Anger is a completely normal and healthy emotion to feel and to express in a constructive manner.  

You may experience some or all of the following:

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  Irritability.

  
  
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  Feeling frustrated.

  
  
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  Feeling resentment.

  
  
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  Indirectly expressing anger by withdrawing or withholding affection.

  
  
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  Physical reactions such as clenched fists and jaw, tensing muscles, increase in blood pressure, and increase in heart rate.

  
  
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  Being confrontational and argumentative.

  
  
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  Yelling.

  
  
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  Resorting to foul language.

  
  
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  Desire to lash out

  
  
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  Being out of control; for example, throwing things around, slamming doors, driving recklessly.

  
  
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  Hitting or threatening physical harm.  

Anger can be caused by an aggravating situation that interferes with our day to day tasks such as being stuck in a traffic jam or having to wait in line. Anger is also evoked when we feel helpless to solve a problem. We can also become angry with other people when they fail to meet our expectations or disappoint us in some way. And finally, when people feel they are not being valued and appreciated, feelings of anger also tend to arise.   

Anger, if expressed constructively, can be an important means of getting your needs met. However, if anger becomes destructive it can lead to problems at home, work or with the law. People often avoid expressing anger because they are afraid of the other person's reaction and of repercussions. Women, especially, may supress anger as it conflicts with gender stereotypes. Anger that is avoided, however, may be turned inward and has been thought to contribute to depression, hypertension and high blood pressure. People who cannot directly express their anger sometimes displace it onto less threatening situations or people. For instance, you may get angry with the store clerkr rather than with an authority figure like your professor. Suppressed anger can lead one to become hostile,
cynical, and critical.  

Ways you might try to constructively express anger include the following:

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  Try to avoid "you always" or "you never" statements as they make the other person feel blamed and thus defensive.

  
  
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  If you feel very angry take some time out to calm down. This way you avoid saying things you may later regret.

  
  
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  Try to remember that when you feel angry there is a tendency to exaggerate and to think, for example, that everything is ruined or bad. Therefore, let time pass before making decisions.

  
  
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  To avoid creating anger try to pick appropriate times to address issues.

  
  
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  For example, do not bring something up just before a person has an important exam.

  
  
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  If you cannot change a person/situation you can either try to accept it or consider making some changes yourself.  

You may need help if:

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  You find your anger is destructive - for example, you are violent, having trouble with the law or alienating people

  
  
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  You feel you are "bottling' your anger and feel you could explode.  

Some recommended books are:

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  Middleton-Moz, J. (1999). Boiling Point. Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, Inc.

  
  
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  Peurifox, R. Z. (1999). Anger: taming the beast. New York: Kodansha International.

  
  
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  Lerner, H. G. (1985). The dance of anger: A woman's guide to changing the patterns of intimate relationships. New York: Harper & Row.