I have a very good girlfriend who actually saw me thru the worst times of my drinking. She is proud of and supports my sobriety. But she does drink, and often, after going to a party or having a family event, she tells me about the drinks they had in detail- ie; "Manhatten's with sour cherries imported from Italy" or "Cucumber Martinis" - (who knew?)
I guess that non alcoholic people share this information with each other- it's not that it causes me to crave- I just think it's a little weird. But then again, I don't want to stop her from talking about what pleasures are in her life.
And I'm guessing I'm being a overly sensitive. In that moment she is just describing herself and I should just be cool with that. ? BG
Alcohol related words arequite alien to my mouth these days. There's not much call for me to use them & neither in the company I keep so I don't have to hear them in any detail very often. I wouldn't consider it a healthy passtime for me to indulge in any lengthy conversations re different drinks & I generally steer clear of any casual references to the substance because of my preferring to partake in a culture of staying sober.
I play it safe on all counts so that I don't have any reservations toward it being an attractive option! I'm sure your friend can have great fun recounting her drinking with someone else & you have many things you can enjoy sharing with each other instead. I think it's ok for you to let her know you feel differently towards it & would be happy if she gave the subject a miss as a matter of tact. I'm glad she's supportive of your sobriety. That's a good asset :) I hope this helps, Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
only an alcoholic would feel that way, you're in the right place
Har! Yep. (I was once telling a girl I know that I can't be an alcoholic because I can go for like 97 days without drinking. She gives me a hug and grabs my face with her hands and says, "Honey- people who aren't alcoholics dont count days.")
"offended" ? Nah! BUT, if it bothers you, let your friend know........ My John used to tell me, while talking on the phone about our day" ".....so I came home and had myself a toddy or 2!". Sometimes it DID bother me, and I never knew when it would, so I just politely asked him to keep his "toddy stories" to himself just in case.
Worked out well!
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
When I am offended by someone else's behavior, thats my problem. My friends didnt stop drinking just cuz I did, nor did any of my family members. Even tho I may have thougth from time to time that since I got sober, the whole world should get sober. The best way for me to deal with Others' drinking was to practice tolerance of their shortcomings, and have respect for their opinions and behaviors. For when I learn how to do that ,I become more helpful to others which is really what Im striving for in sobriety. It has turned into a 'live and let live' deal for me.
Lotta sick ppl out there in this world. I need to remember that and then be very grateful that Im not one of them anymore.
Only you can decide if it sets off a trigger for you to drink or if it bothers you when your friend talks about such things. As she has been with you throughout getting sober and in her own way can understand you no longer drink, I dont think it would be offensive for you to suggest it bothers you! Thats the beauty of being in AA and "getting honest!" That honesty also holds true for sharing feelings with those that we hang with.
This reminds me of the fact that I dont hang with the neighbors anymore, or perhaps briefly, because they are actively drinking and it must still bother me. Ive shared this with old timers and its seems to be the general consensus that after a while, if we are spiritually grounded, that these things wont bother us! They drink, I choose not to. But for today, I need to avoid these situations for my well being.
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
When I first got sober it seems I noticed the alcohol talk more...probably cause I was really obsessed for awhile. If she's a good friend, let her know it's bugging you. I'm STILL shocked by the cost of alcohol...now I know where all my money went!!
I don't think it is abnormal for people "out there" to talk about what drink recipes were served with dinner or at a party. For "normal" people, it is all part of the mood and atmosphere and doesn't make them sick people.
For me, letting my closest and longest friends know just how "bad off" I was seems to have curbed such talk.
And.... MY only "recipe" for drinks was GET the bottle, Open it, and chug it.
:o/
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Well, simple but true rules...if a friend does stuff that bothers you- speak up! The fact that I even notice enuf to consider being offended by talk about drinks means I am far from "taking it or leaving it." And last, truth be told, it makes me a bit jealous of their freedom to drink- Sooo- I remind myself that sobriety is a choice, not a sentence...AND play the whole tape thru of what happens when I drink. With all of that it my head, I can let it go. Thanks everyone BG
When I first got sober it seems I noticed the alcohol talk more...probably cause I was really obsessed for awhile.
I'm STILL shocked by the cost of alcohol...now I know where all my money went!!
That makes 2 of us. With the holidays coming it will be advertised on the TV more and I will most likely change the station! I am an alcoholic, I believe if it didn't bother me (at times) I could once again start to think I could drink 'normally' ............ Cost of alcohol? Hmmmm. I have NO clue what that would be today (Thank you *God)
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Werent they supposed to stop advertising booze commercials years ago? I know beer ones are on, but hard liquor? Now that I watch tv I see them all the time.... The cost....At first it was the pretty bottles of wine that caught my fancy, I could afford one bottle. Then when I needed more spirit, I spent 3.65 on a pint of vodka! Yea joni, open and chug!! lol
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I am an alcoholic, I believe if it didn't bother me (at times) I could once again start to think I could drink 'normally' ............ Cost of alcohol? Hmmmm. I have NO clue what that would be today (Thank you *God)