new to all of this

lost4now · Newbie

new to all of this

Daveypoos · Member

Open meetings you can take a friend/relative with you, closed is just for people who want to stop drinking (even if they do not consider themselves to be alcoholic). Where I live it would be common that if a newcommer attended and wanted someone to be with them the group would vote to make the closed meeting open, but I cannot say that happens everywhere.

Meetings follow a number of formats, there are slight differences from country to country and even between local areas.

The serenity prayer was said at the begining when I was in California, but in the UK it is usually at the end, in California they used to say the lords prayer at the end, I only know of 1 meeting in the UK that says the lords prayer at all.

Speaker meetings, someone will tell you what their life was before and after joining AA.

Step meetings concentrate on the 12 step recovery program, my local group has a custom that if a new commer is present we revert to step 1.

Big Book/As Bill Sees it concentrate on those books.

In general some reading, someone does a longish talk then the other members get to share (talk).

Most meetings last 90 minutes, some an hour. Some go around the room speaking, some you have to hold your hand up, some you just have to be quick when someone stops talking.

My home group has dedicated 10 minutes of the meeting for new commers and shy sharers (so people like me have to shut up).

Don't judge AA on one meeting, try different ones, like all things in life you will find what you feel comfortable with.

Try to get a sponser ASAP. This is someone who has some long term sobriety and practices the 12 step program. Your sponsor isn't for life, you can change any time you want, they are there to help you get going on the steps, explain the stuff you don't understand, and just to be there when you want to talk to someone.

What does the sponsor get out of it? Stick around a few years and find out for yourself. We need new commers to remind us what hell it was, you may not realise it but you probably will help your sponsor more than you could know.

I would recomend you buy or download the Big Book & read the first 164 pages, this is the escance of recovery. Try to get to as many meetings as you can, and get people phone numbers AND CALL THEM!!!!

Look forward to life, if you stick with us it is going to get better!

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi Lost4now,

Welcome to MIP. I'm glad that you are here with us.

Well done on one day of sobriety! That is great. Just keep going one day at a time.

Well done on finding out where your local AA meeting is tomorrow. I need my meetings to help keep me sober. I couldn't do it on my own, but I can with AA's help.

Open and closed meetings are the same (here in England) expect that in closed meetings only alcoholics can attend. In open meetings friends or family members can go with you.

Meetings take different forms. There are discussion meetings, Big Book study meetings, and step meetings. You will not be required to take part if you don't want to. You can simply sit and listen.

It might be worth letting a few people know that you are new to AA and that will give them the chance to give your their 'phone numbers in case you want to talk to another alcoholic.

You will be made to feel very welcome and introduced to other members of the group. My first meeting was an amazing experience and I just knew that I was in the right place.

In the meantime, you could try reading some AA literature. It helped to keep me focused and made me realize that I wasn't on my own. Here's a link to our Big Book until you can buy one:-

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?

Take care,

Carol

Jane05 · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Lost4now!! So, glad you're here. I can't add much more, other than, going to my first A.A. meeting is the absolutly best thing I've ever done for myself. "Life has taken on a new meaning!"

Please come back and tell us all about it!!

-- Edited by Jane05 at 09:24, 2009-02-04

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

nothing to add to the above, except for go to meetings every day. You presumably drank daily, so taking a hour a day to hit a meeting is something that you have time for. 90 meetings in 90 days is the course that most of us wound up taking. It will definitely increase you chances of staying sober, which are about 1 in 20. It takes dedication and putting your sobriety first in front of everything else. Because anything that you put in front of your sobriety, you'll lose anyway, if you start drinking again.

Good luck with you new journey.

Dean

-- Edited by StPeteDean at 10:19, 2009-02-04

lost4now · Newbie

Hello group,
All I can say is if the meetings are anything like this forum. The support and encouragement I will get there will surely help me in my journey. I never admitted to myself or anyone else that I am an alcoholic. I don't drink every day, but I know I am an alcoholic because, I am a fall down drunk whenever I do drink. Doesn't matter who's around or what the situation. I do find it odd that once you admit you're an alcoholic, everyone around you expects proof that you are doing something about it. Like, family, friends, and colleagues. I find it difficult to show that I am going to, am doing something. I told them about the online forum, but apparently they need proof. Has anyone else been through this, and how did you handle it. Clearly, I am lost right now. I keep telling them that I can not give a therapy/meeting schedule as I am just getting through today. Right now, it seems like a bunch of noise. I have sort of closed my self off, as the only way I can seem to get through today is just concentrate on not drinking and getting through the day. Second day sober is going pretty well, but I think I have drank my weight in coffee. I have also finished about 3 papers for this semester of grad school, hoping I don't run out of things to do......Any help is much appreciated....D

Ms London · Veteran Member

Welcome!

Doll · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP. I"m sooooo glad you're here. Congrats on 24 hours. That is awesome!

(((hugs)))

Jen

pinkchip · MIP Old Timer

I am basing these suggestions off my own experience. What I have learned in meetings is that the "do it at home thing" is putting yourself through more hell than you need to. Even in the first week or two, the meetings were the only place where I did not crave, where I felt relaxed, and where I felt the most encouragement. There are several people I know trying to get sober and go through grad school. In terms of other people in your life needing proof, it doesn't really matter. You have to WANT to stop drinking or it won't work. I do think once you start going to meetings you will enjoy them and won't have a problem telling some of the important people in your life what you are learning. Nonetheless, I suggest going to a meeting over the weekend...probably on both days..that was the hardest time to avoid craving because I had no idea what else to do with the free time. One of the factors of AA that works is being around others. Isolating at home is kind of dangerous and the obsession with drinking won't go away as fast is if you go to meetings and start looking forward to them. That is what happened to me. My desire to drink left in about 10 days from going to SOOOOOOOO many meetings. Meetings kick ass. Start going! I am also saying this having a 50 hour a week plus work schedule...I don't have the luxury of attending meetings all day, but I found plenty when I needed them.

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

Meetings will provide the same sort of support and encouragement, but it will also allow for timely dialogue with people who are the same as you. For me in early recovery that was important becuase if something was on my mind I'd obsess over it until someone could help me. I was sick... Hopeless, fearful, low self esteem and confidence. For me things got better when I went to a meeting... announced I was new... and the fellowship took over. The phase HOW was also important.. Honestly, Openmindness and Willingness. Honest about my booze problem, Openmindness to do the suggestions of those who came before me and the Willingness to take those suggestions and put them into action. Chances are like me, people around you a looking for proof because of wreckage we left in our wake. Lying, manipulation, sneeking and the endless sorry that were followed up by only more of the same. But, you need not worry about that at this point... my sponsor tells me I can't screw anything up if I remain sober and maintain my program. He tells me god has a plan and we need to let him perform his magic. He's driving and we're along for the ride. By remaining sober and practicing a solid program the people around me didn't worry about a schedule after awhile... they could witness the change. For that I'm grateful. My program is a regular meeting schedule, regular commnication with my sponsor and people in the fellowship, pray and the practicing the steps as laid out in the big book. Stick with it, it works if you work it.

Tipsy McStagger · Senior Member

Don't be creeped out by how nice everyone is...I wish someone had said that to me when I first went to a meeting, every time someone hugged me I thought I was being pick pocketed! Now I realize that the kindness and support you find form total strangers at meetings is due to a deep, sincere care and concern for the alcoholic who stills suffers. That's you buddy :)