Quote of the Week "Resentment - Taking poison and hoping the other person dies."
Boy was this a shocker the first time I heard it. I was new in recovery and I had so many resentments that I didn't even know about them all yet. What I also didn't realize was that the people, places and things I resented didn't know or care about how I felt. The only person suffering from my resentments was me. When I started working the fourth step - made a searching and fearless moral inventory - I began to see all the resentments I had secretly been harboring. As I uncovered, discovered and then discarded them, I felt a new freedom and a sense of peace and happiness came into my life. Today, I understand the danger and futility of having resentments. Today I prefer to remain comfortable in my own skin so whenever I'm upset or feeling slighted, I look for my part and clean my side of the street. If I'm still feeling resentful, I pray for the other person for two weeks - this always works. Today, I no longer let resentments poison me, because today I choose to live happy, joyous and free.
I have not gotten to the 4th step as I am so early in recovery, but yesterday I called my parents and was saying how hard I was trying to pay my bills, be a responsible person, and how hard I was working. I have been getting up at 8 am, working until 8 pm sometimes, then going to a meeting and getting home at 9:30 or 10. I have been trying so hard to adapt to a new life of responsibility and being more of an adult. When I talked to my parents, my mother just laid more crap on me about checking my car insurance because it sounded like I was paying too much, and saving letters about my mortage because it is still to high. I hung up feeling so resentful because there was no "I love you" no "I'm proud of you" and no "I know what you are going through is hard." I resent that, but that is the family I have and I know I need to let it go. My parents enable me still financially and they provide little in the way of outward signs of love and approval. Something I definitely need to work on. Especially since it also feuls my continual effort to find approval acceptance and love in relationships instead of within myself. Probably resentment #1 goes to my mother even though I know she is just doing what she knows how to do with the tools that have been given to her.
__________________
Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
For most family's words of endearment are generally reserved in books and the movies..It is actions that are important...Sound like you have fine parents.....Try doing always your part and showing gratitude, particularly in these times when things economically are difficult.
Demonstrate your sober personality..even in family's it's attraction rather than promotion ..let them see the growth..as a gift to them
