I have a resentment with someone in the rooms. Here it is.
It started out with asking this guy for additional advice, he is not my sponser but I thought he may be able to help. He ended up self appointing himself my sponsor, and helping me with my step 4. The next thing I knew I was telling him about some of my deepest darkest secrets, cause he was kinda squeezing it out of me, at popeyes chicken on base. He didn't even serve to warn me there people standing right behind, and as I was telling him I glance over my shoulder and they where just kinda flabbergasted over hearing what I just said. I turned around and looked back at guy "like what the hell man you couldn't give me a warning". Then he continued to talk about my shit around these people. That just made me feel extremely uncomfortable. He didn't even seem to care. It wouldn't of bothered me normally, however we live in a very small community here and could be people who know me, so much for frikin anonymity.
Later he continued to push my buttons as time went by. Its as if he knew he was doing it at the same time. aghh.... He was just simply fucking with me. I know it.
Ok, the guy scares me at the same time. He's a nut job. He's a veteran marine. And quite honestly I am scared if I try to confront him he will try and kill me. The dude is insane, now that I see. I can't believe I got myself involved with him.
Thats is just a few problems, there are many more. How do I deal with someone like this?
Lydon, sounds like you went along with him sponsoring you and hearing your 5th step, when you really wanted to say no. The red flags were there but you ignored them. Not blaming just saying, NO is an easy word to say. Even "I'll think about it" is pretty easy to say. Now I'd just avoid the guy, let him move on to bothering someone else. On the other hand, be glad that you finished your 4th and 5th steps. That is a major "buy in" to the program and long term sobriety. Take it easy, there are no big deals. If it will make you feel better, we can post some of our most embarassing moments from our own 4th steps. Anyone game for that?
I wouldn't call this embarrassing, but it's part of my 5th Step story.I've shared how desperate I was to get sober and stay sober, so when I heard that working the Steps would help me stay sober, I was more than ready...until... I finished writing my 4th Step.My sponsor knew I thought I was done and tried to set a date for us get together to do my 5th Step.I kept giving her excuses as to why this date or that date wouldn't work.I had pretty much ruled out that whole month.So, she told me not to put it off for too long and to get back with her as soon as I was ready.I got defensive and told her I was ready, but I could give her a firm day.So she let it go, I thought, and I was really relieved.After we hung up, I had relaxed as if I had gotten away with something and then I started feeling some guilt for lying and shame because I knew she knew I was, bottom line, lying about not being able to meet.A little while later the door bell rang and it was her!!!When she walked in the door, she said "Fear is the corroding thread that binds us, lets rock and roll."A few hours later we had completed my 5th step.What a relief!
The last two paragraphs in the 5th Step of the Twelve and Twelve pretty much explains my experience.I still can't read it without tearing with relief.
if your friend is crazy better to deal with it now then to humour him and create a even worse situation by allowing more of a relationship to develop. His disregard for your anonymity and privacy has given you a valid and perfectly acceptable reason for not wanting to have anything to do with him. If he can't understand that or refuses to accept it then let him know that you'll be making some phone calls.
Unfortunately not everyone who wants to help is capable or worthy of giving it.
Get a new sponsor, and then inform this guy that you have a new sponsor. And you don't owe him an explanation. Sounds like he would be the type to quickly go find someone else to dominate, at least you can hope that he will do that.
By the way, you are on a military base... US Military?
Welcome to the group, from snowy Ohio.
__________________
~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
