Well, as I said I slipped and I feel terrible about it. I no-showed for my last 2 days of work and my parents are furious with me, but somehow my boss is willing to let me come back in and have a talk with him about keeping my job.
The only problem is, all I feel like doing is laying in bed by myself and not going anywhere near work, or seeing any of the people I work with.
My question is, how honest should I be with my boss about my drinking? Does he have a "right" to know? I've been saying i'm having personal issues, but haven't got any more specific than that. What would you guys suggest? Thanks...
Guess it would all depend on how honest you wish to be with yourself.......and know that if you let you let the cat out of the bag you can't put it back in again, so be prepared for come what may.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Is there even the most remote of possibilities that your boss kows you drink too much, and is just waiting for you to take responsibility? Just a question you might want to ask yourself. I found that most people knew I had a drinking problem even when I tried hard to hide it. I used to not show up for jobs too. The thing is, people who don't drink or use drugs RARELY pull something like that. I thought I was fooling everybody but I was only fooling myself.
But I too think you should also take into consideration what Doll said.
I have found that times when I have been totally honest, it has always worked out for the better in the end anyway, because my Higher Power wants me to be honest, and then let Him do the rest. Maybe see if your boss brings it up?
Just my thoughts, take what you need and leave the rest. Good luck to you with this. It's a toughy!
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I'm VERY sure, all the jobs I ditched for days or didn't go back to at all, that at least the boss had an idea. And maybe that's what the message you got meant. "my boss is willing to let me come back in and have a talk with him about keeping my job."
I'm learning I can rehearse and prepare for talks all I want, they never go or come out the way I think they will. I'm learning to go with honesty, after talking with one of us, and trust God that whatever happens is going to be good for me, weather it feels like it at the time or not.
I'll be praying for you.
And thanks, I needed to look at my own honesty today!!
Good luck with this one...First off, you honestly need to get out of bed, hit some meetings, share where you are and move on. Laying around wont keep you sober but it may make you feel like drinking again!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Well, I told I had a feeling he had a hunch what was happening, and he was extremely understanding and asked if I had a problem with drinking, and I admitted to it. Turns out he said he used to have a problem too, and that I have all the support in the world here and from him, and if I ever feel like i'm going to slip to give him a call.
He also said there is no way he would get rid of me for something like that, but if it happens to give him a call and let him know what's going on, instead of avoiding it and no-showing like I was doing (out of fear).
I feel very lucky today, I definitely didn't want to be without a job, and was regretting my stupid actions the day after I made them.
That's great, Paul and great that there is another source of support there. It's these little things that come along to give us a helping hand when we need it.
Nice one Paul, glad to hear of that outcome, and also your ability to share with us here of the way you felt about it.....I can certainly identify with those feelings of not wanting to face up to people when I feel that I have let them down.
Paul, I am not sure where you are in your journey or how much you have been involved in AA, but what I recognize and know is that when you are feeling the urge to isolate and pull away, that is your disease trying to take control of you. It will probably cause you more self-loathing and negative thinking to do nothing. You might take a look at this situation as a blessing. Standing at the crossroads (as they say in the literature) you have a choice to surrender and say "Look, I do have a problem with alcohol and I need help." In doing that, this may be your first step in never having to disappoint yourself, your parents, and your employers again. It also sounds like you might be having problems with depression though I can't say for sure, but that might be another problem to address with your boss, your family, and yourself. Either way, depression and alcoholism are both diseases you didn't really ask for. Instead of feeling crappy about them, I believe it is better to seek help. That way it IS NOT MAKING EXCUSES, but getting honest, taking responsibility, and taking care of yourself in a mature way. Whatever you decide to do, just keep your head up, try and reflect on the next right decision and the mess will eventually clear up little by little in one way or another as long as you make efforts.
I didn't read all the way through to see that the events unfolded a little bit. Sounds like a good result. I do not want to give you advice but I only am concerned that you don't take the positive result as a green light to keep on drinking and have your boss enable it. You will get fired eventually if you do that. Sounds harsh, but I felt like I needed to say that.
-- Edited by pinkchip at 08:12, 2009-01-13
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
Thanks for all the replies...i'm learning more and more about this whole situation as time goes on.
At first I didn't think a thing about drinking a case of beer a night alone, I rarely got hungover and it was fun.
Then the pain/uneasiness began to start, but I wasn't willing to admit, or didn't realize it was because of the drinking.
Then as time went on, the fun left and the pain and fear took over, and it became full blown addicting, physically and mentally.
Now i'm at a point where I realize I can't be doing it anymore, it picks up where it left off and it can't be a part of my life. In a way i'm thankful for being able to realize this at a young age (22), and become healthy and begin caring about myself and feeling good. But another part of me is sad, as I won't be able to join my friends in all the craziness they get into anymore.
I'm at a very strange point in my life that i'm looking forward to putting behind me.
Isnt it amazing how our higher power puts people and places in our lives to help us! You are very lucky your boss can relate to you as most non-alkies cant! Use your resources and hit some meetings...we have a HUGE young crowd in my town and these young people really have formed a great bond!! Find some groups like that and discover for yourself how much a sober life can be!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Sounds like you put your head and heart in the right place, and by trusting that honesty was the best thing to do, God gave you an AWESOME gift!!! Sober life is full of these miracles every day when we just trust and then do the next right thing.
USE your boss, too!! He has offered his help, and I am sure he really wants to be there for you!
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I certainly agree that you've had great suggestions here for your post, and one thing come to mind for me is.
For me, I have to be real honest with myself first before I can become honest with others, also sounds to me like you need to forgive yourself first along with being honest with yourself.
I'm sure things will get better one day at a time, and stay close to your higher power. We are human and do tend to get into negative thinking and well the other shit that goes along with it.
If you have someone that you feel comfortable with talking to, call them or come here and we'll be here to support you no matter what..
I felt the same way....and I'm pretty sure it's guilt. I too went with the 'personal issues' spiel. It's very easy for people to tell us to be honest (my dad wanted me to tell my boss) but not every one is going to be as supportive as we may need. You will have to make that call depending on your situation.
Ill have to agree with everyone else who has commented. Sobriety is HARD HARD HARD, but feels aweome, and each day that goes by gets a little bit easier. I'm only 4 months right now, but would not be here if it wasn't for the meetings. I tried doing that the first time. It landed me in rehab: )
Meetings aren't just to talk about alcohol, they are to talk about life. It'c a different type of openness, and if you're anything like me, I stuff my feelings, so it feels good to be able to talk and relate to others. Good luck with everything.....
