I just wanted to start this topic because it does seem like a lot of people check out this website before coming to any meetings and because it is a first step for them in seeking out AA. One of my initial fears was that if I conceded I was an alcoholic, I would never be able to have fun again. All the clubs and the bars would be gone. I would lose the nerve to strike up conversations and make new friends, have sex, to cut loose, to relax, and to have a "normal life." I thought my life would just consist of one boring meeting after another quoting dumb sayings and being brainwashed into becoming some sort of bitter know it all religious zombie. What happened is quite different.
At my first meeting, I heard a speaker telling his story (someone I am now sort of friends with and respect a lot). I sat with my jaw open because his story contained all the elements of craziness that I had sunk into in my own drinking. In fact, it was even worse and it had lasted longer. I figured, if he had gotten sober to the point of being able to share that story and had stayed sober for 9 more years, I might be able to do it to. His story was animated and full of laughter, even though it was tragic. I have found that most meetings are full of at least a few moments of gut busting laughter. Smaller meetings are not like that but are much more moving and spiritual. People came up to me as a newcomer and immediately gave me their phone numbers. This had never happened to me before. I was detoxing in the first week so I called some of them and they were so helpful. They explained how it would subside and they gave me hope plus some practical solutions like drinking lots of water and eating candy to curb cravings. Also one of the first things I learned to avoid serious cravings was HALT which was to try not to let myself get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. I was not able to eat or sleep for the first week and I felt very lonely.
I had like 3 phone numbers in my cell phone when I came into AA because my world had gotten so small. Now I have like 30. Within a month, I was going to gatherings at peoples houses. I made it through thanksgiving and christmas with no problems because there were meetings running all day at the club house if I felt alone or like drinking (which I didn't). My sponsor invited me to his house on both of those days and I had dinner there. Also I started going to game nights with other people I'd met and just calling people whose numbers I had to check up and check in. Life sort of returned to me and my eyes opened to the fact that people were living their lives and that life was fun and interesting without drinking. Cap that off with Valentine's Day. There are always fund raisers to attend as well as anniversary parties. These are often very fun. Valentine's day consisted of a drag show event with like 300 people from the fellowship at it. By this time I knew almost half of them and it was the most fun I've had in a long time (yeah it is a gay fellowship) but I'm guessing the straight one's have their events too. I've been to plenty of "regular" meetings too and those have the same quality of laughter, fellowship, and fun. I even sometimes attend a very serene meeting on the beach and they have breakfast afterwards at that one and a lot of people stay and hang out at the beach. Anyhow, what I have now after 4 and a half months is a network of contacts (some closer than others). I have people I can call and have meaningful conversations with instead of stupid drunk ones that I don't remember and often regretted when I had them. I have something to do everyday that I look forward too. I never stopped going to work through all of this. I used to not be able to drive home without feeling that tremendous stress and desire to quell it by stopping off at the 7/11 and buying a big ass bottle of wine and starting to drink it on the way home. Now I drive past that 7/11 and the liquor stores and the bars and look forward to going to meetings and other things. This is not to say life is so peachy and great. I am still working on other ways of having fun. I am still growing and have many issues to work on, but I have direction and a sponsor to help me. One thing I am able to do with a bit more time now is to reach out and help others in a different way. I have been a therapist and thought I was always doing this in some fashion, but it is not the same as helping people from this perspective in an honest way and people who have the same problem I do. That is why I post on this board so much. I just hope anyone who is scared to go to meetings, scared about being an alcoholic, and scared of AA will read this and feel more at ease. It's a struggle, but well worth it. I am interested in hearing what others do to have fun in their sobriety. I am doing okay, but the suggestions from others could help me even more. Thanks,
Mark
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I must say - The WORST day of my life SOBER is no comparison to my BEST day DRUNK!
Never, do I want to go back to the insanity of alcohol.....I love my sober life. All great? NO WAY. But in sobriety I can HANDLE problems instead of either a) making them worse or b) just hoping they'll go away.
I, too, was terrified of living life without booze. Because I didn't know how. AA has taught me to walk through that fear and sooo many other things life has thrown at me since I attended my first meeting July 2, 2005.
If you're new and 'afraid' -- you're not alone. We've ALL been there.
Just TRY a meeting. If it's not for you, you can always go back to drinking!
Jen
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
This is so very refreshing to read. : ) Thank-you for posting this! I have been able to cut down on drinking alcohol, to less than one time per week. My days of sobriety have been just excellent. When I am sober all week long I can do the things I need to do with so much ease. Happiness is very easy to have, less hangover and confusional thinking. Other kinds of meetings are by far more productive, the ability to problem solve and add to the group with true joy, is so much more rewarding than going in with a hangover. I love the idea of drinking lots of water and eating candy. And that HALT, hungry angry lonely tired- keeping things positive as possible is great advice. For Valentines day we probably didn't have as much fun as you did, ! But we went to have lunch at a nice place and had no liquor. But a great meal. Saves a lot of money when we don't drink! Conversation is by far more interesting and pleasant!
This one strikes home with me as well. The fun I thought I was having drinking stop 3 years prior to surrending for me. My last 3 years of drinking was in isolation, byself and not much fun. I drank because I obsessed about it all day and once I started the compulsion(allergy) kicked in and I couldn't stop. My diesase and drinking were now making the choices for me. Just the serenity and peace I have today, when working my program, far outweighs the horrible days and hoplessness I suffered when I drank. The program has allowed my to rely on a higher power to control people, places and things and a freedom from self. I can now wake up in the morning with a clear head, be grateful for another day, be happy with myself and do the things I like to do and not look over my shoulder in fear. Acceptance is now a big part of my life and I love it..
Great share... I think the bottom line in having fun is you have to look for it....A lot of people get angry because no one calls them or they never do anything...WE, I, need to be the one to reach out to others.....Asking for phone numbers, going out to lunch with the group when they are going...lots of times people ask me to go but if Im not open to the suggestions of others I could end up alone. Dont be afraid to get involved...it is up to us to become a part of this wonderful fellowship!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Thing about sociability is that when we are sober, our personality becomes brighter, happier, most correspondent! When under the influence of or coming out of that influence of alcohol, the personality suffers greatly. Who wants to be around a hung over drunk? Other than other drunks.. (when we are like that we don't want to be around ourselves, such a vicious thing it is.)
Sober days are happy good days. All is well with the world,- and even if bad stuff happens , while sober it is so much better to deal with it ...
The first time I went to AA I knew that I had a problem. But, I couldn't imagine ever being happy again with alcohol. I left AA after eight weeks, but went back eighteen months later.
I was never having fun while I was drinking, so I figured that I had nothing to lose. But, within a very short time I found that I was having fun and starting to enjoy life again after many years of just existing. The longer I am around AA the better life gets.
Now, instead of being filled with shame and so fearful of everything, life is great. The worst sober day I have doesn't compare with the best drunk day. My only fear now is that I will pick up a drink again one day. That's why I keep going to my meetings.
If you're thinking about going to a meeting, just try it. You'll be mazed at how welcoming everybody is and how terrific life can be without alcohol. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I have the same fun..I just drink usually ginger-ale...my friends...beer wine and whiskey.."What's wrong with ginger-ale".?..That's what I drank at the superbowl party...the food terrific..the company great.
As a recovered alkie...the 12 step restores me to a normal life without booze..None of my drinking friends ever even bring it up...ie the fact I don't drink...but we are not exactly spring chickens...people my age are discreet over those issues...not like youth.
I'm still at the point where I can't (or rather choose not to be around) alcohol at all. I avoided superbowl parties where I knew people would be drinking. Fortunately or unfortunately, fun for me at the moment means staying completely away from people, places, and things that involve alcohol and committing to sober activities. I simply to not have the sobriety time to be around people drinking. Does that come with more time Tomas? Just wondering. I'm still at the phase where I think alcohol is evil and even though I know it's really just evil for me.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
