The kid has been doing so well over the last 5 months! Got his GED, is working FULL time, likes his job, paying his bills, etc. THEN his Girlfriend came home from rehab on Friday! It's been downhill since. He didn't go to work Sunday! They had unprotected sex at his ex stepfather's house (where he's living) and the ex is LIVID! So, the kid comes by here, we have a long talk, he can't figure out why everyone is so upset so he leaves here, mad with me, and I have no idea where he was headed. He's afraid of the fallout that will happen if he goes 'home'. He can't go to the g/f's, she's with her grandparents! So, my son is out in 22 degree weather somewhere.........Just like a mother, I"m so scared for him......
Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers that he will 'get it' and do the next right thing. As I said, he's been doing soooo well............
Thanks for letting me share.
Jen
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Goodluck to your boy & I hope he learns from his experiences. It's a shame we often learn more from our mistakes than getting it right! He'll learn like we all do & he's lucky to have you too. I don't have children myself, can only remember what it was like for me. I never listened. Advice was often just a theory to me & didn't make sense until I found out for myself! I'm sure he'll be ok. He has your love & support through thick & thin even when you have to be tough, Jen. I know you're doing your best & your boy has his own Higher Power too. Prayers going up for you all. Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Hey Doll - when I read your post my sponsor's voice came into my head. (it's a good day
Anyway, I believe what she would share is to remember to take of yourself first. We can't help anyone if we're not fit. The other is to give him to God.
Perhaps this is yet another 'letting go' and allowing him his own choices. And perhaps a stay in the cold air, if he is out there, will clear his thinking. Prayers going up!!!!!
Perhaps this is yet another 'letting go' and allowing him his own choices. And perhaps a stay in the cold air, if he is out there, will clear his thinking. Prayers going up!!!!!
Yes, this is such a hard thing for parents. We want them to have all good things and not experience anything that may be harmful. But as learning wrote, this is something that as a parent we have to let go, and pray the offspring finds his way.
And of course if there is anything that can help, we would do it!
Hey Doll You are in my thoughts and prayers and I can imagine the anguish you are going through. You have done such a great job "planting the seed" and hopefully he will remember the things you have taught him and showed him to do.
Its a scary thing and I can see my own 17 yr old daughter failing at doing the next right thing. I talk to her and pray for her on a daily basis but ultimately, she will use her own self will to do what she thinks is the best for her. Talk of "i cant wait until Im 18" and "not going to college" floor me. Shes doing okay for now but I fear for her at times. Im glad I can follow your advise and actions and the suggestions on this board to at least keep ME serene and sober!!!
Hugs to you!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I just wanted to late you know that I'll be thinking of you both and well I'm sure that, I'm sure that things will work out. And that if your son has been doing so well that he'll do the right thing. I've been there with my children and your not alone it's ok to worry about them, shows that you love your son very much.
Just trust that things have a way of working out... I have faith that things will work out, i know that is easier said than done at the moment.
Sounds like at least he is being honest with you to a degree. Otherwise, you wouldn't know about the unprotected sex part i guess. If I think back to being a teenager, I know I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend plenty of times. I sure am glad that I don't have an 18 year old child now because I don't think I would have stepped up to the plate very well. It also sounds like he has some caretaking/codependency stuff in the making. If the girl is straight out of rehab, she really needs some time to sort out her head. I wonder if he could understand that. Reinforcing her neediness and such right out of rehab is going to make her want to use again so she can get the same reaction he just gave her. In any case, sounds like young love and we all do some really dumb stuff in that stage of life. I try not to bust out the child therapist in me when sharing and posting, but I can't help it at times. I am praying for your son, but also I recommend talking to him about his feelings if you can. All the yelling and disapproval is going to go nowhere because he is going to do whatever he feels like. I'd be inclined to go with something like "So, you really care about this girl and it seems like you love her. You really missed her when she was in rehab huh?" "I think it's really admirable that you want to help her and care about her still, even though she's having such a hard time." Basically, validate the feelings and he might open up more and give you a chance to be a parent and teach him how to care about someone in a less codependent and destructive way. Just a suggestion...and trying to fix people emotionally is one of my character defects because I never leave it at work lol...and I never follow my own suggestions that I give to others.
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