This one is something I've been struggling with.  I am living alone for the first time in my life.  I ended a 7 year relationship with an alcoholic, started completely over and began getting sober the day before the break up.  I had zero stability and what seemed like no support and had to build it all back.  I also have a history of depression and that got triggered by all the changes I was going through.  I also am gay...I also am a therapist who works in the substance abuse field so I figured this made me uniquely different also because, while I know plenty of people that get sober and then work in the field, I don't know any that were doing it before getting sober.  I never went to detox, rehab, or a halfway house.  I started this journey mostly alone.  My entire family lives 1000 miles away.  In all these aspects I slip into self-pity and think I am the most unique person with my problems.  Over the months in AA I sort of have come to realize I ought to be grateful to have my own place to live in, to have supportive family even though they live far away, to have the most accepting gay recovery community in the world surrounding me, to have inspiration to stay sober for the individuals I work to help, and that living alone can sometimes be a gift.  Hearing other's stories now, I see that, even if my problems are unique in any way, they often are not as bad as the ones others had and I did not have to scrape myself up from a bottom as bad as it could have been.  I am lucky and grateful when I force myself out of my diseased thinking.  It's hard this early though because I am constantly in my head and the "committee" never stops.  I have little coping skills for stopping these runaway thoughts and my immediate impulse is to share all about MY thoughts and MY feelings...I couldn't listen at all for about a month.  Now I listen well in meetings (I still open my mouth too much, but usually in beginners meetings in which they are structured for newcomers to share), but when on my own, it's hard.  I would love to just focus more on the world around me and be accepting and happy that I am in it, but my brain is just not working that way yet.  I only focus on how hard this struggle is for me.  It turns off a little bit when I help others throughout the day, but even then, I often try to help by relating MY struggles.  I strive to be a person that can listen better and just be a part of.  When does obsessive thinking about oneself start to get better?  For me it's gotten less negative, but it is still a constant running dialog in my head that I used to be able to shut off with alcohol and now cant/dont.  Stress piles up now and I often just blurt stuff out all about me because I gave up the medication (alcohol) that allowed me to just say "I don't care and forget about it." I could really use the experience, strength and hope of others in this area, because I am very tired of being so self-absorbed and I am starting to really beat myself up about it.