I am an Al-Anoner. I live in a small rural community. I attend the local open AA meetings. I always intro myself as Al-Anon and offer to leave the room for a separate meeting (sometimes I leave the room and do the readings myself). Haven't had any takers in a year. So I attend regularly to stay in my program. I have learned alot and receive alot of esh from the A's. I have become close to them. We have gone to round-ups together. Last week someone said that this couple had slipped after 3 months. They are really neat people however their children had been taken away because of the drinking. I feel disappointed because they were doing so well. It was neat to see their progress every week. We all slip in some way or another. I guess when I got into the program I didn't realize how attached I would get. Any insight for me.
it takes what it takes... and we drink again because it is NORMAL for an alcoholic to do so.... those of us who are staying sober today are doing so by almost a "fluke"... doesn't make sense that going to meetings and doing what we do with our recovery would keep us from picking up 24 hours at a time..... but it does for so many...
we never know what peoples' ultimate path to lasting recovery will look like until later , years down the road.... our trips back out teach us something, if we can manage to get back here into the rooms again after the fact. I am sure it is a long hard process coping with what they have, in losing their kids. Keep your chin up, and know that you will never understand what takes people back out, as we ourselves don't understand sometimes.... it hurts, but it is something we unfortunately have to get used to, along with the idea that we never know what someone else's path to freedom will entail.... we just keep them in our prayers and keep plugging along...
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
It does hurt when those we care for go back out. WOW! Musta been some serious stuff for the kids to be taken.
Here's what I KNOW: in my HG, in 3 yrs there has been 4 couples. These 4 all met in the program. 1 got divorced within a year, 1 is on shakey ground, of those one or both have gone back out and 2 have been married and sober for over 15 yrs. I know of 2 couples who came in together, the wives have a few 24 hrs, they share their husbands no longer come to meetings - but we're told 1 is doing good, the other is just dry.
It was hard enough for me to keep myself sober, can't imagine there being 2 of us. Like joni said, "we drink because it's normal............"
Pray for them and the best outcome for their children. I will be be.
((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
The only thing we can do is pray for those who are no longer with us. I also liked the idea someone suggested in an earlier post about making a phone call to those people to check in...sometimes that may give them the courage to come back...
It does make me sad when people leave. It also makes me remember why I am here and when temptation knocks on my door I just dont answer it today. I have gotten close with a few people who just dont get it. They may come back and leave again and come back...and each time, I welcome them back with open arms.. It may be me someday???????!!!!!!!
It also reminds me that I am so sick. What a cunning disease this is to give up all we have, even our children, for the sake of the booze...It just proves to me again and again where I could be.
It scared me a little to read what doll said about couples. My husband and I are both in although we have been together 20 yrs. Today our life is the best it has ever been. We are kinder to one another and we support each other when times get tough. Its not always easy, but it is alot easier than it used to be!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
