I worked from home today, and my 16 year old daughter was off of school because of snow and cold (Indiana). We watched the show 'intervention' - and it was like looking in a mirror. I'm not as bad as she was, but I know my drinking bothers my daughter, and I wonder if that's why she likes the show so much - maybe they say things to their parents that she can't say to me? Anyway, I was in AA for about a year when I got pregnant with her, and stayed until she was about 5-6, but started with a marguarita when I was going to a concert, and now drink about half a fifth a day (my hubby drinks the other half). It's no way for her to see her Mom & Dad, and it bothers me, but I don't want to go back to the tables, don't want to see her bio dad, (who was in the program then - don't know if he still is), I'm afraid my hubby now will divorce me (he divorced his first wife when she quit drinking) - What am I to do??? The first time around I went through a 30 day treatment program, but that's not an option now - My husband is laid off, and I can't possibly take 30 days off of my job. ????? I know my drinking is slow suicide, but I'm afraid to take the first step and go to a meeting. Any advice out there???
Hey carolmac, Glad you're here. I'm not going to give you any advise, but I will suggest going ahead and checking out a meeting. I kind of believe you already know this though. I came straight to the rooms from 24/7 drinking, but I did have a G.P. keeping on eye on me.
We will be here cheering you on to a meeting and we will be here when you come back and we'll want to know all about it!!!!
just wanted to acknowledge your courage in writing how you feel on here...that is a great first step, literally, because you are being honest with yourself.
I'd be interested to hear more from you, so if you ever post on here, I am sure I will read what you have to say and would like to know how you feel.
I have been in recovery for two years, but drank over the past six weeks, last time on Monday, so have four days up, but am so glad I have kept in touch with the program and now starting to see the benefits in how I am feeling, and though it's only four days, I know that one day at a time, those four days have been a period of personal growth for me, and that each day I feel a little better.
Hey Carole, you can always till it gets worse. I'm praying that you'll acquire the gifts of desperation and willingness. That's what it took for me, along with a divorce, losing a great job, and watching a friend die. I finally surrendered when my son turned two (he's a junior in college now) so that he didn't have to grow up with a drunk for a dad like I did. You need to live for yourself and let your husband do the same. If he wants to divorce you because you got sober he's not worth being married to. If you get sober, he will lose his drinking partner and may decide to give it up too. Don't pretend to know how the future will unfold, just focus on what you need to do today. 12.5 oz of liquor is equivilent to about 13 beers a day. That's about what I averaged. Life is short get back into recovery and get a life.
The best thing I ever did for my kids is to quit drinking! What a great example I have set for my kids. My husband and I are both sober now and we warn or kids about the dangers of alcohol and that its truly doubly in their genes.... I hope you get the willingness to do this for you!!! Good luck and give it a try!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Sounds like a sticky situation but it also sounds like you are on the path towards realizing what's right on your own. The only thing that might add some clarity could be talking to your daughter honestly about the situation. She is 16, probably is able to state her thoughts and feelings maturely, and it sounds like she's dropping some serious hints your way. Of course I recognize I could be totally wrong in this also.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I worked from home today, and my 16 year old daughter was off of school because of snow and cold (Indiana). We watched the show 'intervention' - and it was like looking in a mirror. I'm not as bad as she was, but I know my drinking bothers my daughter, and I wonder if that's why she likes the show so much - maybe they say things to their parents that she can't say to me? Anyway, I was in AA for about a year when I got pregnant with her, and stayed until she was about 5-6, but started with a marguarita when I was going to a concert, and now drink about half a fifth a day (my hubby drinks the other half). It's no way for her to see her Mom & Dad, and it bothers me, but I don't want to go back to the tables, don't want to see her bio dad, (who was in the program then - don't know if he still is), I'm afraid my hubby now will divorce me (he divorced his first wife when she quit drinking) - What am I to do??? The first time around I went through a 30 day treatment program, but that's not an option now - My husband is laid off, and I can't possibly take 30 days off of my job. ????? I know my drinking is slow suicide, but I'm afraid to take the first step and go to a meeting. Any advice out there???