Just in case your wondering whether I've noticed what's been going on under my nose, I thought I should tell you that I have.. and I do wish you didn't work in such subtle ways sometimes...
Do you think you could just be a bit more straightforward?
You know...when I talk to you, I just lay it out. Tell ya how it is, what's going on... How come you like to reveal things so slowly, and increase the chances that I'm gonna miss stuff? Why is that???
Some folks say we are slower learners down here, but I've worked with kids and I think it has more to do with teaching...but I realise experience is also a good way to learn.
Anyway...I'm going to talk to those lovely young ladies who turned my loungeroom into a World Wrestling Federation advertisement last night and see if I can't start with me.
You see...I think I came out to the farm and thought bugger it...there's no-one around to monitor my behaviour so I can just kinda relax. And for some reason I can't really explain, I found lots of things to swear at...you know...posts that won't sit straight, motors that wanna go on strike, fences that sag...and I started developing a vocab that's just not fit for social situations. Somewhere in all the jobs, I forgot my kids were listening...
So now I have these two beautiful girls, that everyone tells me are really nice kids and well adjusted (? to what exactly...me?) who LOOK like butter wouldn't melt in their mouths, but instead out of it came a string of frustration in a manner that just about floored me. When they too, realised swearing wasn't helping they turned on each other like dingos at dinner time. Rolling on the floor, swinging fists and going for it like they were fighting for all those poor diggers that were sent to the wrong part of the island.
Now I admit I didn't handle it very well, God. I was thrown for a six, to be quite honest. Yes - it was pretty stupid to start lecturing on how wrong it is to pull hair in a fair fight...
So I spent a lot of time thinking about this last night. Thinking, how on earth did we get to this? And I realise you've sending me subtle cautions for some time. It is easy to get caught up in life, you know? It's ok for you - sitting up there, laughing at the dumb things I do - but do you think once in a while you could just throw in a Whoooo, you missed something, kid!
Instead, You just seem to smile and wait for it to all get nutty and in need of a major overhaul... I will be sitting my girls down this arvo, trying NOT to swear, and I will let them get their frustrations with life out with someone who is willing to listen.
Oh bugger - you got me again, didn't you!!!!
Righto, yeah - your teaching style is pretty good. We can all only try.
Sounds like you need to get a punch bag set up in the barn, so you can all kick and punch it to hell and let go of some of that anger and frustration and pent up aggression in a harmless direction.
Even better get a dirt bike, as well, for the kids to burn up all that adrenaline.
I believe in the old days people used to chop up firewood for a few hours.
PS Talking to god ain't gonna help cos there isn't one
PPS Well done for teaching your kids its not smart to fight fair
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Back the bid for the Olympics anwhere else but London
I am shot to bits sitting on the fence post, blood spurting, limbs dangling from sinews. Death beckons.
How glad I am not to be esconced in that dreadful appartment on Salita Giafari in Upper Taormina. All those stairs to carry the shopping up and the land-laldy bitch from hell.
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Back the bid for the Olympics anwhere else but London
