when I was drinking, but never bothered me when I was sober.


Great list Cheri.  :)  I needed a laugh.



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wantneeda


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LMAO...........i could add to the list but then it would become a book....hmmmm...


I used to say.when i grow up i wanna be just like me..........ya, what was i thinkin!!! well, that's just it i guess, I wasn't.


Thank you for the laughs and a couple trips down memory lane.............\\//peace



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