After trying to stop smoking countless times for over two decades I was finally able to kick it a while back. My success wasn't due to some wonder drug, nicotine gum/lip balm/inhaler, or any of the other dozens of things I had tried in the past. What finally helped me say goodbye to tobacco permanently was a simple little book written by a man who wasn't a doctor or a scientist or mystic or guru of any kind. He was just a guy like me who had realized some simple truths. In less than 200 word he made me realize that the reason I continued to smoke and failed at quitting was because deep in my psyche I believed two myths. The first was that I convinced myself that I actually liked smoking, and the second was that I believed with all my heart that it was difficult to stop. It sounds ridiculously simplistic without going in to detail but all I can tell you is that since I finished that book and eliminated those myths from my mind I haven't smoked or even had the desire to smoke.
What does this have to do with AA you ask? Well, in some ways doesn't the program condition us to believe similar myths about alcohol? Doesn't it build booze up into this almighty, powerful monster who rules us weak and pathetic alcoholics with an iron fist! In reality, for most alcoholics I know, stopping drinking isn't a physically painful experience. Most of us did it numerous times throughout our drinking careers, whether it was for a day a week a month, we did it often without being doubled over the toilet in agony. So is it possible that what keeps us drinking, or addicted to anything for that matter, is similar to what this gentleman described in the book about smoking? That our belief that stopping is far more difficult than it is programs us to fail? And isn't it possible that what causes us to relapse is the deep psychological belief that we actually like drinking or that it gives us something we want or need? When in reality nothing could be further from the truth.
If you're a smoker and you want to stop the book is 'Allen Carr's Easyway To stop Smoking'. Not only did it help me stop smoking but it gave me a lot of insight into addiction and the role the lies we tell ourselves play in keeping us hooked.
Cigarettes for me was an issue, I was somking 40 a day and was at university, I could not afford the habit. One morning a thought crossed my mind "What can I steal to get some money for some cigarretes". That thought scared me enough to stop right there.
I took the view that if alcohol was only a symptom of my illness then tabbaco might be the same.
It was, I wanted to stop & I used the program and it worked. I still went to smoking meetings (we had them then), it was only me who had to stop not the world.
My experience is that over the years all the people I have got to know in AA have something other than alcohol to deal with.
This is why the program is there, perhaps there is some facet of my life I used the program on and someone says "What's that got to do with alcohol"? It might not be for them at this time, but it might be in the future and it might be threatening my sobriety now.
If the only thing an alcoholic had to do was to stop drinking the Big Book would only say "Don't pick up the first drink, that's it".
Other issues can be trivial at one stage of sobriety, but become monsters later. Gambling, porn, affairs, over eating, buying stuff I don't need, road rage. You may have laughed at some in the list, but at some point in the future they might be the cause of your relapse.
You can buy specialist books on any of these issues, but you might revisit the Big Book and do some step work and find the result just as satisfactory.
I continued to smoke and failed at quitting was because deep in my psyche I believed two myths. The first was that I convinced myself that I actually liked smoking, and the second was that I believed with all my heart that it was difficult to stop. It sounds ridiculously simplistic without going in to detail but all I can tell you is that since I finished that book and eliminated those myths from my mind I haven't smoked or even had the desire to smoke.
I quit smoking, for the last time, 21 years ago this april. What you read is correct, we have to change the messages that we send to ourselves. When I craved a cigareete my mind was telling that "it was going to taste sooo good" and then when I had one it didn't. It was just my mind pushing my buttons to get the nicotine. The same is true for alcohol, it tastes terrible like witch hazel or something aweful, yet my brain would tell me how great a beer would taste, and that it would satisfy my thirst... So I had to create new messages to confront the old ones, dispell them, prove them wrong, and ultimately replace them. Congrats TM, you're on the right path and you're teaching me something.
February 14th I'll have six months smoke free because I stopped believing the lies that addiction was telling me. There was one moment I nearly caved a week after quitting where I was at a party with all manner of madness going on & I was craving a smoke to cope. I nearly begged Carl to give me one of his & he said No! outright along with a friend of mine. I looked from one to the other & could have demanded further but was so grateful for that support that I used it with my will (meaning I made the effort to surrender) & didn't challenge further. I knew I didn't want to smoke anyway. Lucky for me I didn't smoke on that occasion. It's been a 'cake walk' since! lol
Obviously I don't put myself into situations like that very often & I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. Newcomers need to learn not to expose ourselves to drinking situations unduly. The guy who was having the party is my boyfriend's sponsor & they still have contact with a lot of life long friends who drink & use. The nice thing being that these two are a good example & available whenever anyone wants to move out of that lifestyle. Another of their friends has joined the fellowship & got 6mths or so already.
For anyone who's quitting or wants to quit, I believe there will be one or two killer cravings to get through but do it & you're home free as long as you keep your vigilance afterwards & keep giving yourself positive strokes for being quit. I love that my health, youth & vitality is back in energy & forward motion. I got sober to live a good life so it's another gift of recovery for me. Thanks for sharing your inspiration with us, J :) Danielle x
-- Edited by Sobrietyspell at 21:41, 2009-02-08
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